Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[bellbird]

Ugh maybe I should try to locate a community though. It might really help while I’m so stressed.

I'm an atheist, but seriously if you feel that a religious community could help you, I'd totally suggest you try to locate one :hug:
You've gotta do what you think will help you feel better.

I don’t have to tell everyone that I was technically raised by an agnostic and a born-again atheist.

You're under no obligation to tell them anything :hug:

 

[littleoc]

True.

I’m pretty agnostic for the most part but I don’t think it would hurt anything. It has brought me comfort in the past.

 

[littleoc]

Not when I hallucinated it, though, that was terrifying. Lol. Thanks to Islam for providing comfort for that.

 

[ILoveLife]

Oh man, that sucks :(

I think your mom is right though, it's not your responsibility to pay for bills.
And I think you are right in her going for disability.

 

[Kubash16]

Your mom should definitely jump on any kind of assistance the government will provide, as you should too. I am so sorry that happened! If you aren't opposed to it, the Mormon church is really good about providing assistance as well. Including to non-members. They may ask or suggest that you attend some services (which aren't bad at all, and are a small price to pay). But they take really kindly to trying to help anyone out anyway they can.

 

[littleoc]

There is a mormon church nearby, but my mom closes the door on them every time they come over. Lol.

I suppose we’ll see.

My little bro’s mother-in-law is apparently a career counselor, so that’s cool beans! Maybe she could help. My little bro told our mom that today. That would be cool if she knows anything helpful :)

Hopefully I will have a job soon so that my mom can at least borrow money from me. I’m worried she’ll get into credit card debt or something. She doesn’t usually but you know.

Some income would be cool beans.

I am still hoping to get her a cool present at some point. Maybe an extra blanket or something. But I did order new parts for her fridge and will remove the old broken part and install the new part when it arrives, so maybe I’ll put a bow on that! Lol

Her (our?) cat Slinky suddenly stopped eating since last night. I looked her over and see appears completely fine. So I am thinking she may just be stressed. She said she was, but that was after my mom lost her job and was sobbing, so I imagine that that made Slinky nervous.

Slinky was Brandi’s cat’s niece. Tough but okay past. I won’t explain right now. Brandi legitimately thought Slinky was evil and named her Lucifer, Lucy for short. We changed that ASAP. She’s definitely not evil!

 

[Juso]

Oh no, that is so shitty! I have no clue what to do in your situation unfortunately because I am from Germany. This just sucks a lot!!! I think it was good that your mother didn't accept your money, seems like a healthy boundary. I understand that you want to support her though. But maybe first support yourself, you can't help her if you don't care for your wellbeing. I am thinking of you and hope that this difficult situation will pass soon.
:hug: ❤

 

[littleoc]

Thank you :hug:

And thank you @Sietz and @Kubash16 also, I don’t think I thanked you yet :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I forgot to say, my therapist agreed to see me anyway and says she won’t charge me.

So between that, her giving me car rides occasionally, and letting me meet her son and her new husband, she’s seeming to really be fond of me. Unfortunately that makes me incredibly nervous. :X But I will get over it. I probably shouldn’t skip the opportunity.

 

[littleoc]

Also, speaking of no longer having health insurance. My armpit lump is starting to hurt more, and I was ignoring it. But now that I have to cancel all my appointments, I’m SUPER convinced it’s plotting against me. ??? jk though

 

[bellbird]

I forgot to say, my therapist agreed to see me anyway and says she won’t charge me.

Seems to me like she's being understanding of your circumstances, rather than crossing of boundaries.

Maybe you could establish some boundaries in the relationship though to make you feel less nervous?

My armpit lump is starting to hurt more, and I was ignoring it.

Have you had it biopsied?

 

[littleoc]

Have you had it biopsied?

Unfortunately, no. When I went in for the acute appointment, they noted that it’s a good sign that it isn’t painless. Then the doctor tried to determine if it was an abscess or a swollen lymph node, so she sent me to radiology. Actually, the breast cancer center (which I’m familiar with cuz my mom might as well have lived there, lol). But the radiologist went and got two colleagues because despite being able to physically see it, and see there’s difference between the two armpits, it was not visible in any useful way in the picture. Fun! But it wasn’t a lymph node nor an abscess, so they told me to just keep an eye on it. They said it was probably just a developing fatty tumor.

So, hopefully it waits until I have health insurance to do anything too weird! At least, I hope it waits to hurt. It should be okay.

I did notice my weird “cancer” (it’s benign) spot on the same arm has suddenly become flat, so I do wonder if they might be related, but they probably aren’t. Since it is benign. :)