Question For Sufferers About Your Home "safe Space"

[Ronin]

I don't quite know how I'm with 'home's', these days.

Home is where people I love about as much as my life are. & then other category of home is wherever I trust other people near me, for a variety of reasons.

People don't get to be in either of those without an invite and/or reasonabley good excuse.

That said though, I prefer to be mobile for a sense of 'home', still the most. All of this place-bound nonsense only gets me so far, & doesn't work once I hit the deep end.

So yep. Understanding having a lot of boundary rules & downright issues about this.

 

[Wastinglight]

My (now ex) bf would give a resounding Yes to the first two questions, and a Maybe to the last.

 

[Ocean5]

1) Live alone, and consider it safe space. I don't even want maintenance in my apartment if I'm not there. Why I just deal with things breaking.... unless something major like air conditioning during summer.

2) Hard question. Would really depend on person, relationship, and length of relationship. But it would take a lot of getting use to at first.

Maybe just send him an open ended email --- Thanking Him, and acknowledging this is probably really hard for him to do. Give him a way to respond in his own time...if he wants. But it opens up an opportunity for him to talk... even if just to thank you for acknowledging.

 

[Jnean]

it took me a long time to find what my safe place was and then I just recently realized that it was my home. For the first time ever in my life, my home is the safest place that I could be.

 

[Mit]

My home is no longer a safe place. It's where some of the worse moments of my life occurred. I often park up at a very remote spot over looking the sea on my way home from work. At this time of year it's always deserted, and pitch black. I lay on the back seat in the blackness and listen to the wind, rain and waves. I feel safer there than anywhere else. It's a small space and I feel I'm in control, because nobody can see me and no one knows I'm there. Nothing can happen, unless I want it to. Home is agony.

 

[katz]

Sadly, I'm still looking for my "safe place". When I was young, I can remember climbing "my" tree. I could climb all the way up where no one could get to me. Then as I got older, I could just leave and go for a walk. When I was old enough, I would just go sit in the car.
Now, I own my own home, yet, I don't feel safe in it. My "T' is trying to have me create a safe place within my mind. She has been asking me to describe the room and what I would have in it.

Has anyone ever felt "safer" sitting on the floor? I guess that I did/do feel more comfortable there. I don't know why. When I realized it, I started thinking about growing up. I have memories of sitting on the floor in every single room or space at the house where I grew up. Kinda weird, huh?

 

[Gadgie]

The only place where I feel safe, is in my car. Especially if I'm driving at night, on a remote road miles from anywhere, on a dark lonely stormy night.

It's just me and the car against all the elements, I'm relying on the car, to get where I'm going, and it's relying on me to keep it on the road, and not down many of the steep cliffs.

The road in question is the A9 which makes it way through, and over the highlands of Scotland. It's a remote and lonely road, especially in the middle of the pitch dark nights, which makes a spooky silent dangerous place to be.

I've driven that road many times over the years, and mostly through the nights, driving home for weekends, and back down again, over night, to start work early on the Monday morning.

It's a lot different these days, it's safer, busier, and less desolate, but I still liked driving it, like it was in the old days, one hundred miles of pure adrenalin!

 

[Cavegirl]

I always felt safest locked in the bathroom. I'd bring books and toys in there to play with.

Now my safe space is my bed. I have very fuzzy plush sheets and blankets.

 

[Ronin]

Sadly, I'm still looking for my "safe place". When I was young, I can remember climbing "my" tree.

And this. I've got a shrine in the nature, out there. It's a shelter enough & it's Mine. *

* (shared with animals that felt it's the best spot to shit in, but man can't have everything they want.)

Floors: Yes. Unless I'm in the air (which is about the safest-place feeling for me), the more I can hit the ground, the better.

 

[halflifeguy]

Interesting questions, these really made me think and learn. Probably because of the early neglect...

My safe place is being alone/on my own, even when I'm out of my home.

I don't think I have any sense of attachment to homes/houses, or places at all.

I do love to 'nest' especially wrapped up warm in blankets.

 

[katz]

I can see now why I'm having such a hard time finding a place. I have such a variety of "places" and situations" from my past. In the shower, in bed (even with the covers over me), out on the road at night-even in a car, walking in the dark--all of these bring me terror, from the past. I have an especially terrible time in the summer when it rains, especially in the night or evening.

 

[Powder]

I don't think for me this is a simple answer. I have previously agreed to go stay in a space with a stranger, invited people over, invited someone to house sit while I was away for a week, and agreed to put my house up for sale and a lock box for realtors...only to find that when the time to do these things approached, I was gripped with a sudden panic and could not carry out my own plans.

These plans are comfortable sometimes, but I cannot predict when or how PTSD will happen right when I need it to NOT happen. Unexpectedly, there are times when I feel unable to handle things that previously worked out fine for everyone involved.

I have child-onset, or complex, PTSD and possibly related dissociation disorders, so this might explain this, or maybe just plain old PTSD can cause this. I don't know.

I don't think everyone with PTSD is the same, and this depends so largly on so many factors for that individual that nothing we say will predict anything. It could go great, or it could possibly not go well.