PTSD plus criminal conviction - no help

[The Albatross]

Consequences are a bitch. Agree with Scout generally. Snaps things into focus, huh. Your "problem is" portion of the opening post is a really big problem for both of you. What was the issue with being open, honest or candid?

 

[Muttly]

I get how frightening it is, but you need to talk to your partner. As you said, the Visa creates a deadline. The longer you keep the secret the bigger it's going to get. Be honest with your partner. Try to explain you didn't share, because of your own fears, not because of lack of trust in your partner.

As others have said, take it one step at a time. Things can seem huge but bit by bit, insurmountable problems can be overcome.

 

[Survivor3]

I have a criminal conviction. I tried to commit suicide with a knife in my parents house. Because a fight broke out with my father I was still holding the knife and as the police were called was convicted of attempted murder. Not a good situation by any means. Stay strong and do the best that you can S3.

I wasn't actually convicted of attempted murder. It went down to a lesser charge.

 

[Billym]

If you haven't, you should probably discuss this with an a attorney who knows US immigration law. Honestly, you should probably discuss it with your partner too. My personal experience has been that I worry about what people I care about are going to think and how they're going to react a LOT. When I finally have the conversation, it usually goes WAY better than I imagined and it's a huge relief to have had it. In the rare event that it goes badly, that's usually because it wasn't a relationship that was all that good in the first place.

Thanks Scout86. I did speak with a US attorney a few years ago. He advised I try to get my sentence reduced to less than 12 months, otherwise, he did not think I`d get in.
I know I need to tell my partner but I just can`t seem to find the courage. I always see the worst scenario in my mind. I just think she may say I`ve wasted her time with me etc.

I get how frightening it is, but you need to talk to your partner. As you said, the Visa creates a deadline. The longer you keep the secret the bigger it's going to get. Be honest with your partner. Try to explain you didn't share, because of your own fears, not because of lack of trust in your partner.

As others have said, take it one step at a time. Things can seem huge but bit by bit, insurmountable problems can be overcome.

Thanks Muttly. I`ll need to find the right time soon but I do keep putting it off hoping something may change and she drops the idea of going, although I know that's not going to happen.

 

[Billym]

Consequences are a bitch. Agree with Scout generally. Snaps things into focus, huh. Your "problem is" portion of the opening post is a really big problem for both of you. What was the issue with being open, honest or candid?

My past is something I wanted to forget about if possible. I feel ashamed of everything that has happened to me and think people will label me as bad, thats just the way my mind is.

 

[Survivor3]

My past is something I wanted to forget about if possible. I feel ashamed of everything that has happened to me and think people will label me as bad, thats just the way my mind is.

I understand what you mean about people labelling you as bad. There are many things I would like to forget about my past because they happened when I was really unwell. Also I've only ever had one thing go wrong with the police. It's really difficult that people won't understand or give you a chance.
can I ask are you in the UK now? If you are then have you been to the citizens advice bureau?

 

[Billym]

I understand what you mean about people labelling you as bad. There are many things I would like to forget about my past because they happened when I was really unwell. Also I've only ever had one thing go wrong with the police. It's really difficult that people won't understand or give you a chance.
can I ask are you in the UK now? If you are then have you been to the citizens advice bureau?

Yes I`m in the UK. The Citizens Advice said they had no one who could advise or help. I`ve drawn a blank everywhere I`ve looked for help or advice. I get pointed elsewhere, then they can`t help. It is a never ending circle, passed from pillar to post.

Sorry to hear you had a run in with the police and the other stuff you`d like to move on from. Many won`t give you that chance, regardless of the good you have done which will probably far outweigh the few negative things.

 

[Billym]

Has anyone been in a similar situation where they had to tell their partner about their past (problems)? If so, how did you bring it up?

 

[Ronin]

how did you bring it up?

Just like that, say what is current thing we are on & that its a lot more to me than Ive been telling them, along with apologies for not telling them sooner or the kind of, I understand if this is a deal breaker but wanted you to know.

 

[Billym]

Thanks Ronin. I`m dreading it.

 

[scout86]

Just know that there are people here pulling for you, hoping it goes it.