Poll Transgenerational Trauma

[Nighthawk]

I have been wondering how many of us have some of transgenerational trauma.I know I have been affected by it.

 

[joeylittle]

Do you mean stuff that gets passed down? As in, my mother was once in a near-death car accident and I have a terror of cars that I've had since childhood, but nothing specific happened (that I recall) to give me that fear...is that the idea?

 

[BlueOrange]

I think my father treated me better than his father treated him. Not that I was treated wonderfully, you understand.

 

[Nighthawk]

@joeylittle Exactly the idea

 

[risingsun]

I definitely think we pick up on the traumas of our elders because it impacts them and it vicariously impacts how we feel and see things. We hear about it and experience the impact is has had on them and whatnot. Its like when your little and you see your parent(s) cry and you cry along with them in a sense. Or if they were abused, they then act out that abuse on their children so the trauma of that is passed along. Or, if they are fearful due to trauma, they pass that fear and therefore the trauma along to their children. Not sure if I explained that well, but I think I know what you mean.

 

[rightkindofme]

I come from a multi-generational incestuous family. Lots of alcoholism. Lots of violence.

 

[Whirlwind]

Yes; is a mix of addictions, abuse physical and sexual and mental illness. And poverty on mothers side.

In some ways they had it worse, particularly my mother, her history was stomach turning.

But it ended with me, I swore it would and made sure of that (somewhat sadly).

 

[Notsowild]

My mother was sexually abused as a child and suffered agoraphobia and panic attacks. I was sexually abused as a child and had panic attacks and developed PTSD. My daughter was sexually molested and has anxiety and panic attacks too.

 

[Friday]

Not me, exactly. My son. My stuff led me to making a terrible choice in spouses, and my son reaps the whirlwind on that one. I hate myself for that, most of all.

 

[rightkindofme]

My sister passed the incest to her children. I don't know about my brother. I know he told his wife he would leave her if they had a daughter. I've kept my kids away from anyone suspect. I homeschool them. I don't know for sure that their dad has never done anything but there are no signs and he isn't alone with them much. It would be hard to hide in our house.

My husband knows I'm paranoid. He knows that if I ever found out he did that to my children I would mutilate him and bury the body parts and I'm not kidding. I have no interest in letting my children experience the weaksauce support of the so-called justice system. Been there, done that got the t-shirt. I want my money back.

 

[Lucycat]

I don't understand. I was abused by my father - that is trans-generational isn't it? Why does it make a difference whether or not he was abused? I have no idea if he was or not. Is this thread aimed at perpetuating the myth that if you were abused you go on to become an abuser and that is a good enough excuse?

I want to go and cry in a corner:cry:

 

[rightkindofme]

*Some* people who are abused go on to abuse. Some families have clear dynamics through many generations and in others it is a surprise. Those of us from clear patterns are not trying to make anyone else feel bad. We just want to not feel alone.