Poll Does one partner want sex more than the other (in your relationship)?

[Mach123]

So one of us wants to have sex more than the other. I wanted the title to be "you are obligated to have sex with me, or not." I personally think being married makes things about a thousand percent different? Everyone should be able to vote though! I was thinking about some of the kinds of things you say to try and "convince" the "more reluctant" one to "come across" and some of the responses. I have been reading this (and writing about it) for awhile mostly in diaries, which not everyone reads. You want sex and I don't, now put the shoe on the other foot. I want sex and you don't, now put the shoe on the other foot. Oh, and we're married btw, (just sayin') ; ). Now what? Get a hobby? Who gets to say so? If you loved me you would, if you loved me, you wouldn't. See what I mean?

 

[somerandomguy]

Maybe just "partnered" and not "married?" This poll leaves out all of our same-sex couples, too, although I guess it makes some amount of sense if you're trying to look for gender differences.

 

[Virtues]

I voted... but you forgot 4 options
I'm a married male but my partner wants sex more
I'm a married female but my partner wants sex more
I'm an unmarried male but my partner wants sex more
I'm an unmarried female but my partner wants sex more

 

[Mach123]

ok ok im trying here lol

 

[DharmaGirl]

I was married to a man that much to my surprise, preferred masturbation. It broke my heart at first, then I remembered what past lovers had said, and acted like, and even though intellectually I knew it wasn't me, I still believed it was. It was really frustrating in all senses of the word, and I eventually got divorced. If the rest of the marriage was good, I would have worked with it, but it wasn't.

Honestly I was thinking of taking a female lover, since I was so put off by his behavior, and I thought I might be a better fit. But, I didn't try

 

[Mach123]

we can take it down i was gonna ask someone to help me i was getting a brain cramp

Oh i meant not to exclude ANYONE for any reason! EVERYONE is welcome and included.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I want to see what others say, can you keep it up without the poll?

 

[Mach123]

Yeah, ill take the poll down if they'll do it? At first thats what I was going to do? Then I felt creative lol!

 

[Skywatcher]

Medications and hormone levels can be a big part of this. Also phases in marriage, work stress, ptsd/trauma crap, morning vs. evening, porn use, self care.

 

[Fadeaway]

No one is obligated to have sex, even in marriage.

Things to say to a hessitent person? It is ok, I love you and want to be with you for more reasons than just sex. I dont want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable. Maybe we can come up with activities you do feel comfortable with like mutual masterbation or even just kissing and being close, then I can take care of myself after.

Fyi, higher sex drive female, low sex drive husband.

 

[joeylittle]

Thread has been re-opened, and poll adjusted to be more inclusive.

 

[Mach123]

No one is obligated to have sex, even in marriage.

Things to say to a hessitent person? It is ok, I...

No one is obligated to have sex, even in marriage.

Things to say to a hessitent person? It is ok, I...

Who am I obligated to have sex with then? What did that bit about forsaking all others mean? I wish I'd have spoken with you first, I could have avoided all this?