How Does Ptsd Effect Other Emotional Reactions?

[Elphaba]

I wonder if anyone has any experience around this? My grandfather, with whom I was very close, recently died, and I don't seem to be able to mourn, to react, or to do anything at all.

I wonder if it could be that the way my brain just "blocked" out the trauma that caused the ptsd nearly six years ago, could do something similar again now? Or it could have affected my ability to process it somehow?

Have anyone got any similar experience?

 

[Spero3]

Elphaba,

I was very close to my grandfather. We called him Grumps, and I had a very special relationship with him. He was the one person who made me feel that I was loved and important. He died when I was in college. I cried when I first found out, but then I went numb. I refused to go to his funeral, partly because my grandmother was catholic and was having an open casket and I didn't want to see him that way. But, I also think I just couldn't face that he was gone. I cut off my emotions. I also do that with people who hurt me. I just cut them off and go numb. I think what you are experiencing is very normal.

Spero

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I just think a lot of pain reminds one of times past when there was the same. The numbness occurs sometimes when it's too much to feel (and face and process perhaps).

 

[Lionheart]

I wonder if anyone has any experience around this? My grandfather, with whom I was very close, recently died, and I don't seem to be able to mourn, to react, or to do anything at all.
Have anyone got any similar experience?

I went through a period of time when I just could not for the life of me, feel anything for anyone else, because I was so deeply overwhelmed with my own pain and misery. My mind could just not handle any feelings other than my own, at that time.

Also there is a point in the grieving process where we go emotionally numb for awhile and I think this is considerd to be a part of the 'shock' of losing a loved one. There are also mixed feelings sometimes where we are relieved that the person is gone and no longer suffering and yet we miss them terribly.

I don't think any of this is permanent though and we all grieve in our own way.

 

[Reclusive]

I know it's not the same, but I've recently been through some rough patches in life (having to move a lot, almost being homeless a couple times (which would be fine, but what about the cats?)) and I know at one point I was pretty much completely numb. I didn't feel anything about anything, my only function was to earn money, I spent all my waking hours doing that and that was it. For all intents and purposes I was a robot.

The brain and the emotions do overload and when they get to be too much you just kind of go numb. As you heal and that pain level comes down, you'll eventually be able to feel it and that'll be awful, but it's part of healing.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Elphaba,

What you are experiencing doesn't sound all that unusual. When my father died I was numb and it was a few months later that I started the grieving process. It seemed to come out in little bits and pieces over time. I don't know if it was PTSD related or just how I grieve.

I guess what I am trying to say is there are no "rules" for grief, just stages that are as individual as we are. It is hard to lose someone you love, but don't let it be more painful by questioning your own emotions or behavior.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi Elphaba,

I do this a lot, not just in situations where I am grieving death but really any loss. I just become totally numb to it. I am trying to cope now with remembering that though my fiance is around the world, he is still alive, and it is okay to have feelings over the fact that he will be gone so many months. Much less intense situation, but I have the same reaction. I have done this with death, too. In fact, I feel like every death near to me that I have gone through is just waiting in a closet for me to reinstall my emotional system. >.<

 

[OKRADLAK]

Hi Elph. I am all mixed up, When I should cry I laugh and when something pleasant happens, I get very distressed and have nightmares.

If it is wholly good, like if I won the lottery, yes I would be happy and if it were wholly bad, like if my house were destroyed then I would feel bad.

However, the normal day to day things..........I respond opposite. Bad feelings are normal, I guess I am trying to say. Good ones make me feel sad, irritated, depressed, and panicky.

 

[Elphaba]

I guess my reactions might not be that far off, then. I carried his coffin. I held a memorial speech for him in church. Made sure there were enough coffee to go around at the memorial gathering afterwards. Helped clean up. Went home. And today I miss him so much its unbearable.

 

[Tinyflame]

He'd be so proud of you Elphaba, -thru all of it, everything you've done and even when it feels unbearable.
((((((((Elphaba))))))))
xox