Kp The Nut Is Home Safe

[ISupportHer]

Glad you are back. We missed you.

ISH

 

[amethist]

We have all missed you KP.

It has been sooooooooooooooo quite round here. :roflmao: Yea we have missed you, it has been toooooooo quiet.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((KP))))))

 

[bittersweet]

Welcome back!!! *hugs*

 

[KP the nut]

Thank you all so much, what a wonderful welcome home.

I am proud of how I managed my symptoms whilst away. I did however, resort to diazepam on a few occassions and once or twice when I tried to manage without, H would say 'take a tablet' ;). I took meds mainly on days when we had a lot of driving or a busy day. I also made time to lie quietly and do grounding techniques and the relaxation exercise T recorded for me.

The first week was lovely. We stayed in the same gite last year so I knew what I was going to. The couple who own it are English and are v friendly. I spent a lot of time on the swing seat in their garden looking at the view. That view was/is my happy/safe place which even though T has ended I still use.

It is so quiet there, as it gets dark the only sound is the bats flapping their wings as they fly past. We had some clear nights and it was wonderful to sit and watch the stars come out. We had a couple of days out, including a trip on the river and a visit to a local market.



It was sad to leave at the end of the first week. The second week was more stressful. I was going somewhere unfamiliar and we arrived after a very hot journey to be told the pool was out of action. The gite itself was nice and thank goodness it had a large covered veranda (we did have a bit of rain).

Again we had some nice days out. We visited a chateau which was built over an underground chateau. I chickened out of doing the underground part as I was told it was narrow and claustrophobic.



One of my favourite days was to Samur. We went around the town on a horse drawn carriage and then we went on another boat trip.



During the second week, I started to feel very anxious. I felt as if I had the 'mask' in place and was acting a part. I was counting the days until we could come home and I felt so guilty for feeling like that. The weather was also turning and we had some rally serious thunder storms, the rain rattled the windows like machine gun fire (or what I think machine gun fire would sound like).

I am pleased we went, it was good to be away. We had some wonderful meals and drank too much local wine - well it would be rude not to.

So I did it, for the most part I enjoyed it very much BUT I now know my limitations. At present I think I need to spend time in familiar surroundings and there is nothing wrong with that. I was very unconfident, in previous years I would happily gabble the odd french word and practise my awful accent. This year I seemed to be struck dumb. In unfamiliar places and that was mostly everywhere I felt such panic. I couldn't catch my breath to do breathing exercises. One awful one I thought I would pass out, I felt like a fish out of water gasping for air. I try to be kind to myself and tell myself it is OK to feel that way BUT where is the old confident me.

(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[intothelight]

(((KP))),

You are more than OK, you did a fantastic job. Remember it wasn't even a year ago that driving to an appointment would make you feel panicky. Now look at you, traveling and going to places you have never been. Such huge progress and such and inspiration. The confidence is on the way back; just give yourself time.

Deb

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Hi KP, glad you're home safe. Nice to see your photos too. Well done missy!! :D

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. It's lovely to have you back.

Great pictures - thanks for sharing those. It sounds like you did an awesome job of taking care of you, whilst away. :D

 

[KP the nut]

It sounds like you did an awesome job of taking care of you, whilst away. :D

Thanks CB. I feel like a comment in a school report - can do better!

 

[CraftyCath]

fantastic pics KP. Don't be so hard on yourself girl! The 'confident you' is still there, she just needs time to emerge from hiding LOL.

and drank too much local wine - well it would be rude not to.

Yes it would be and had I been there I would have done the same! Hope you brought some duty free home. If I ever get over to yours I'll share a glass (or 2) with you!!!!