20 Days Of Unstuffing - The Small Stuff

[amethist]

You are not an idiot Bear you are human, and we humans can make mistakes.

Recognizing that you have made them and trying to put them right makes you special. :) :tup:

 

[BigBear]

I know, Amethist. But its almost like a trigger in a sufferer. I tend to loose perspective when I mess up...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((Bear))) you have not messed up, you only think and feel you have. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Mabe that is what the unstuffing is all about really. To get out of you the false beliefs and being so hard on yourself.

I struggle with this too. It does not feel good. But I hate to see it robbing you of all of your good feelings.

Mistakes are learning experiences. We need our mistakes in order to learn how to do things better.

You are such a amazing person and so sensitive. You are kind and caring and so encouraging.

I hope this bad feeling passes away and you get a fresh persperspective on yourself and your situation. Sometimes we screw up bad. But it is still a learning experience. The people who love and care for you will understand and all will be well.

We can make our amends and change. We need to put the end to the guilt. We need to make a choice to not be so hard on ourselves. Because if we are hellbent on feeling bad this can last along time. It is a bad habit that has to go. Mabe it was useful at one time now works against us.

You are a great soul. You are very special. Knowing you has touched my life and has taught me a few things. Great big cyber hugs.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Day 2.5 - Bigbear

• I soooo despise making stupid mistakes. It bleeds into everything for days. I hate feeling like an idiot.

Ok...you have to give us details on this. Seriously. Because I can't imagine you making any mistake that wasn't just being a normal human being, not a stupid one.

 

[BigBear]

If you try to donate on paypal, but you pick an antiquated account with a dead checking account attached.

I'm afraid I have to call that messing up... Too much speed makes you move backwards...

Can I have my arm back now? (Just kidding, Bloom)

Bear

 

[BloomInWinter]

Ok, that's an easy mistake to make for anyone.

NOT 'stupid.'

....and what are you telling yourself in your head? Are you saying 'Whoops. I'll need to fix that. No biggie." or are you saying the self-harming stuff of "OMG, what a f'in IDIOT I am!!!'

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Do not feel bad. It took me a few weeks to get my paypal account all figured out. I did not know what I was doing. So I just kept on trying until I finally got it.

Now that it is all squared away, I have to start over. My husband does not want me to use the credit card for my paypal account, so I will have to save up my money and get a secured credit card. Oy vey.
The secret is to keep on trying and not to give up. You are not alone. Big hugs,

 

[intothelight]

Bear.....I'm joining you. Love the idea and the structure. I may just add "how" I should perceive it to the list if warranted. The whole CTB, DBT thingy...;)

Day 1. I hate when I feel that I waste time. Irritate that the garage was doing a diagnostic test on the suspension, when I wanted the air ride removed the my truck retrofitted with standard shocks, springs and other suspension thingies. Made this clear, and it is my decision. Don't care about the bells and whistles, just want a stable ride at less cost.

I feel invalidated by the shop as I they do not believe I know what I want. Time has become precious and I can't stand waste as I feel my time is limited.

 

[BigBear]

I feel invalidated by the shop as I they do not believe I know what I want.

We had one like that. They thought that women had no brains at all. That they were all fluff and ignorant. I took the cars to them first and thought they were wonderful. But they never treated me that way. Then one day Angel had to take the cars... I insisted that she give them one more chance (this was 7 years before we knew that she had PTSD. Today would be a totally different mater.) Absolutely as bad! I vote with my feet... We never had anything to do with them again.

Bear

 

[wife of]

Cool thread...I live my days like this and refuse to let the little things roll into a big knot....address everything at root and move on..makes life much simpler and even though at first people might find it different in you they will adjust...

 

[intothelight]

Early morning day 2.

Woke up early a little before 3:00 A.M. and came downstairs quietly as not to disturb anyone. (Steroids and hot flashes make early waking very common during chemo.) My husband also woke up and told me "that if I just lay down, I can go back to sleep". We've had this discussion before, and when I am awake, I am awake.

Wish he would just let me be me and just accept some of my quirks. But then I know he is trying to help. There are times when I am "told" what I should do, that I get irritated. Suggestions are OK, but being told is not.

 

[Eleanor]

Our mantra (H and I are doing the same thing - not stuffing - trying to deal with things in real time.) is "There is No Later."

H was going to go grocery shopping. He asked if I wanted him to get anything. I said 'Yes," and told him four boxes of coconut milk. He said he didn't like coconut milk, and we had another box there. I told him it wasn't for him, it was for me, and I drank a box every other day or so. He said ok, three boxes then. I said, no four, I don't want to run out. Then we did more of the list. So annoying to be asked a question about what I want and have to defend the answer!!! (Even when I know he is stupid from low hemoglobin...):mad:

End of mini rant.