General Combat vet and Memorial Day. Anyone else's partner stuggling this weekend?

[StFinley]

Just that really.

My Marine vet fiancee hates Memorial Day (and also Veterans Day) and is finding it really hard this weekend. I generally know how to support him through, but I guess I could use the support of other Forces partners who know what it's like to support their loved one through tough times like this.

He is finding it difficult to sleep and using alcohol as a crutch. Sometimes I just feel so helpless.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Veterans Day/Memorial Day always suuuuuuuck... hang in there! Mine always hunkers down, and I usually just leave him alone to wallow for his AND my own sanity.

 

[StFinley]

Thank you. Does it usually last the whole weekend with you and yours?

I try and keep things as normal as possible, but there is that buzz in the air today. He knows I am here to talk about it, or not talk, whatever he needs.

 

[Never_falter2]

Welcome to the boards. I hope you had a okay weekend.

 

[StFinley]

Thank you. We are doing normal things, we have been out together for a walk in the sunshine away from all the Memorial stuff. I'm watching him work in the yard now. At least for the moment he seems OK, but it's at night it gets him the most.

 

[Never_falter2]

I see. Does he have nightmares too?
Is he on medication? My guy found that medication (an relaxing antidepressant in his case) helps him a lot for sleeping.
You said he drank in order to sleep. When mine wasn’t on antidepressant he sometimes drank because it helped him with nightmares. I am not going to recommend it but some othershere such as @LuckiLee (I think) said it helped their guys too... and maybe it isn’t that bad... of course only if done responsibly... well not sure... I am not a medical doctor and not very smart. I hope someone smarter than me comments on this. I mean self medicating is never good but struggling with nightmares and being unable to forget about them isn’t good too, is it?

Drinking and medication however do not mix well. Can even be deadly.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He’ll usually get pissy a week or so out, then it will take about that long to settle back down... although Veterans Day usually kicks off the Holiday Funk that lasts through New Years.

 

[anon1234]

Thank you. Does it usually last the whole weekend with you and yours?

It lasts about a month before and after. Survivor guilt and too many flashbacks.

 

[Friday]

:hilarious::roflmao::hilarious:

My week suddenly makes so much more sense.

I’d forgotten it was Memorial Day until this morning.

I have decided on an... interesting... number of things this week. Totally randomly. For no reason whatsoever. Just spur of the moment. Completely unrelated to anything else... because I’m FINE. Really. Completely and totally fine. :rolleyes: Cha. Like I said. This week suddenly makes much more sense.

Sigh. I’m probably going to need to make a list of apologies. Or not. Will take stock next week.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Yep... mine hides until people stop thanking him for his service... on Memorial Day. He used to try and explain the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day, but now he just hides ?

 

[StFinley]

He does have nightmares @Never_falter2 and he isn't on any medication at the moment except painkillers for his back, hips and knees. I have suggested it but it is affording medical care that is an issue right now as we are going through some changes and money is tight (something else which doesn't help the stress). Alcohol helps him relax and think clearly, and inevitably helps him sleep too, but not always without the nightmares.

@Sweetpea76 for my fiance it comes on about a day or two before the weekend starts. I think the buildup, seeing the tributes and flags everywhere and generally does it. Once it goes away it takes him a while to adjust again too. Usually a week or two. That's another thing. He absolutely hates being thanked or talking about it. He doesn't advertise his involvement in the military at all.

It is the same for him @anon1234

@Friday Be kind to yourself this weekend. I hope those around you can be understanding

 

[anon1234]

He absolutely hates being thanked or talking about it. He doesn't advertise his involvement in the military at all.

Absolutely the same. We are having a bad patch right now, a treatment set back followed by Memorial Day. Goody goody. Timing could not have been worse to be honest. It’s been isolation central around here.