Relationship Isolation and my bf

[Orchid1818]

Well I contacted him. He replied. I guess I always have a hard time understanding how he can easily isolate from me, but he goes to work, does everything else it seems....i don't know because we dont live together.

 

[OrangeJulius]

but he goes to work, does everything else it seems

Not sure how long you've been together but yes its weird at first but you'll get used to it with more time when you understand it more. Harder in some ways when you don't live together and can't see the other changes. Easier in other ways because isolation while in the same house is pretty crappy too. I have literally kissed my boyfriend goodbye and he didn't kiss back, his gaze never broke from the tv, and he didn't say anything....it was like I was a ghost.

That said....I live and work with my boyfriend (same job, different shifts that sometimes overlap). We will go from the above scenario ..... and then I'll see him at work hanging out and chit chatting with our work friends ..... then back to the above but worse when we're both back at home. Definitely weird. But then you start to see the nuances at work that are "off" too. Only noticeable if you work with him a lot. ?‍it is what it is.

 

[anon1234]

@Orchid1818 I’m glad you heard from him, even if you contacted him. What is happening with the holiday or is it too soon to say?

 

[Orchid1818]

He hasnt replied, he hasn't said no

We have been together for a year. I asked "are we ok" he said "sure". Our anniversary was today. He hasn't responded to anything else. Its hard because others say "why would you stay with him" because of these times he goes quiet.

 

[anon1234]

I understand. It is tough. I stopped talking to a lot of my friends about it.

 

[Orchid1818]

Its just really hard because I already have travel anxiety, and he isn't answering.

 

[anon1234]

I understand. When are you meant to be leaving?

 

[Orchid1818]

I have some time...April 1st. But he is out of town next week for work, so I hardly hear from him when he travels for work because he works late.

 

[anon1234]

I have some time...April 1st. But he is out of town next week for work, so I hardly hear from him when he travels for work because he works late.

And is everything already booked?

 

[Orchid1818]

Yes but he isn't loosing a lot of money, we used my miles for the car and staying for free at a house family owns, but the house will be empty

 

[anon1234]

I would say that if you’ve heard from him, that’s a good thing. Try not to jump ahead. As you say, there is time. It’s really easy for a stranger on the internet to say but I would take this evening for yourself and try and relax and do something for you. I recently have been meditating, going for walks, and taking baths whenever the stress gets to me. I completely understand and know this feeling and it really, really sucks. I’m so sorry you are going through this. As I mentioned, I am being isolated right now after a statement that they were going to go off the radar for a while and reflect. I’m trying to keep everything in perspective some things I had wanted to do a while back didn’t happen and on those days I was so, so sad. It’s ok to feel frustrated. Take each day as it comes.

 

[Orchid1818]

I guess what bothers me is before he went into isolation. I was asking about the trip he was going to work from the vacation house, so I said "well what if something comes up at work and you have to go out of town, you didn't tell work you were going on vacation" later he said "you dont trust me".......i do trust him fidelity everything. But the reality is he has canceled things more then once because he isnt up to it. Does anyone else feel their ptsd sufferer is trustworthy, you love them but they aren't totally reliable?