I think the opposite actually mate. Your right, "he" fu*ked up your life, not his family. Maybe, just maybe, seeing his wife and talking with her might just open that big emotional valve mate, so your system can just get it all out of you, break, cry, but its out and no longer sitting in anger.
Regardless of that mate, I think I can help you with your anger. You see, anger was was one my biggest problems also, and the way I found to heal that was actually from a trauma expert. You have most likely seen [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread12.html[/DLMURL] already, and that is a very accurate depiction of our internal selves. Basically, once we find the emotions we feel, we put words to them, we can then tackle each one individually in order to cease feeding the emotional response of anger.
When you look at the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/attachments/forum14/53d1157260574-emotions.pdf"]list of emotions[/DLMURL] (.pdf printable one page), and you find the corresponding emotions that we feel, you then take each one and deal with it, one at a time, baby steps, but it works. I had years of anger within me, and when I actually realised what was feeding it, it took me very little time in order to heal knowing what I really felt.
I know it sounds touchy feely, but it works. Women do this genetically, something we males can take a leaf from their book.