very bad day yesterday too upsetting

[yellow rose]

I had a extremely bad day yesterday. I was kind of ok then all of a sudden yesterday morning I started feeling a bit panicky and anxious and in the past. I felt like I wasnt really there at all I had this feeling like something had been stripped of me.. I think i may have been having a flashback, I felt like I was just this body and that something a part of me had been stripped away from me, I had this major feeling of loss. So I proceeded to do yoga for anxiety and depression after I think this helped a little to remove a little of the anxiety. I then proceeded to tell myself and my parts where we were that wewere ok that we were safe, But then after I still noticed all of me was feeling very upset. What does someone do when they try and try to do the things they should be doing but they still feel overwhelmed and so upset. I have been having a extremely bad week all week ever since my trauma therapy session and I cant work out or understand why this is or how to even deal with therapy any more. I also felt very upset yesterday last night about my childhood and everything I didnt have and still cant get to. I think I was very aware yesterday that seeing my neiece and nephew who are very very young made my '' little parts feel quite sad at time''.. I also in general have been feeling very very frustrated that after two years of therapy I still have to fight this mental illness and I cant even manage to do hardly anything by myself still out in the world. I don't know is this normal after so long of therapy to still be fearful of doing things in the outside world.. I sometimes just feel that the world is so frightening and that I do not know how to function in it.. even after two years of therapy.. my little parts just feel the world is too big for them. How do I start doing normal things in the world when I feel like I can't. Lots of tears yesterday. I wish I knew how to feel ok in this world and how to be in this world.. How does one get back in the world and do things when there mental state makes them feel so strange sometimes. How does one see a future :( sorry if this post is in the wrong part. I posted this because I mainly wanted to talk about my anxiety yesterday

 

[whiteraven]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, @yellow rose. You mentioned being frustrated with where you are after 2 years of therapy. It took me a LONG time for me and my insiders (parts) to feel comfortable and safe in therapy. My first therapist I was with for 4 years and I never felt like symptoms were relieved during the whole time. Part of that is because it's true that things often get worse before they get better. But I also discovered he (or how he was conducting therapy) was not what I needed at the time. I moved on and found somebody more in line with what I thought I needed.

Are you comfortable with your therapist? It might be beneficial to talk with him/her about working on containing your symptoms better so that you can get back out in the world.

What type of therapy are you doing?

 

[yellow rose]

Hello. I have always struggled going outside, and I was struggling before therapy to go outside aswell. My therapist uses EFT and integrative, she also uses CBT which we do not use much of. She uses chair work sometimes so we talk to my parts sometimes using chair work? What do you mean by containing the symptoms? Basically with my mental illness which includes me having parts, and also struggling with depersonalisation and sometimes flashbacks I do not know how to get out into the world after all the trauma I went through for six years in adulthood. At times my symptoms are bit better.. Ie I may be calmer or I may be feeling safer or more comfortable.. but that still doesnt help me with going outside. Yes I am very comfortable with my therapist and feel she is helping me..
I just dont know how to get back into the world after all this trauma.. and because sometimes things feel like they are getting worse.. as you say they can get worse before they get better.. well I dont know how to deal with that either.
When someone is working through so much trauma stuff that is so difficult.. I just dont understand most of the time how I am meant to have confidence with some of the ways I am feeling.. I even have parts of me that feel inanimate.. or non human.. So I am not sure how to function in the world being in the world regardless of what work we do on the trauma. I do not feel '' normal'' and the world doesnt feel very normal either. I try to walk outside but after two years of trying to walk outside i am extremely frustrated. I wonder if there are any self help books out there that can help with this.. My isolation really gets me down and angry aswell. It is like I do not want to be isolated, and I do not want this mental illness but I have it and I do not know how to stop being isolated..

 

[whiteraven]

What do you mean by containing the symptoms?

For me, I had a huge amount of trouble doing the work because my symptoms were out of control. When I explained this to my therapist, he really backed off for a bit on the trauma work and helped me learn to deal with the anger and frustration and fear and all the other stuff that goes along with this. He helped me learn how to *respond* differently, so the day-to-day stuff wasn't so hard. I still slip and have really bad days/weeks, but it's much better than it was.

which includes me having parts, and also struggling with depersonalisation and sometimes flashbacks I do not know how to get out into the world after all the trauma I went through for six years in adulthood.

I have all that, too. I went through multiple traumas in childhood and then again when I got older. But I work full-time and have 3 degrees. See, thing is, it CAN be done.

Is the trouble going outside related to your symptoms and trauma or is it more of a fear of being in open spaces? I don't like to go out, either, but it's mostly because people annoy me and the depression is so bad much of the time I just can't. But having work makes me go out and I actually feel better having structure to my day.

 

[Ruthb]

I had a extremely bad day yesterday. I was kind of ok then all of a sudden yesterday morning I started feeling a bit panicky and anxious and in the past. I felt like I wasnt really there at all I had this feeling like something had been stripped of me.. I think i may have been having a flashback, I felt like I was just this body and that something a part of me had been stripped away from me, I had this major feeling of loss. So I proceeded to do yoga for anxiety and depression after I think this helped a little to remove a little of the anxiety. I then proceeded to tell myself and my parts where we were that wewere ok that we were safe, But then after I still noticed all of me was feeling very upset. What does someone do when they try and try to do the things they should be doing but they still feel overwhelmed and so upset. I have been having a extremely bad week all week ever since my trauma therapy session and I cant work out or understand why this is or how to even deal with therapy any more. I also felt very upset yesterday last night about my childhood and everything I didnt have and still cant get to. I think I was very aware yesterday that seeing my neiece and nephew who are very very young made my '' little parts feel quite sad at time''.. I also in general have been feeling very very frustrated that after two years of therapy I still have to fight this mental illness and I cant even manage to do hardly anything by myself still out in the world. I don't know is this normal after so long of therapy to still be fearful of doing things in the outside world.. I sometimes just feel that the world is so frightening and that I do not know how to function in it.. even after two years of therapy.. my little parts just feel the world is too big for them. How do I start doing normal things in the world when I feel like I can't. Lots of tears yesterday. I wish I knew how to feel ok in this world and how to be in this world.. How does one get back in the world and do things when there mental state makes them feel so strange sometimes. How does one see a future :( sorry if this post is in the wrong part. I posted this because I mainly wanted to talk about my anxiety yesterday

hi
i hope your feeling a bit better today.I like you also have had a bad day today so be assured your not alone.Also to me the world feels overwhelming and scary.I've had panic and anxiety and also convinced i have some terrible illness and what's the point mixed with terror.I try and divert my mind which is so tiring and also drift back to bad trauma times.Every ache and pain and my mind focuses on it.
Ruth