Hi every one, this is my first post on your site.
I am a male, which makes matters worse as we are seen to be less needy
I am also NOT the direct suffer off not one, but two illnesses
To top all that, I am dyslecic, which makes posting very hard, I cant seen to be able to right an interesting (possible the wrong word) enough story for people to want to reply, or people simply find me hard to follow, which makes it harder for them to help so they dont bother.
BUT I SO SO MUCH need some one to talk to.
PLEASE bear with me as my proplems are a littel hard to follow.
I first met my wife 3 and a half years ago, she had previouly been in a very phisicly abusive marrage, she had developed crones when in the relationship, but it was not diagnisoed for a while.
she got out of that relationship and meet some one else, she went the other way a bit, haveing lots of fun and not much responsability which must have seemed like so right for her at the time.
this relationship fizzeled out as she was looking for a more meaning full partner.
we meet and instantly clicked and fell in love, we are so alike its un-real, I am not a love sick puppy who want to belive that, but we simply are like two peas in a pod.
my wife had an operation for her crones before we meet, she was in good health and was 12 stone.
with in a year of us getting to geather, my wifes crones came back.
Now I know this is not a crones web site fourm, but there is a reason why I have come to be on this site, please follow for now.
since my wife got crones again, it has been a down ward struggle, she lost her job, she lost her looks, she is once more out of controll of her life like she once was with her ex husband.
guess who got the finger pointed at him for her crones??????? me :-(
when I first met my wife, she was going through a devorce, I helped and suported her through this.
her ex husband forced the sale of her home, with the loss of my wifes two jobs, my wife was finding it hard to re-pay the mortgage.
i steped in a bought the property so my wife and her two teenage sons could remain in there home.
NOW she feels that her home is lost and I have control as her ex husband did.
Things got from bad to worse, my wife used to blame me for every thing that went wrong, she could not see the part that she played in this.
things came to a head and we had a row that led my wife to leave with her two boys and move in with her sister (a sones throw away)
as she is now registered disabled, she was hoping for the councle to accomidate her.
the stress of my wife and her two boys living with her sister and the sisters three kids made my wife even iller than she was.
eventally they re housed my wife and the boys in tempery accomidation.
All through our seperation, I have been by my wifes side with her illness, and emotinal needs, we are consantly on and off in the relationship in what is a very up setting situation.
my wife is now in tempory accomidation and is getting even more ill, she is down to seven stone :-(
her boys were away for a few days so my wife desided it would be nice to spend some time with me, we had a close 5 days, but as my wife had had her car smashed, we were out car hunting a little, as well as all I have been left to deal with ment we cant always sit still.
my wife left after the five days, with a LOVELY micra, and she seemed happy, this was a sunday, on the monday, she came round and I could clearly see things had changed in her mind about as.
This has allways been the case through out our relationship, we get close, she backs offs or finds a away to cause an argument then we are distant were she seems to like being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my wife has since told me to move on. she says spending the 5 days with me has shown her that we are to differant people, and are to far apart from one and other.
she says she loves me and wants to give me the gift of freedom, so I can have the life she has taken away from me through her illness.
I KNOW that is depression talking, because like it KEEP saying to my wife, if you want to give me true freedome, I am free to do what I want, and I choose to be by your side.
she says she does not want that.
So I looked up on a search engine, pushing him away through illness and it led me to this link
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/threads/7800-Pushing-Away-Supportive-Boyfriend[/DLMURL]
it really hit hard for me reading this, this has been my wife ever since we got VERY close, makes me think?
I know my wife is depressed as she is even righting a life journal. my wife has told some close family, that she feels like she is waiting to die.
AM I clutching at straws, does my wife simply not want me anymore or is it the illness talking.
I have no one to talk to, I live amunkts her family, allthough I now live in our house allone, they have allways stuck by her dissitions, even if they are wrong, no one will step in to say, hold on, think about it.
I am so confuessed, I am now starting to think that this could be a controll issue for me, I am just not wanting to accept her dissition, and in part that is true, who want to except a marrage is over.
But I doute her dission, if she wanted to have nothing to do with me, why do we text NEAERLY every single day, more that two to four times a day???
why do we still see each other most days, why did we think about each other every single day that we are apart, that includes my wife, as she tells me so.
I am a shadow of the man I once was, I feel like a lost little boy who needs help. I cry nearly every day sometimes all day, even though its now been over 5 months since we have seperated.
I dont want to give up on my wife, i feel her illness and she needs me. Thats the my make up, I cant give up on my wife in her hour of need. we are married, in sickness and in helfh to death do us part.
My make up makes me want to up hold this.
I so need help, I have been to see my doctor, I have tried so hard, but nothing seems to have worked out for me.
my wife is getting sicker by the day, the sicker she gets, the more she pusshes me away.
I am a male, which makes matters worse as we are seen to be less needy
I am also NOT the direct suffer off not one, but two illnesses
To top all that, I am dyslecic, which makes posting very hard, I cant seen to be able to right an interesting (possible the wrong word) enough story for people to want to reply, or people simply find me hard to follow, which makes it harder for them to help so they dont bother.
BUT I SO SO MUCH need some one to talk to.
PLEASE bear with me as my proplems are a littel hard to follow.
I first met my wife 3 and a half years ago, she had previouly been in a very phisicly abusive marrage, she had developed crones when in the relationship, but it was not diagnisoed for a while.
she got out of that relationship and meet some one else, she went the other way a bit, haveing lots of fun and not much responsability which must have seemed like so right for her at the time.
this relationship fizzeled out as she was looking for a more meaning full partner.
we meet and instantly clicked and fell in love, we are so alike its un-real, I am not a love sick puppy who want to belive that, but we simply are like two peas in a pod.
my wife had an operation for her crones before we meet, she was in good health and was 12 stone.
with in a year of us getting to geather, my wifes crones came back.
Now I know this is not a crones web site fourm, but there is a reason why I have come to be on this site, please follow for now.
since my wife got crones again, it has been a down ward struggle, she lost her job, she lost her looks, she is once more out of controll of her life like she once was with her ex husband.
guess who got the finger pointed at him for her crones??????? me :-(
when I first met my wife, she was going through a devorce, I helped and suported her through this.
her ex husband forced the sale of her home, with the loss of my wifes two jobs, my wife was finding it hard to re-pay the mortgage.
i steped in a bought the property so my wife and her two teenage sons could remain in there home.
NOW she feels that her home is lost and I have control as her ex husband did.
Things got from bad to worse, my wife used to blame me for every thing that went wrong, she could not see the part that she played in this.
things came to a head and we had a row that led my wife to leave with her two boys and move in with her sister (a sones throw away)
as she is now registered disabled, she was hoping for the councle to accomidate her.
the stress of my wife and her two boys living with her sister and the sisters three kids made my wife even iller than she was.
eventally they re housed my wife and the boys in tempery accomidation.
All through our seperation, I have been by my wifes side with her illness, and emotinal needs, we are consantly on and off in the relationship in what is a very up setting situation.
my wife is now in tempory accomidation and is getting even more ill, she is down to seven stone :-(
her boys were away for a few days so my wife desided it would be nice to spend some time with me, we had a close 5 days, but as my wife had had her car smashed, we were out car hunting a little, as well as all I have been left to deal with ment we cant always sit still.
my wife left after the five days, with a LOVELY micra, and she seemed happy, this was a sunday, on the monday, she came round and I could clearly see things had changed in her mind about as.
This has allways been the case through out our relationship, we get close, she backs offs or finds a away to cause an argument then we are distant were she seems to like being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my wife has since told me to move on. she says spending the 5 days with me has shown her that we are to differant people, and are to far apart from one and other.
she says she loves me and wants to give me the gift of freedom, so I can have the life she has taken away from me through her illness.
I KNOW that is depression talking, because like it KEEP saying to my wife, if you want to give me true freedome, I am free to do what I want, and I choose to be by your side.
she says she does not want that.
So I looked up on a search engine, pushing him away through illness and it led me to this link
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/threads/7800-Pushing-Away-Supportive-Boyfriend[/DLMURL]
it really hit hard for me reading this, this has been my wife ever since we got VERY close, makes me think?
I know my wife is depressed as she is even righting a life journal. my wife has told some close family, that she feels like she is waiting to die.
AM I clutching at straws, does my wife simply not want me anymore or is it the illness talking.
I have no one to talk to, I live amunkts her family, allthough I now live in our house allone, they have allways stuck by her dissitions, even if they are wrong, no one will step in to say, hold on, think about it.
I am so confuessed, I am now starting to think that this could be a controll issue for me, I am just not wanting to accept her dissition, and in part that is true, who want to except a marrage is over.
But I doute her dission, if she wanted to have nothing to do with me, why do we text NEAERLY every single day, more that two to four times a day???
why do we still see each other most days, why did we think about each other every single day that we are apart, that includes my wife, as she tells me so.
I am a shadow of the man I once was, I feel like a lost little boy who needs help. I cry nearly every day sometimes all day, even though its now been over 5 months since we have seperated.
I dont want to give up on my wife, i feel her illness and she needs me. Thats the my make up, I cant give up on my wife in her hour of need. we are married, in sickness and in helfh to death do us part.
My make up makes me want to up hold this.
I so need help, I have been to see my doctor, I have tried so hard, but nothing seems to have worked out for me.
my wife is getting sicker by the day, the sicker she gets, the more she pusshes me away.
