Childhood Trauma Validation

[Nicolette]

but what about someone who was raised from birth being abused, raped and fondled, locked away from life, daily terror and torment? That trumps what we do by volunteering for soldiering. We asked for our shit... a young kid never asked for their abuse. Who is really worse off for trauma and then day to day life now?

A bit off topic sorry, but as one of those abused children, this is one of the most validating things I have read here in terms of accepting the situation of say CPTSD & PTSD. Many talk about how it is understandable to have PTSD from being in the military but nothing in relation to childhood abuse other than pity/empathy.

This made things like my sister having CPTSD help me have the potential for more "validation as an illness" as I think some of us forget "they never asked for it".

What I am trying to say is that some more readily associate PTSD with the armed forces and some of those who are uneducated look at you strange when told a person has PTSD from childhood abuse.

 

[Nicolette]

I have just moved my post above from a response in the introduction section as I think it holds more worth here. The original post I responded to was [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/threads/14222-The-Damn-Army-And-Disgusting-Animals?p=147803#post147803[/DLMURL]

 

[Grama-Herc]

Thank You so much for this thread. You said it right! I also think part of the problem is the most recent *in* issue to have is ptsd. It seems like the phrase is popping up more and more lately, or maybe I am just more aware of it.

 

[TLight]

YEah, those of us with childhood trauma are sometimes seen as 'just whining' or 'blaming.'

Even my psychiatrist (from India) who worked a lot for the VA in PTSD said, 'other people have experience real trauma, like seeing their buddies head blown off next to them or losing limbs and witnessing death'............

Well, now I just use him for meds and DO NOT talk to him. Like being raped at 3 doesn't result in damage to the brain, especially since it's so young and forming.........I contend even MORE damage.

This guy is a jerk just collecting tons of money........can't imagine him being at the VA and looking kinda 'asian'...........must have sent some poor guys hospitalized at the time ballistic. Idiot government hiring 'asian' looking people to treat vietnam vets..........wish they'd pull their heads out.

 

[Marlene]

Thanks for posting that, Nicolette. I do see a lot of that 'stop whining and get over it...it's over' attitude about childhood abuse (all kinds). People tend to think that only soliders, cops, firefighters, etc. have had 'real' traumas. Personally I think I should get back combat pay for having grown up in my house with my family.

Also-addressed to Anthony-as a veteran (although my military service didn't cause me PTSD) I will say this...we didn't 'ask for our shit'. Most people who join the military are young, dumb kids (I count myself here) who are looking for a better life, escaping a bad place (me here, too) or looking to get some money for college through serving their country. They weren't told up front 'The risk you take is to maybe kill people, see people killed, be hurt or killed yourself and then have to find a way to live with the shit you see.' If they did they told the kids that and THEN they signed on the dotted line...yes, they were informed. Yes, we were trained to kill on command. Yes, we signed the dotted line voluntarily. Yes, that's a soldier's life. But two things...the possibility was not spoken of BEFORE we got in and it was too late to back out. It was all the good stuff that was pumped up so the recruiter could make his quota. They were told to NEVER talk about the negative stuff. Secondly, we were trained to be soldiers, but were never given any training to stop being soldiers. To undo what was taught us. It's been 20+ years since I've gotten out and I still put the world into two categories-military and civilans. Even the people who are lip-deep in the shit over there are still pretty much responsible for getting their heads back on straight unless they ask for help. The help should be without asking for it. It should be for all vets who get out to learn to be civilians (or as close to it as they can be) again. *stepping off soap-box*

Lisa

 

[Jagged Angel]

I think the problem lies in exposure. People have been told time and time again that people in the military get PTSD. It's been around for a long time for soldiers (battle fatigue, gross stress reaction, combat fatigue, shell shock, soldier's heart) but there has not really been much exposure of the concept to do with childhood abuse. I suppose you could also add the fact that childhood abuse is not something that people talk about. It is something that people keep quiet about, and as a culture there is a lot of silence on the subject, especially regarding the ongoing effects in later life.

Just as an example, I can think of 5 movies about military PTSD right off the top of my head, but I cannot think of one single movie about childhood abuse PTSD... silence

 

[NIKI]

How can I expect people to understand childhood trauma, when as an adult I tried to talk to my mother about all the emotional abuse that happened in the house, she cut me off by saying "Oh it wasn't that bad!!" Hello, did we live in the same house?!!!

 

[Marlene]

How can I expect people to understand childhood trauma, when as an adult I tried to talk to my mother about all the emotional abuse that happened in the house, she cut me off by saying "Oh it wasn't that bad!!" Hello, did we live in the same house?!!!

Wow...I didn't realize we lived in the same house! My mother is the same way. Now that my father has died, she's successfully put everything bad at his feet, absolved her own sins (neat trick if you can do it) and walked away from everything to do with the past. Unfortuantely I don't have her skill set.

Whenever, during my life, I've brought up physical or emotional abuse to my mother, I got the same 'It's not that bad', 'You're blowing it out of proportion', line o'crap. They can't see it because they won't see it because then they have to acknowledge some responsibility. It's a non-winner.

Lisa

 

[NIKI]

You got that right! No responsibility!! When as a teen I was depressed my parents knew that they could never send me to a counsler because then I might talk about the abuse. Oh no I couldn't do that because that was the secret!

 

[TLight]

My mom and brothers and sister say the same thing, 'It wasn't that bad.'..........Mind f*ing.

 

[goingonhope]

You said it right! I also think part of the problem is the most recent *in* issue to have is ptsd.

Some hell'a'va issues for those who think it's {IN} to have Ptsd. I'm pretty accustomed to keeping myself on the outside of the {IN} crowd. I like it this way! Sure would've liked to have had some say in whether I made it inside or remained outside of any ptsd bunch. As much as I love you'all here, along with countless other people with Ptsd I'm sure we'd all of chosen OUT!!!

As for strange looks from another when I've mistakenly mentioned that I have ptsd amidst my story of alcoholism, I missed the strange look and rather heard some really sh'tty stuff said following. This was within the last couple years or so when some oldtimer spoke up during a discussion and he said, "I went to go visit the veternes at the VA and I saw this one and met that one and the condition they were in was they had the REAL Ptsd! The real thing! REAL PTSD! Not this other stuff that you hear." .......blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and he carried on. The thing is here, ignorance does not change reality, I only wish it could, and so it remains nothing more then ignorance to be accepted.

Must say the whole 'In' thing with Ptsd, just continues to irk me.

 

[goingonhope]

Like being raped at 3 doesn't result in damage to the brain,

Please understand me quoting this TLight, as I just now read this and it makes me shiver and want to cry my eyes out, instead all I can do is remain seated with my neck and skull feeling as solid and tight as steel. I am so sorry this ever happened to you.