Local Etiquette Confusions

[Venusian]

I come from small towns (many) in the Canadian Prairies and because of PTSD I usually avoided any social interactions. I have been watching some shows on dinner parties and there have been things that people think of as being completely rude and yet it is the accepted norm where I live.

The "faux pas" that was spoken about several times in one episode was about being asked to remove your shoes when you walked into someone's house. It is my accepted norm and I do it without even thinking about it. On this show the guests were offended.

I wouldn't have posted this except that not knowing proper etiquette has been a cause of anxiety that sometimes fills my "cup" to overflowing and I just find an excuse to stay home. I am sure that I am not the only one.

Any tips or funny stories from anyone out there?

 

[Whitneys story]

Venusian, What a great idea! Removing shoes is from old culture. Mostly Eastern beliefs. By removing they believe the bad spirits do not enter the home.

I have had anxiety over this one. I throw out socks at the slightest bit of wear! I think it stems from my Gran who instilled you must always wear nice undies. You might be in an accident?

 

[Venusian]

LOL... I never knew the origin, I just thought it might be because it kept the floors cleaner. It does make sense, a lot of the prairies were settled by eastern european cultures. I can relate to the socks, you have to have pretty ones or at least clean ones when you go visiting.

 

[Britt.f7]

I just thought it might be because it kept the floors cleaner

Me too.

I know I ask sometimes or notice whether or not the host is in stocking feet. I prefer people to wear their shoes in my house because, with pets and children, I never think my floors clean enough for them to wear stocking feet.

I always make sure I have clean socks(and clean underwear;) ) whenever I leave my house. You just never know! :D

I had some etiquette classes in Jr. High, and read books that were older then my time. I tend to watch people too to make sure I'm doing things "right". Though we taught our son's manners we also sent them to an etiquette class when they were younger. Thankfully they were good about it. The class wasn't that long. I hope they remember at least one thing from that class!

 

[Hashi]

When I lived in Japan, however much I read about how to behave in different situations I was always getting it wrong.

I often had my feelings hurt by things that were considered rude in my culture, and sometimes my nose got hurt as well. In Japan it's not considered necessary to hold a door open after you walk through it if you don't know the person behind. I didn't realise how ingrained it was to expect that people would keep the door open for me, until the first seven or so times of having it slam straight into my face as I walked after them.

Similarly, there's no need to help out a stranger who's struggling with something. I didn't know this, and again it's automatic in my own country. So when I saw an elderly lady having problems managing her shopping bags I went to help and was actually fought off and shouted at. She thought I was intending to steal them.

And if you want lots of footwear changes, Japan is the place. General house slippers, toilet slippers, shower room slippers, cleaning-the-shower-room slippers and going-outside-for-a-bit slippers all to be changed into at the appropriate point. While the right slippers for each area is very important, whose they are doesn't matter because everyone shares them. It used to amuse me to see my butch male neighbours tinkering with their motorbikes outside our apartment building in a variety of their girlfriends' going-outside-for-a-bit mules - heels, pink plastic, stuck-on flowers and all!

 

[CraftyCath]

:eek: Hashi! I had heard this about the Japanese but didn't realise it was that difficult! How confusing!

As for the removing your shoes bit Venusian, I think it should be made compulsory!:roflmao: It is a great idea! The fist thing I do when I get home is take my shoes off and done the furry slippers. I get so fed up when My H and my eldest son walk in with muddy feet and I have to clean the floor -again!

 

[Innordinate]

in the Canadian Prairies

I think this also became practical, imagine how wrecked your house would be if you lived in Canada and wore your winter boots inside? Or mud boots?

Just walking up a driveway you could have so much mud on your boots you can't even hardly lift your legs to walk.

In Denver my family put a huge sign in the front entry way that said 'remove your shoes' and people there didn't get it at all. That was amusing.

In the Bahamas it's customary to honk, a quick honk, to let someone know you're letting them in, or to thank them for letting you in. You never honk your horn long and never at displeasure for the other driver.

Also there, the jitney's (buses) stop whenever and wherever someone wants it to. They'll even stop so you can lean out the window and buy hot food out of the trunks of peoples cars, which is another custom.