Do We Outgrow Therapists?

[Loveneverfails]

I've been thinking about this one for a long time. At first I thought it was my commitment/trust issues making me want to leave. But now I don't think so. It's been three years and I still really like my therapist, we jive well. We get along, we can have great conversation, but I just don't like the things he says sometimes. Things that are so naive that it makes me want to look in his ear to check if I can see through to the other side.

He also gets angry with me sometimes because I treat certain facets of my life casually. On top of that, I'm concerned that I rely too much on his advice to get me through crisis situations instead of trying to handle them myself. I took care of that by deleting his number off my phone so I can't text him when something happens.

All in all, I'm left wondering if the benefits have just tapered off in the therapeutic relationship and if it is time for me to move on? I guess my question would be, when nothing bad or over the top has occurred, how do you know when it's time to let go of your therapist?

 

['91 Girl]

Angry because your priorities are different than his? That's not right, at least not in my opinion. Really, I have a hunch that we do eventually outgrow therapists. Is he helpful anymore? Have you met your goals in therapy? Do you have goals and are you working towards them? These are all important questions to consider. But as for growing out of a therapist, I think we do, and I think that's probably healthy.

 

[Pencil]

This sounds like mental health to me.

I'm always concerned when I read about people who are terrified by the threat of the end of therapy. I think outgrowing a therapist must be a wonderfully liberating feeling and stage.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Yes and sometimes the relationship and there expertise does expire. They are only as good as there knowledge and experience. Suppose its time for you to find another type of therapy on your journey. I do not know what you have under your belt but could be you have out grown the type you are currently using. Only you can know this. I also agree with pencil. It must feel great to be at the point of knowing you are done with this segment. Congrats!

TB

 

[Pencil]

Congrats!

I forgot to say that :)

 

[Loveneverfails]

I'm not sure if I am done. I don't consider myself stable. But maybe I have passed his expertise. Maybe instead of focusing on CBT it's time I find a therapist that specializes in mood disorders so I can learn healthy ways of coping with that aspect of my disorders? Thanks for the insight, that's a really good point!

 

[Pencil]

And that's great: knowing what you need, being proactive, not clinging to one therapist for dear life. Let me repeat ... sounds like mental health ...

 

[Loveneverfails]

Thanks Pencil. :) Hugs if you want them.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Look how far you have come. Making your own decisions and really knowing what works and doesn't. You will be able to advocate so much better and heal with out waste of time money and energy. Unstuck from the system. You Go!

 

[Pencil]

Always! Thanks Loveneverfails :hug:

 

[p-no]

It's possible. They are only human. They have a certain level of expertise, a certain level of life experience themselves, a certain number of methods to offer to learn, etc.

 

[madmax]

Ask a therapist that does not treat PTSD.
Kudos just the same.