Childhood Enmeshment trauma

[KA60]

I have childhood teenage adult enmeshment traums behind my ptsd and catastrophic illness in 2014. I am not going to blame mom dad family of origion forever. I refrained it to cause effect correlation long ago so I could coperate with my physicians therapists etc and take responsibilty for this..My question request for feedback is - my fathers part in thus will not change. He will always try to correct control tell me I am wrong etc. Same with my brother. Their opinion does not matter. I am no contact with my brother. Is there any reason to have any more contact with my father? He is 89. Do I owe him anything? My brother with our last contact said our parents worked their assess off for us. So what..what the H is left to even try to communicate with my father even call on father's day? Thank you. Do I want to continue contact with my fsther? No. Just asking about an assessment of the guilt shame that has already kicked in. Thank yiu.

 

[Movingforward10]

Yeah the guilt and shame are really really hard.
But, I think, and I come to this realisation myself recently, that if the only reasons you want to engage with someone is because you feel guilty and ashamed that you aren't: it is telling you a lot about the state of that relationship.
Healthy relationships that are good for us provide us with other reasons to engage in them. Like joy, love, happiness etc.

What do you need to let go of guilt and shame?

I went low contact with my mother and oldest sister. And, last week discovered I have been disinherited. So, that news has really helped me break free from the guilt. Final confirmation of how differently I am treated. It has set me free. A tangible way to be set free really. I think I am now in 'no contact' with them.