How Do You Explain It To People?

[docochoa]

Is there any way you could see a therapist of some sort and have him/her talk to your advisor?

<Full post quotes are not necessary. Thanks Amethist>

 

[simplekindofgirl]

It is always a balancing act, isn't it? First you want to be tough, brave, handling all of your symptoms while still engaging in the tasks that help us to grow. And our symptoms grow on some days and hinder us, keeping us from being able to perform to our fullest ability. Explaining it is can be more difficult. Facing it, saying it, sharing it- we were once vulnerable and we wound up with PTSD, sharing that fact opens us up to that vulnerability- but while we are already down. And of course the inevitable self doubt that comes after the discussion.

Good for you for bringing it forward and addressing it. The only way to find happiness is to put yourself in a situation that makes your life better- and you are doing that. Good for you!!!! ((((hugs)))

 

[mamachick]

I agree with all of the above. I think the approach depends on what is most comfortable for you and as rain said, you can chose the amount of information to disclose. For myself, I often do better writing it in a letter with a request to follow up with a meeting to discuss, particularly in situations where I want to be very clear yet not say more than I intended.

Im not sure if others here feel this way and it is part of ptsd-but just as you said, you told her you were depressed but your demeanor was not convicing, I have also been caught off guard and said more, or not predicted the reaction or questions and been very unprepared. Often I cannot separate what is ptsd and what is tbi, but writing works best for me.

Maelstrom, I am sorry you are struggling with this during this time of education, that must be very difficult. I was fortunate to have a very clear mind during college and able to juggle well. Maybe the up side of this is that you are dealing with it during your time at the university and professors may be more understanding than bosses once in the workforce. Those of you who work while going through the worst of it-I just dont know how you do it, but admire you.

 

[reallydown]

I always prefer writing too...and in some cases, I was able to email the prof first...But, when I did end up going in person, I would mumble something very quickly and show them the note...Granted, I also do the "selective mutism" thing so...even when I wanted to elaborate (in a couple of cases), I couldn't...It just wouldn't come out.

And our symptoms grow on some days and hinder us, keeping us from being able to perform to our fullest ability.

Yes! Thank you for articulating that! I struggled a lot but I managed to get decent grades so it seemed like I was doing ok when, in reality, it was less than what I'm capable of. That's what kills me...Theoretically, I should be in grad school now....OOOOps.

 

[mamachick]

reallydown-never too late

 

[maelstrom]

reallydown: i agree with brat17, it's never too late!

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I contacted the student disability services at my school. I didn't think that my disability would count, I never thought my own mental problems would...but they do. I even read the American's With Disability's Act, pretty sure I am covered there too. I have PTSD, Bipolar Disorder and awful social anxiety.

They help students who have physical, mental, emotional and learning disability. Talk to them just before start of semester or right at the begin. They would help you in some way or another. I think they are doing relaxed absents for me and something else. Not sure yet. You will have to take documentation with you. Strong documentation, because as my psychiatrist said..."Its easy for people to go to the doctor and say I have anxiety so that's why I've been skipping school", so you want strong documentation of how its more then 'just' anxiety...or my-boyfriend-broke-up-with-me depression.Make sense?

 

[markymark]

It is always a balancing act, isn't it? First you want to be tough, brave, handling all of your symptoms while still engaging in the tasks that help us to grow. And our symptoms grow on some days and hinder us, keeping us from being able to perform to our fullest ability. Explaining it is can be more difficult. Facing it, saying it, sharing it- we were once vulnerable and we wound up with PTSD, sharing that fact opens us up to that vulnerability- but while we are already down. And of course the inevitable self doubt that comes after the discussion.

Good for you for bringing it forward and addressing it. The only way to find happiness is to put yourself in a situation that makes your life better- and you are doing that. Good for you!!!! ((((hugs)))

 

[markymark]

Very good analogy. We do want to be tough. But there comes a time when you no longer have the ability to fake it. I've gotten real good and creative ways of faking it so not to draw attention to myself and to keep myself from getting fired from my job. If my superiors could observe me all day, I would lose my job.

There's no way of faking your way to sanity. I moved my family 21 timesmin as many years put f paranoia my attacked would find me find me. Silly. Just didn't know.

However I feel I have no choice now not to heal. Tired of the fake front I devise when all I really want to do is jump out of my skin.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

I've gotten real good and creative ways of faking it so not to draw attention to myself and to keep myself from getting fired from my job. If my superiors could observe me all day, I would lose my job.

There's no way of faking your way to sanity. I moved my family 21 timesmin as many years put f paranoia my attacked would find me find me. Silly. Just didn't know.

Markymark- That sums me up too, even though your post was what caused me to think of it as anything but 'what I do'. I am an expert at putting on the happy face- the world is a stage.

In my adult life, I have never stayed in one place. The longest I have lived in one place is where I am now, 2 years, 3 months. And I have been antsy and eager to move for the past year or more. I just have not acted on it since the costs here are typically much more expensive to move than in the states. Long story, but it can be incredibly expensive because a rather large amount of money usually needs to be invested into a home when you move into it while doing so here. But, it is a start at being "grounded".

 

[Truckinjoan]

I move around alot too. Totally uncomfortable staying in one place, feels like my a** is on fire!

 

[markymark]

I too have just hit the 2 year mark in one place. I really think I would have been gone if I didn't get into therapy this year. But still, it's like a compulsion or urge I feel every day to hide or make moves so the demons that haunt me won't find me.

Most people look at that and judge me on the surface. But what they don't know is this is a way that keeps me from jumping off a bridge. It feels like I'm always being stalked by my attacker.

I'm allways up at about 2 am each and every morning patrolling the house. I allways have a hidden bag packedmin the event I need get out. These are my 2 biggest goals in healing. Getting over this parania of 20 years, and learning to ne comfortable in one spot.

A home is supposed to be a place of refuge, but for me it's simply "base camp".