black_dove
New Here
I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow. I always lock the doors multiple times. I don't have a gun, but my brother - who went through some of the very same traumatic things I did - just got his own apartment by himself. I visited and he has 3 guns! A shotgun, a .22, and rifle that belonged to my grandfather in WW2, that has bullets and is half-loaded. Needless to say I was stunned at all of this and asked why he felt the need to have so many guns in his tiny studio apartment (that is not in a bad area, and is secure entry). His response was that if someone were to come in, he'd be protected. And then he said he used to have recurring nightmares all through childhood and adolescence that someone was breaking in to the house. (None of that ever happened, nor has he ever been exposed to a break-in). After all I have been through and knowing he saw/went through the same things, and knowing what I know now about PTSD, it makes a lot of sense...but I was so sad to see that he feels that frightened and that keyed up....It made what we both went through a bit more 'real'...if that makes sense.