Unsure

[inner-peace]

I have been diagnosed with (c)PTSD. I have a few happy scattered early childhood memories but none of specific abusive incidents - only a hazy awareness. If the abuse occured as early as we suspect, then would I have any memory from those years..good or bad? I'm very vulnerable right now and guess I'm just struggling with what may or may not be correct and what I want to believe.

 

[Kim]

I suffer from Complex Trauma as well. The thing with Complex Trauma is that what we experience doesn't have to be actual physical abuse. In my case it was caused by verbal emotional abuse and emotional neglect. When my PTSD is triggered what I experience is like a recording of my mother's voice repeating over and over again all the hateful things she used to say to me. It fills my head until I can't think straight or concentrate. When this happens my thoughts are not my own. It effects everything I think, say and do when this is going on. I have very few actual memories of my childhood as well.

Complex Trauma can also be caused by repeated physical abuse and neglect as well but it doesn't have to be. It's the relentlessness of the repeated trauma that causes Complex Trauma.

 

[cherryblossom]

If the abuse occured as early as we suspect,

Just wondering what age you were, when you suspect the abuse occurred?

 

[inner-peace]

Hard to specify an age due to it always being present throughout entire childhood, so I never recognized it as being abuse until a young adult struggling with various other issues. Certainly emotional, and possible physical abuse also.