Omg- Sexist Psychiatrist

[bethinhfx]

I am here trying very hard not to hurt myself- feel very agitated and emotionally disturbed. Saw a psychiatrist today to review the possibility of going to treatment. It was a bad dream. He was dismissive, minimizing, insulting; used my personal info to embarrass me, to make me sound pathetic. I was like, I am in a bad dream. How can anyone be this insensitive?

This sexist. His last words before I called him sexist and gathered my stuff together, was that " It would be a bad investment for taxpayers to pay $40,000 for me to go to treatment" He said it twice for good measure. A bad investment, after I told him I tried to kill myself, that I was hitting myself, that I went into shock over sexual abuse memories.

He was denigrating. I am an accomplished human being; extremely smart and educated. I have had a professional career, am an athlete, an artist; full of accomplishment and he reduced me ( tried to) into a " mental health consumer; someone not in control of their emotions; someone going from crisis to crisis" in a matter of minutes I was reduced. TERRIFYING. It's f*cking terrifying whats happening out there. I have some ISSUES- I didn't sexually abuse myself. Angry, HELL YES, I AM f*ckING ANGRY.

Right now, I am agitated; I am distressed that I am running into so many walls; sad that I am being treated this way as a woman; and pretty hurt to be honest.

I need some encouragement; maybe some of your personal horror stories. I have been trying to get help since March 1 when I went into shock and there is no help. What's really scary is that he informed me that he is the maritime expert in sexual abuse- scary shit, man!

Thanks.

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Sorry this happened to you. I just wrote a post last night telling my horror story of my first experience with a Pdoc. They can be real assholes.

I think a proper therapist can evaluate you for the purpose you mentioned. You don't need a pdoc for that. Mostly pdocs' are good for working with your T to prescribe the correct meds etc.. But typically, therapists can recommend treatment centers, evaluate your condition and address your concerns about treatment. If they feel a pdoc needs to be involved they might have you contact one that they know.

I feel that's a better way to get a pdoc involved. Then you've got your middle man which is your therapist. It's like a cushion between you and the pdoc.

Any pdoc at his whim, has the authority to order the police to show up at your residents unannounced, handcuff you and cart you off to a hospital or treatment center of their choice, all without your consent or knowledge. That's why I think people should be very careful about selecting a pdoc.

The above is something I witnesses first hand by somebody that came into the inpatient treatment center while I was there. The guy was regular person seeking help. And he was really caught off guard. Had kids at home, the neighbors all witnessed him hauled off by the police. He was horrified. I would say what ever problems he had initially were most definitely compounded by that experience.

I wouldn't fall for the maritime expert routine he's probably told everyone that walks through the door. Don't go back, and fine somebody else!

Sorry this happened to you!

Solo

 

[bethinhfx]

@ Solo: Thank you. Unfortunately, in Nova Scotia, right now, you need to be referred by a psychiatrist. What a f*cking asshole. Its funny or sad how we internalize it. I want to hurt myself, and instead of being compassionate he actually used my info to humiliate me and you know, I am not letting him get away with it. He picked on the wrong woman. I am already penning the latter to the NS College of Physicians and Surgeons. Its unbelievable that he spoke to me that way- it was a great reduction of me within a 2 min span. The arrogance for speaking on behalf of all taxpayers. Its outrageous. What the f*ck is the world coming to- honestly!

:cry:

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

@ Solo: Thank you. Unfortunately, in Nova Scotia, right now, you need to be referred by a psychiatrist. What a f*cking asshole.

I was going to include that. The process for referral works differently depending on your area.

I'm very sorry. I hope you do write the letter!!

Can you see somebody else in your area?

HUGS
xoxo

 

[bethinhfx]

Thanks for the hugs......:cry:. I am seeing someone else and I am writing a scathing letter; like who gives shit! Honestly, has everyone lost their f*cking minds? :confused: The great minimization of my experience, ya know? f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for huggies....xxoxox beth

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

You're more than welcome.

I can see you're in a lot of pain. The things he said to you were just ridiculous and unacceptable. I hope you can get this out of your system in some healthy way like beating a punching bag or something. Please don't hurt your self. You've already suffered enough.

I really suggest doing something relaxing for yourself like a nice hot bubble bath, and try to get this experience out of your mind for the time being. Don't dwell on it.

Take care

 

[Froggie]

((((bethinhfx)))), there are unfortunately rotten apples in every basket. You are doing right to write that letter. One thing that I found helpful was sending a copy of the letter to a higher authority ... like to the minister of health and on the letter to the college of medicine you put a mention of this. Believe me ... this gets things going. It is totally unprofessional what he did even inhumain. Best of luck.

 

[Hashi]

I'm so sorry you had this experience, good for you for writing the letter.

I do want to give you some encouragement, though. I've seen a dreadful psychiatrist in the past, and tried seeing (briefly) a couple of therapists who weren't right for me. But I've also found a somatic therapist and a psychotherapist who are wonderful, supportive and caring. The search for them was tough, I felt very stuck and thought I would never find anyone, but I did.

The negative experiences actually helped me, in the end. I've learnt what's important to me, what the warning signs are that someone wouldn't be right, what sort of questions to ask and how to gauge someone before I try seeing them. I also learnt how much I had to take charge of this process, that unfortunately I couldn't trust the medical profession to be on my side or even necessarily to act responsibly, but at the same time the help was there if I did some hard searching.

Although I certainly didn't appreciate it at the time, the waiting also helped. I really sympathise for how much you feel you need help and haven't found it yet. It was six months before I saw anyone, other than a disastrous and damaging trial session with a counsellor who turned out to be very wrong for me. I had to work on grounding, safety, visualisation and containment on my own, and as a result I learnt a lot about how to support myself and take care of myself through the effects of trauma. This has helped me so much since I started having therapy, because I can trust myself to know what pace to go at and I have ways of coping with the horrible and scary feelings that trauma work brings. It wasn't my choice to have to learn to cope on my own, but I'm much stronger in this than I would have been if I'd seen a therapist sooner.

I'd suggest that once you've sent your letter(s) about the psychiatrist you saw, you do something symbolic to put it behind you. I do things like write about it in my journal then literally draw a line underneath it and say to myself, that's it, that's done, now I'm ready for something good to happen.

 

[bethinhfx]

@ Hashi, Froggie, Flying Solo: Thank you very much for your comments. I really appreciate your kindness, expertise, support. :rolleyes:. I am going to follow all of your advice. Have great day! xoxoxoxoxoxooxox

 

[freakofnurture]

WTF? I'd inform his superiors of his impossible, unprofessional behaviour ò.ó This guy is actually dangerous and not doing his job.

 

[bethinhfx]

@Freak: no superiors; just the NS College of Physicians and Surgeons. I am writing a very well penned and informed letter. Scary, huh? Incredible, really. Wouldn't it be nice of psychiatry was intelligent enough to recognize that sexism, classism, racism contribute towards mental health problems instead of placing all of the blame and sole responsibility on the patient. Un- f*cking- believable! Thanks!

 

[Srain]

Hey, sorry this happened to you but it seems the nature of the field for some cogs in the wheel. I've run across my share and nothing is quite enraging than a person putting on the "uniform" and abusing their educational powers. I makes me sick and pissed off, especially when there actually are well qualified and good people in the field who's goal it is to help those that need it.

It's good you are documenting this and making a complaint, it's important to do that. I can well imagine those that have come before that were not able to and what may have happened to them, so I commend you. His behaviour is completely out of line and unprofessional.

Like Hashi, I primarily use my tdoc for therapy, my pdoc (who is only one of few I've ever respected and found actually listens not like a scientist but rather physician) to manage my brain chemistry.

Take care of yourself and know that this attitude is not just because you are a woman, though he may have a that issue at the forefront as well, but it's a global attitude and perception towards most people who suffer any type of "mental illness". A few years ago I got to meet a fellow by the name of Peter Earley who is the author of "Crazy", he was a prominent writer in Washington D.C. now he speaks and writes about the treatment of those diagnosed with mental illness of any kind, the deplorable treatment. His son is bipolar and he is intimately familiar with stigmas and poor treatment.

Once I had been hospitalized I was stigmatized and have not been able to shake it since. I know why but I still fight it because I refuse to be pigeon-holed or treated like a non-person. The hardest thing to remember is that it is not personal, the best thing to do is remember WHO you are and not allow anyone to disrespect you.

hugs,
Rain