Omg... WTF? Worst Doctor Encounter Ever

[kimG]

Oh my gosh....I am so pissed right now I don't even know where to start.

I went to a new doctor today. While I've been to therapists and counselors before, I figured it was time that I was a doctor. Why? I don't know. What I experienced today just made some of my worst fears relating to mental health come true.

This woman was no more interested in finding out what happened to me than I am interested in the name of the man in the moon. When she heard that I was sexually abused she immediately took of on that - didn't want to know of the physical abuse. She never asked me what I did for a living, but she did tell me that I couldn't possibly have PTSD since I was able to hold down a full-time job. I only met with her for 15-20 minutes and in that time she diagnosed me with DID, depression, and being bi-polar. She thought it was really bad that I didn't know any of my medical background (I was adopted), she thought it was really bad that my mother and father passed away and that I haven't found my birthfather yet (don't know what finding him has to do with it). She told me that she suspected that I have multiple personalities; when I told her I didn't think I did I also told her that she should talk with my husband to find out. I asked her why she thought I was depressed (she told me that in the first 5 minutes); her response was because I wasn't smiling. I almost cussed at her, but I held back - I told her that we weren't talking about anything yet worth smiling about!!

I brought up the fact that I had been diagnosed with PTSD in the past but she didn't want anything to do with it. She said that I didn't have the symptoms of it. When I mentioned (again) the flashbacks, hyperawareness/hypervigilance, rages, thoughts of suicide, fear, sense of doom, trouble sleeping at night once I've been awakened by the simplest of things, and the helplessness I feel at times, she said that wasn't enough. She said there was so much clinical criteria that I had to meet and she didn't think I had enough of them. When I mentioned that I was intelligent enough to do my own research on it, she reminded me that I didn't know the clinical side of it (I think she didn't appreciate the fact that I educated myself on it; perhaps she felt threatened by it?).

And, here's where my worst nightmare about these doctors came true: she immediately began pushing meds. She said that the Wellbutrin I am taking wasn't doing anything for me, that it was the wrong thing for me, that I needed something else. This, of course, got my hackles up. I told her that I would rather try therapy first and that if that didn't seem to help I would take additional meds - told her that 3 times. That wasn't good enough for her; she kept at it. I told her that I have never self-medicated over all of this and I didn't plan to now, to which she replied that this was different. By this time I was getting angry and was really trying my best to hold back, so I shot back at her, "My brother was an addict. I've worked hard all my life to not get addicted to anything and I'm not about to start now. I don't want to take something that's going to mask my problem, I don't want to take something that I'm going to get addicted to, I don't want to take something that I will have to wean myself off because of the addiction. If therapy doesn't work, then I will look into the meds." Yet, she still continued. Finally, when I had had enough, I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I will tell you this: if you presribe meds for me, I won't take them. Plain and simple." That was about the end of our conversation...

Now here I sit wondering who has the bigger problem.... ha ha ha.

OMG...there's so much more that happened in the span of this office visit, but I am so mad I can't even think straight. Of course, it'll all come back to me tonight when I'm trying to go to sleep...LOL.

Okay, now that I've vented some, I'm going to go start making dinner...

Take care all...know that you are loved!

Kim

 

[nml]

Gosh Kim! That was quite an experience! I know doctors slap that Bipolar and depression diagnosis on so many people. I am a recovering alcoholic and I see so many people come in the AA and NA program who have been diagnosed bipolar .....especially the ones who are also hard drug addicts. A lot after a year of not drinking or drugs, they have leveled off a bit. There is so much misdiagnosing going on. I believe for insurance purposes has a lot to do with it. Physcians here in the states do get a cut for prescribing certain meds from the pharmaceutical companies. The companies market to the physicians......golf outtings, beach trips, etc. and people do work with PTSD.....Ive been working for years! Its one way I ran from myself with working too much. I was laid off for a few months at the end of January and it was nice at first but I dont function to well when I dont have some "have to do" stuff. Which then I went overboard there too after I went back to work...again running trying to hide from the pain. In the meantime of being laid off, I lost my insurance. I have been blessed with a therapist who only charges me 10 bucks a visit! It probably just does pay for her gas to get to her office and back in one day cuz I know she lives about 30 minutes away and her husband drives her in his Dodge truck which is a gas guzzler. She is also blind is why her husband drives her so I know she is more intuitive to my voice. She even made special Saturday sessions since I worked out of town during the week.From all this I know she is there not for the money, she is there because she wants to be.

Keep looking for another therapist since you arent comfortable with this one. I wouldnt be either if one is not taking in what I am saying. To some doctors, we are just another warm body....to others we are souls who need healing on the inside.

Time for me to fix dinner too!

Nancy

 

[wildfirewildone]

WOW!!!! What a ****day!!!

I feel for you....that was a total screwy encounter with a doctor!!!! I can understand from what you said...about why you are so scared off of meds...I'm on some and have been on for years....Not all is addicting...But because of some people in the mental health field...have kept people on the addicting meds way longer that recommended!!! Therefore they get addicted to them...I started going to my Psychodoc several years ago...but it was a long time of dealing with the "idiots" out there!!! With my psychodoc...we have always discussed meds before I took them & he had no problem with getting the information so I could make an informed decision....We discuss every change that he recommends & I know that he knows his meds really well!!!!! I would suggest that you look for another doc...Keep Searching!!! You are worth getting the BESTI medical care that you can get!!!! My meds keep me at a level that I can function in life [unfortunately not at a job] I did have to go outside the Mental Health Center in my county....they weren't very happy about it...oh, well....It's taken me a long time to find just the right therapist [recommended by a nurse-casemanager at a hospital 1 hour east of here] and I also found my psychodoc there also...[my shrink at the MH center was a pompass ass!] I do drive 1&1/2 hours to see him but he's the BEST!!! He has no doubt that I know what's going on in my body....[the last doctor pointed at all his degrees on the wall and spouted off how many years it took him to get each one...:rolleyes: ] The only thing he did that was helpful was that he diagnosed me with PTSD 3 yrs. ago....[I had been going to the center for 10 years and it took all that time for somebody to figure it out!!! Still life is difficult!!! KEEP LOOKING!!! It's not an easy task and can be down right uncomfortable [:wall: ] I found out that every side effect listed was not nessasarily one that I would experience....The FDA requires that anyone who had any sort of side effect during the trials ... has to be listed even though only one person had it....Everybody's systems are different so it all has to be reported!!! I would recommend that you do some deep breathing before and right after you have a session with her!!! PEACE ...wildfirewildone:thumbs-up: p.s. It's always up to you whether you use meds or not!!! Please be open-minded---you can also decide when you want to off the them [just jumping off on your own can make the side effects very very horrible!!!]

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Kim I totally feel for you.

In my race to run away from everything that reminded me of my "accident"
I found myself in a new city with no family Doctor.
Before I had moved my old family doctor said I was definatly suffering from Depression, if not more... so he wanted me to look into getting a new doctor ASAP!

The first Doctor I chose to see was nothing short of an a$$hole
in 2 minutes he told me that I didn't have depression
(I was so afraid of breaking down infront of this "stranger" I had tried to be cheerful and friendly)

So after proceeding to ask me detailed questions about my "accident"
...I broke, I just started having a panic attack.
He told me something wasn't right in my head.
Which got me pretty pissed off.

After an exchange of words,
we both came to the conclusion that I would not be back!!!

He did send me for a full body bone scan (for the back/neck aches)
but other than that... he called me a lunatic.
He told me I needed some serious help.

Dammit... why did he think I was there?


Don't let this stupid Doctor scare you out of making another appointment with another doctor.
Just make 3 appointments... and see which one you like best!
This is the person who is going to be looking after your health... you need to find someone you trust.


Have a great dinner, yum!

 

[Deleted member 93]

All I can say is run run as fast as you can and get a new doc who will listen!

I hate my shrink but my husband makes me see her. First visit I was on 9-10 mg xanax prescribed to me at the time. Along with Buspar. First thing she did was yank xanax and put me on 2 mg clonzepam (sp?) upped the buspar and added effexor. I swear she damn near killed me. She had slapped her hand on the desk saying I would NOT have a panic attack but if I felt I had to I could take up to 1.5 mg of my xanax hours later. I ended up in the hospital twice in 4 days, one by ambulance. I told her there was no way I was touching it period after that. She put me back on xanax at 6 mg. I have never been so sick in my entire life, I was literally throwing up blood from the lining in my throat I puked so much from withdrawals.

THEN GET THIS. After putting me through pure hell of withdrawals to get me down to 6 mg she says I can go back to 8 mg xanax, you have to be kidding right??? Telling me 6 won't do the same for me later, duh ya think? How the hell do you think I ended up with a doc giving me 9 - 10 mg a day??? I wanted off and CBT and all she wanted was more drugs in my system. She insisted to my husband and I that I needed an anti depressant. I told her I did not want more crap to be addicted to. My husband made me take it. Fine I take it now but tossed my buspar all at once, non addicting. Asked my husband what in the hell do I need 2 meds aimed at preventing attacks? Feel better with out it matter of fact. I told him I need to face them and my fears to be free.

I had been coming off at .5 mg a week and it was getting bad, she finally slowed it to .25mg a week. and I told under no circumstance I was going above the low dose of zoloft and will quit when I see fit. I have been on it before so know what it has in store when I quit. I am at 4.25 mg a day xanax still working it down. And threapy through CBT helps a lot, he wants to heal me! She wants to dope me. I think you may have my shrink! I can soooooo relate!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

I think both of you (veiled and Kim)
need to throw on the running shoes...
and run as fast as you can away from those quacks!

You need to feel comfertable with whos treating you!

Run Forest! Run!
(bad joke? Forrest Gump movie...? nevermind, lol)

 

[Deleted member 93]

My shrink I think finally got a clue since my better half kept dragging me in there to argue, he did not like me to argue with her though. He even admits she screwed up but had good intentions. Whatever as my teen would say. But she chilled out and slowed down the cuts. She said the last time I sasw her "you really do have bad withdrawals"... duh, ya think? But does not listen to me, mainly my husband he had to repeat all of what I said about the withdrawals to get her to listen, so I make sure he is always there during it since 99% we are on the same page. She did finally listen that I do not want drugs and is leaving me be with my cuts on my own and acted surprised that someone who is addicted does not want to stay on it or increase it. I may be addicted but that is why I want off, not to say some days my body begs for it painfully! It was a smoke screen, a mask, not healing. I did not even know the dose I was on was so high. How can you take that much xanax daily just to be normal most of the time and still have attacks and be surprised I have withdrawals???? She gave me my alotted amount of refills for 2 months so I don't have to see her for a while a couple months, I see my CBT guy once a week. He knows I know what is going through my mind and told me no one knows better what is going on in your head than you, and right he is.

I think she may expect me to crash and burn. But as many crashes I have had coming off and as much as it hurts, every step down makes me feel empowered. I will NOT burn, I will succeed in this through threapy and time! Some days I may feel like rolling over and dying but others I see how far I have come. I may just stick with letting her cut my dope, just so once I am off I can snub my nose at her, I am just onry that way... has nothing to do with my issues LOL.

I have to add about what goes on in my head... The CBT guy says only I know what is going on but it is unreal at the insight Anthony has from what I have read from him, feels like he has a pretty good grasp what is going on in it even from so far away.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Veiled are you still going to that same Doc then?

I know what you are talking about not wanting to be "addicted"
After my accident I numbed my pain with Tylonel 4's.
Fortunatly I noticed when my monthly dose of 90 pills was barely lasting a week.
And somehow I managed to wean myself off of those
(privately of course... I was to embarressed to mention it to anyone)

Since that moment... it has taken the convincing of many Doctors,
psychologists, psychiatrists and family members,
(and the threat of hospitalization)
for me to finally give in and start taking "daily medication"

My psychiatrist understands how I feel about taking meds,
and before any changes are made... the information I need is provided.
Nothing is forced.
I feel comfertable with this.

I don't feel comfortable with the thought that I am "addicted" to any medication.
(although technically I am!)
But instead of fighting it, I decided to test it out.
Nothing else I was doing was working... so I didn't have anything else to lose.

It's been 7 months (OMG!) since I started my first meds...
... and my days have finally become more stable.

If you need them, you need them.
But they aren't supposed to be used as a "band-aid"

You need to be in therapy to deal with your issues,
medication should only be used if needed.
And most definatly not as the only PTSD tool you have.

You need a doctor that understands you and is willing to listen.
When you feel as though you are being heard, and the Doctor actually cares...
it makes a HUGE difference!

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 93]

That is why I see my CBT every week, he cares and gets me. I get relaxed with him, he is so good at it! I get out there every week! He has helped a lot, as also educating myself, and to help get a grip on panic attacks I listen to Claire Weekes audio I downloaded (for free yeah) to relax and go into the attack, not fight. Her works are a bit dated but I get it and she has that soothing voice and accent... I fall asleep listening to her.

I have to go to this shrink, husband put his foot down on it and that is something he never does. I have to give in with him at some point and he makes sure he is with me during the session so I am heard. I pretty much always get my way with him so I don't want to fight with him over it. He supported me with her when I refused to go over 50 mg zoloft. So it is there. He did insist I take at least that while I come off xanax. I used to be on a lot higher dose of zoloft before years ago and coming off wasn't hard for me. Once the xanax is gone so will go the zoloft next and I hope to be able to cope and live again by changing my way of thinking.

He is there for me so I have to give him that, besides I raise enough hell at home and he sees most my way all he has to do is tell her for me. Since she does not listen to it coming out of my mouth.

 

[anthony]

Veiled, you have your head screwed on very well. Well done for your efforts and I have no doubt you will succeed past this quite quickly.

Kim, get the hell away from that doctor... as they are a dead set twit. From what has been mentioned above with medications, there is no secret to this, in that purely doctors familiarise themselves with certain medications, and they stick to those, whether kickbacks are offered or not. Yes, some doctors do dodgy stuff behind the scenes that are not within the best interests of their patients, yet not all do so. Generally with medications, once doctors have prescribed one type enough, if they have more success than failures in particular issues, they will stick with those type of medications, even if something is better suited, they stick with what they know. Any honest doctor will tell you this. Doctors will tell you, it is a huge guessing game for them, as each person reacts differently to each medication, and then each person reacts differently to each combination of medications. The more you add to the mix, the worse it gets.

Any doctor that can come up with all that in 15 - 20 minutes with no indepth detail of what the hell has gone on in your life, is full of shit. My doctor picked me for PTSD the moment he saw me, though I was in the worst of it, and he was an expert in PTSD, not just a shrink of general nature, but specialised PTSD and trauma. Some doctors think they know it all, and they are the one's you run far away from. Its like going to a GP for brain surgery, and actually believing them that they are capable of performing brain surgery on you in their office... I think not!

My recommendation for a good doctor is very simple, and pretty effective across the globe. The most central group for PTSD is military, not the largest, but the most central, so... find a military support service, make a phone call, and ask them which civilian doctors specialise in trauma and PTSD. They are the people who will be able to help you. It is one of the easiest ways to find a good doctor who specialises in PTSD. Whilst the military have their own doctors, there are still civilian doctors that treat ex veterans, outsource to military, etc etc, so any vietnam support group or peace keeper association should be able to give you a list of good shrinks within your area that are specialists in trauma. If they ask, tell them that your not military, but just need a true professional in trauma, got recommended to them for possible guidance, and they should help you out.

 

[kimG]

Any doctor that can come up with all that in 15 - 20 minutes with no indepth detail of what the hell has gone on in your life, is full of shit.

My thoughts exactly...and she was very lucky (or maybe I was the lucky one) that I didn't say that to her face!! :angry-fla

 

[anthony]

I would have. I could understand, if you are at your worst with PTSD, and with an expert in PTSD and trauma, they would pick you in that time frame, no doubt at all, but if I walked into a doctor now, even an expert, they wouldn't pick me for PTSD, as I am not at my worst. Good decision.