Theasylumsystem
Confident
I know that in the end... Relationships aren't everything. They don't mean that I am less or more of a person, but man am I tired.
I feel like I've tried everything and I still attract the worst kinds of people or the good people that I do attract I end up being too much for. I'm so tired of being unloveable. I find myself completely alone, yet again. I have no idea what a good relationship or friendship is supposed to look like. Honestly, I have no idea. I've never had a relationship where I haven't had to give up parts of myself or pretend to be someone else entirely.
I'm not good with people and yet, I have this need to be needed. I want to feel like someone wants me around, but in truth, I know that I'm too much for anyone to deal with long-term. It's depressing. I hate having this need to be accepted and to feel loved even if it's entirely false. If someone shows me a modicum of kindness a single time I latch onto it. I hesitate to set boundaries because in the past it has severed relationships entirely.
I feel like it all boils down to me. I know that I'm not easy to be around. I know that the cycle of isolation and depression is annoying. I just... I guess I'm not worth it to stick around. I wanna be positive, but my good days are few and far between and it's only getting worse. I'm tired of being so lonely.
I feel like I've tried everything and I still attract the worst kinds of people or the good people that I do attract I end up being too much for. I'm so tired of being unloveable. I find myself completely alone, yet again. I have no idea what a good relationship or friendship is supposed to look like. Honestly, I have no idea. I've never had a relationship where I haven't had to give up parts of myself or pretend to be someone else entirely.
I'm not good with people and yet, I have this need to be needed. I want to feel like someone wants me around, but in truth, I know that I'm too much for anyone to deal with long-term. It's depressing. I hate having this need to be accepted and to feel loved even if it's entirely false. If someone shows me a modicum of kindness a single time I latch onto it. I hesitate to set boundaries because in the past it has severed relationships entirely.
I feel like it all boils down to me. I know that I'm not easy to be around. I know that the cycle of isolation and depression is annoying. I just... I guess I'm not worth it to stick around. I wanna be positive, but my good days are few and far between and it's only getting worse. I'm tired of being so lonely.