DentedCan 2.0
Learning
After learning what IT is, I’ve learned not to take it personally.
I know when he’s quiet, distant and just needs to go to bed, it’s not me.
I know when he cancels last minute, doesn’t make plans or keep plans, it’s not me.
I know when we argue and he shuts down completely and refuses to fight in the moment, it’s not me.
I know when he goes to bed at 8 o’clock and I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, it’s not me.
I know when he is irrational and has moments of explosive anger, it’s not me.
I know when I’m upset and having a hard time dealing with being a supporter and he can’t really support me back the same way I do him, it’s not me.
I’m not taking it personally like I was. I try to work through it on my own most times as to not add more stress to his cup but It’s really f*#king hard some days.
Most days even through him being symptomatic are great. Our relationship has really flourished in the way of communication and understanding. Some days I find so hard and wonder how I can keep doing it.
Today is one of those days….we’re fighting and I want to dive in and he retracts. I know it’s not me. I know he can’t handle the stress, the push for heavy conversation and the idea that he’s disappointing me. I know when we fight (even if it’s small to me) it effects him so negatively it’ll be days until he’s right again.
I know all of these things yet I haven’t learned how NOT to be impacted by them.
I know when he’s quiet, distant and just needs to go to bed, it’s not me.
I know when he cancels last minute, doesn’t make plans or keep plans, it’s not me.
I know when we argue and he shuts down completely and refuses to fight in the moment, it’s not me.
I know when he goes to bed at 8 o’clock and I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, it’s not me.
I know when he is irrational and has moments of explosive anger, it’s not me.
I know when I’m upset and having a hard time dealing with being a supporter and he can’t really support me back the same way I do him, it’s not me.
I’m not taking it personally like I was. I try to work through it on my own most times as to not add more stress to his cup but It’s really f*#king hard some days.
Most days even through him being symptomatic are great. Our relationship has really flourished in the way of communication and understanding. Some days I find so hard and wonder how I can keep doing it.
Today is one of those days….we’re fighting and I want to dive in and he retracts. I know it’s not me. I know he can’t handle the stress, the push for heavy conversation and the idea that he’s disappointing me. I know when we fight (even if it’s small to me) it effects him so negatively it’ll be days until he’s right again.
I know all of these things yet I haven’t learned how NOT to be impacted by them.