I have complex post tramatic stress disorder. I guess most people would not understand by looking at me from the outside and this is the most frustrating part. My traumas all started when I was a child and my dad use to play a game with me he did not realize what he was doing however it devastated me to the point of dissociating myself from my body. By the time I got into my twenties I finally told him he touched me again I was going to shoot him with a holla .38 shotgun. It was at this moment all of his teasing and tickling and tormenting he realized what he had done to me.
I watched my dad cry like a baby as he realized the family cycle had going on which I have stopped. However my parents lack of protecting us as children because of her alcoholism lead me to be molested and raped and raped because no boundaries were taught in my family.
I am to the point in many situations that were very unhealthy for me which caused more and more trama to myself car accident risky situations and many other things happen that were cyclic in nature. I begin to date abusive men that beat me up very terribly and I ended up with a stalker for many years as I lived on my own after my fiance drop dead on me and I went through many many situations that were just out of my control.
I started to develop health problems and winter many many tests and found that I have like 4 conditions and people have asked me how I am NOT in a straight jacket or they tell me I have more will to live than anyone I've ever known. With my complex post tramatic stress disorder I feel like I'm living in a prison in my body and mind.
I currently remarried someone very quickly. I thought that this man with the very protective over me and all in all he came with a daughter and unfortunately bec it never happened when she was around. He use to fight on my behalf because people thought it was strange that I would say anything and he would fight on my behalf and say no this things are happening and she's not doing it and I'm here to witness it.
Now all of a sudden the things are happening again and I know darn well I'm not doing it. So I think it strange that when someone may be passive aggressive and I just think it strange that now that there's another component. The daughter that all the sudden the same type stuff start happening again. Because of the way you still live she plays games very similar to the way my stalker and the abusive men who use to stalk me did. Sometimes I think he plays a role in it but I can't prove it either way and I would like to think that someone who marry someone would never do that to their wife.
But when I go through my things why is it that they're always rearrange the different pocket. Things are missing and then were they return it's the same stuff that has happened in the past and it never happened in the beginning of our relationship
I watched my dad cry like a baby as he realized the family cycle had going on which I have stopped. However my parents lack of protecting us as children because of her alcoholism lead me to be molested and raped and raped because no boundaries were taught in my family.
I am to the point in many situations that were very unhealthy for me which caused more and more trama to myself car accident risky situations and many other things happen that were cyclic in nature. I begin to date abusive men that beat me up very terribly and I ended up with a stalker for many years as I lived on my own after my fiance drop dead on me and I went through many many situations that were just out of my control.
I started to develop health problems and winter many many tests and found that I have like 4 conditions and people have asked me how I am NOT in a straight jacket or they tell me I have more will to live than anyone I've ever known. With my complex post tramatic stress disorder I feel like I'm living in a prison in my body and mind.
I currently remarried someone very quickly. I thought that this man with the very protective over me and all in all he came with a daughter and unfortunately bec it never happened when she was around. He use to fight on my behalf because people thought it was strange that I would say anything and he would fight on my behalf and say no this things are happening and she's not doing it and I'm here to witness it.
Now all of a sudden the things are happening again and I know darn well I'm not doing it. So I think it strange that when someone may be passive aggressive and I just think it strange that now that there's another component. The daughter that all the sudden the same type stuff start happening again. Because of the way you still live she plays games very similar to the way my stalker and the abusive men who use to stalk me did. Sometimes I think he plays a role in it but I can't prove it either way and I would like to think that someone who marry someone would never do that to their wife.
But when I go through my things why is it that they're always rearrange the different pocket. Things are missing and then were they return it's the same stuff that has happened in the past and it never happened in the beginning of our relationship
