EMDR and Dissociation

[FrckldGngr]

I have recently reached the baseline stability needed to begin EMDR. I have only had one session, but when I began talking about disturbing experiences I automatically dissociated. My T noticed and said that if I feel like I need to cry to just let it go and that what we were discussing/what I had experienced warrants crying. The problem I have is, once I initially flipped the switch I couldn't get back to feeling. I tried. I kept reassuring myself that I could... but.. nothing. Is this normal? Am I a bad candidate for EMDR? How do I convince my brain to release the need to control and just let it happen?

 

[unbrokenwarrior]

I dont have any suggestions but just wanted to say that I'm in this situation too, and my T said this to me last week. I never let myself cry, sometimes at home it can happen and I cant stop it but in therapy I do get upset but I automatically start shutting it down.

 

[grit]

You are here today because you have an amazing ability to survive so that alone says a lot. You will cry when every fabric of your being feels safe and in harmony. The fact you have safe space to explore is good. Be compassionate and soothe yourself until. Even talking about this in this manner is healing. Sometimes love heals internally and we may not need to cry but accept as we are.

 

[FrckldGngr]

You are here today because you have an amazing ability to survive so that alone says a lot. You will cry when every fabric of your being feels safe and in harmony. The fact you have safe space to explore is good. Be compassionate and soothe yourself until. Even talking about this in this manner is healing. Sometimes love heals internally and we may not need to cry but accept as we are.

Thank you for the kind encouragement.

I dont have any suggestions but just wanted to say that I'm in this situation too, and my T said this to me last week. I never let myself cry, sometimes at home it can happen and I cant stop it but in therapy I do get upset but I automatically start shutting it down.

I will keep an eye out for future posts if you'd like to share how your experience goes. I will do my best to do the same. Good luck to you!

 

[Wendell_R]

How do I convince my brain to release the need to control and just let it happen?

My EMDR therapist doesn't just dive into talking about trauma X. She says that she's found it useful to look at what's stressful/on my mind when I walk into the office, and then find an association to the past. That helps me start with something that's emotional and accessible.

I had trouble starting EMDR because the EMDR apparatus brought bad memories and I was afraid of it. So when we started, we did a lot of work with making safe spaces and bringing in safe & supportive people. That sense of safety makes it easier, I think, for me to trust myself and my therapist with big emotions.

I would be easy on yourself. It's a big step to let the emotions out at once.

 

[Skywatcher]

@Wendell_R , sometimes I think of you as my “trauma therapy twin.” I had the same experience with my emdr. Lately, we will be talking about something present and out of the corner of my eye, I see her cleaning the trauma buzzers and handing them to me. We’ll do one set, and then ground. My T has really started to figure out what I can handle and it has made a huge difference in my ability to function between sessions.

 

[Wendell_R]

My T has really started to figure out what I can handle and it has made a huge difference in my ability to function between sessions.

I think figuring out this "window of tolerance" is really important! It can be the during the session, where we can get too emotional or we can just shut down, or it can be our response in the days afterward. I had forgotten how frightening the buzzers were for me at the start, but now my tolerance & acceptance is a lot higher.

 

[hithere]

I have no advice but I do this in therapy sessions a lot when I was doing therapy. It would switch inside me-and forget it-I would just feel like I needed to keep my dignity or something. Not sure why. I never got over that with the therapist.

 

[Rumors]

Yes, I do this too. I find myself trying to escape the feelings that go along with what we are working on. Tough stuff. Good luck. I don't have advice other than to say keep communicating with your therapist.