My Life Has Been A Series Of Traumas And Horrible Coping. Started Emdr Today.

[broken brain]

I guess I never really looked at my life as a series of traumas leading up to the current mess I find myself in, but my Therapist (who happens to be great and we totally jive) is wanting to treat the past so I can heal the wounds. I can't even imagine compiling a list of all the past events that have happened so it can be rated and put into categories. I don't know how to manage the current symptoms (cutting, depression, relationship issues, etc) while going deep into the problems that made me this way.

Has anyone had success with EMDR?

Is it normal to be scared out of my wits about the whole process? It's going to get worse before it gets better, but it's already pretty bad.

 

[Still waiting]

I am also prepping to starting EMDR. Best of luck and let me know your results, and I will do the same!

 

[macca]

Hi @broken brain ! I've only had one session of EMDR so far. It was tough, but did seem to help a bit. If you are prone to dissociating, you might find you dissociate quite a bit afterwards. Self-care is really important afterwards too - try to keep things quiet for yourself for a day or two. Has your T covered grounding techniques, or ways to deal with intense emotions? These are helpful to know beforehand. I hope it goes well for you.

 

[CVC]

EMDR was tough for me, but it also brought great relief. I think it's absolutely normal to be scared! But, in my opinion, it's one of the most valuable interventions I've made for myself so far. Good for you for taking this step for yourself.

I second macca's advice about self-care afterwards. I found that it took me a day or two to recover after each session. It might make some sense to come up with a concrete self-care plan (e.g., long hot bath, walk somewhere pretty, calming music, date with a supportive friend, plan to post on this forum, etc). I also agree that knowing grounding techniques--both for during the session and after--are important, too. If you haven't already, maybe it's something you can discuss with your therapist?

 

[ButterflyBean]

EMDR has allowed me to access the emotions that have been locked away for almost 3 years. I am so close to releasing the chaos that has been in my mind, and for me, that is the goal. You said your therapist wants you to heal your wounds by using EMDR, but the important thing to ask is, do you want to heal your wounds? You said so yourself; things will get worse before they get better. Therefore, I would be concerned if you weren't scared of the process; it is completely normal and expected.

I don't know if this will help you, but I went into my first session with the goal of unlocking my emotions, but I did not have any expectations of the outcome. The process took me places I never thought it would, so not having any expectations helped take the pressure off; there is no right or wrong in the process. Just be gentle with yourself, and go at your own pace; remember, you are in control! Good luck!

 

[Still waiting]

Honestly I am very nervous about starting EMDR. I am scared of whatever it is that I have blocked out to survive. It will be challenging nonetheless.

 

[BloomInWinter]

The fear of our inner experiences gets better as we acknowledge and learn about our strengths. With that wisdom comes trust in ourselves.

We're already strong enough to face our traumas, since those are just memories. Knowing that fact and trusting that knowledge is a skill that takes time, self-affirmation, and a lot of self-care.

 

[Still waiting]

The fear of our inner experiences gets better as we acknowledge and learn about our strengths. With that wisdom comes trust in ourselves.
We're already strong enough to face our traumas, since those are just memories. Knowing that fact and trusting that knowledge is a skill that takes time, self-affirmation, and a lot of self-care.

Finding my "strengths" is like finding a needle in a hay stack. As per facing my memories...damn my memories carry clubs, guns, and pitch forks! Not to mention Freddie Krueger...

 

[TimeToHeal]

I just recently had my first EMDR session. Like you, I went in with no expectations.... honestly, I didn't know WHAT to expect.

I did struggle a bit for a few days afterwards. But as others have mentioned, the grounding and self soothing techniques were somewhat helpful. (Along with almost daily emails to and from my therapist...reassurance that what I was feeling and going through was 'normal' and I was not losing my mind)!

Have you begun EMDR yet? And how are you doing?

 

[broken brain]

Let me first say all of you are amazing- the ones posting and the ones just reading. It takes courage to even log onto this site. This is my first experience with any sort of online forum and your honesty and input is so valued.

I have homework to do by Thursday, which is to list all my traumatic events in chronological order (dealing with C-PTSD here) and we will be grouping them into themes (such as shame and loss of power) and rating. Once this is done, I believe we will be moving forward with the process.

I'm very anxious about seeing a physical representation of my history of trauma. It was only recent that this word 'trauma' meant so much. My abuser (older brother) took his life 4 years ago and the nightmares almost completely stopped as a result. It has taken a long time to untangle my feelings of loss, survivor's guilt, and help my family cope with his suicide. Having someone outside the situation tell me that the chaotic environment I grew up in wasn't normal shocked me. It was the big family secret that no one talked about. And then it saddened me that my idea of normal is pain, loss of safety, and shame.

 

[TimeToHeal]

This too, is my first experience with an online forum, such as this, and so far I have found it quite helpful and reassuring. I'm glad you're here!

Wow, good luck with your homework....it sounds like quite a task!

I too, am just discovering that many of my past experiences were, in fact, traumatic. Things that I'd previously just thought to be facts of my life... it was just the way things were for me. It's been a bit overwhelming, but also almost reassuring in a way.... like validation of some sort, that I haven't just been 'crazy' all these years. If that makes sense. ;)

Similarly, I'm also discovering my family's contribution to my "illness(es)." Something I had not fully realized before. It's definitely a lot to process.

I've been having a pretty difficult time lately, but my therapist (whom I dare say I trust), says that it's a process and that I'm really doing OK. She also says it will be worth it. I hope she's right.

Good luck again, with your homework, and as you begin EMDR. Please update us with how it goes. (Or, feel free to message me privately if you prefer). It would be great if we were able to support each other through all of this!

Take care! :)

 

[Still waiting]

I just recently had my first EMDR session. Like you, I went in with no expectations.... honestly, I didn't know WHAT to expect.

I did struggle a bit for a few days afterwards. But as others have mentioned, the grounding and self soothing techniques were somewhat helpful. (Along with almost daily emails to and from my therapist...reassurance that what I was feeling and going through was 'normal' and I was not losing my mind)!
Have you begun EMDR yet? And how are you doing?

No I have not started my EMDR as of yet. I go see my at tomorrow. My classes are causeing me a lot of anxiety. We'll my PTSD is causing my anxiety and my classes represent something I am not sure of yet. Since it us done through the VA...it is a slow process. I will let her know that I need to start ASAP.