20 Days Of Unstuffing - The Small Stuff

[BigBear]

I have found that I tend to handle the big stuff pretty well. It's the small stuff that I "Stuff". But I have this tiny space that I am stuffing into. It gets too full after a bit. Then when I go to put something in it, it explodes and makes a mess.

So, I'm committing to 20 days of unstuffing. In the evenings, I will make a time to pick out all of the annoying little things that happened that I have stuffed and unstuff them onto this thread. I acknowledged in advance that they are not worthy of comment, so don't bother unless you feel it would be therapeutic for yourself.

I invite you to join me in my 20 day commitment!

Bear

 

[BigBear]

As an example, I will do yesterday today:

Day 0 - BigBear

• I was asked to tip the pizza guy because there was no money in the wallet. Why would there be money in mine?
• I've been trying to get the lawn mowed. It's one of my jobs. But I haven't been actually allowed time to do so.
• I was supposed to do something with my son, but that was an assumption that was made and never vocalized.
• I should have done something other than exploding at people about all of the above, but I would rather stuff these thing and make a mess that everyone then needs to clean up.

 

[Toria]

What a great idea!

 

[Muzikluvr]

but I would rather stuff these thing and make a mess that everyone then needs to clean up.

I believe this to be false. Of course you don't want to make a mess that others then need to clean up, (((Bigbear))).

It sounds like you're trying to figure out something else to do by writing it down for 20 days. :tup: Good thinkin'! It's easier to figure out a plan for fixing a problem, when you write it down and when you look for patterns.

Good luck, Bigbear. :)

 

[BigBear]

It sounds like you're trying to figure out something else to do by writing it down for 20 days. :tup: Good thinkin'!

Actually, that would be my T. Homework you know.

I believe this to be false. Of course you don't want to make a mess

Probably a grammatical error on my part. I'd rather stuff it than talk about it. The result of my druthers is that I make a mess that everyone has to cleanup.

It's sure a lot better to have a clue of the foolish things you are doing, so that you can try to stop them...

Bear

 

[Toria]

I have a theory - because I do exactly the same thing - I can handle Husband having a "meltdown" and then burst in to tears when I throw something in the bin and miss.

We all know where and when we need to be strong and we put a lot of effort and attention in to this. Something has to give - and because we become so good at dealing with the big stuff every day ii is the small stuff that floors us.

Your T sounds like a very wise person :tup:

 

[amethist]

I have to agree it is always the small stuff that catches us out.

The big stuff is always easy to handle.

 

[BigBear]

The big stuff is always easy to handle.

Probably something to do with "Hmmm, I don't think I can get this elephant under my bed. Better find a real solution to the elephant". Also, I'd guess there is much less guilt involved with stopping to handle the rampaging elephant than the squeaking door.

 

[BigBear]

Day 1 - BigBear

• I hate it when I walking through public areas at work. People are talking ahead of me and they start to whisper as I enter the area. My paranoia really kicks in at that point. Don't get me wrong. I don't feel that I should know their private stuff, but that conscious thought does not help my unconscious paranoia.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Good for you, (((((BigBear)))))!!!

This is the hard stuff that very few people do well.

Those are not small things when they cause us distress. Try not to label them as 'bad' or ...well, any label. Just what it was and maybe add...

"When [thing that happened], I felt [emotions], because [your perception.]"​

Identifying these feelings will help you begin to recognize them as they come through.

You might just explain to your son 'I didn't realize that you were counting on that. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Can we... [something that both of you would enjoy]'.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Day 1 - BigBear

• I hate it when I walking through public areas at work. People are talking ahead of me and they start to whisper as I enter the area. My paranoia really kicks in at that point.

I hate that too. Counter-thoughts I use to my 'they're talking about me' is 'oh. They're having a private discussion' and 'what they think is none of my business.'

 

[BigBear]

Day 2.5 - Bigbear

• I soooo despise making stupid mistakes. It bleeds into everything for days. I hate feeling like an idiot.