DID cPTSD, DID, and remembering trauma

[whiteraven]

I'm struggling with being able to both remember and identify my traumas - I think at some point I stopped hearing anything my insiders say because there is sooo much. It's incredibly overwhelming. I also have issues understanding what is trauma and what is a reaction to normal, everyday stresses. I don't know how to move forward without being able to even recognize what got me here.

Can anybody relate?

 

[MyWillow]

I don’t even believe I’ve experienced any trauma ever. All I get are flashbacks which feel like I’m making shit up. What really helps is my psydoc focusing on my symptoms here and now. Dissociation, numbness, avoidance (especially relationships). She says we need to work on making me emotionally smart. Because being intellectually smart isn’t cutting it.

 

[whiteraven]

I don’t even believe I’ve experienced any trauma ever. All I get are flashbacks which feel like I’m making shit up.

Yes, this! Thank you, @MyWillow. Lots of flashbacks. Feeling like I'm/we're making everything up. But a very strong indication - disabling symptoms - that something is wrong.

 

[ILoveLife]

I've been through the same, but now I'm on a stable period (no symptoms).

Spoke to T, who says if we allow ourselves to stabilize first, things will come naturally as long as we have the strenght for them.

Has any major stressor happened to you lately?

 

[whiteraven]

Has any major stressor happened to you lately?

Most everything is a major stressor for me. Bullying at work, repeated car issues that nobody seems to be able to identify or fix, physical issues. A doctor who refuses to talk to me. Sick cat.

I could go on, but you probably get the point.

 

[MyWillow]

Most everything is a major stressor for me. Bullying at work, repeated car issues that nobody seems to be able to identify or fix, physical issues. A doctor who refuses to talk to me. Sick cat.

I could go on, but you probably get the point.

I’m at the point where I’m wondering if EVERYTHING is a stressor in my life. Dumb shit as well. Stuff that shouldn’t matter. Anyway I had a flashback during an equine therapy session yesterday - damn they’re good for grounding - but it’s forced me to realise I have to reduce and manage stress better otherwise I ain’t got the room to get better. I’m a flat out busy type as a means of avoidance so I’ve just made the decision to resign from a toxic, time consuming committee. I’m staying on another one that I like but will be delegating more. So my point is think about what you can change on a practical level (obviously sick cat you can’t ) and what you can change on a “how you deal with it” level. Always easier said than done of course but perhaps your T could help.