Ptsd is selfish

[Deleted member 1860]

If sufferers start thinking that PTSD is selfish, the rest of the world will follow suit.

 

[shimmerz]

You are grieving a major loss.

Which seems oddly distant right now. Thanks for the reminder. I am doing so much shifting since I stopped my reactionary phase and these new issues (like feeling selfish) are coming up in different ways right now. It is overwhelming yet strangely distant. It makes no sense but in reality I am getting used to a very new way of thinking, reacting, and a very unusual (for me) form of cognition.

If sufferers start thinking that PTSD is selfish, the rest of the world will follow suit.

lol. @Solara, I am not trying to talk anyone into feeling selfish. lol.

 

[Recovery4Me]

((((shimmerz)))) it will take time and every wonderful ounce of who you are to rebuild no matter the path that life takes you. You are more than enough to meet each challenge, each feeling is not a fact.

"Selfish" is an old negative tape...self-care is inherently a solid buzz word. This is a survival time in many ways. I am proud of you dear virtuous warrior woman. Very.

 

[shimmerz]

People have been responsive of your special needs for a long time, if you've shifted, give them a chance to shift too.

Yes, got it. This will help with my relationships right now in more ways than one. Thanks so much for this.

Accommodation does not equal "selfish".

Can't quite get my head to where you are relating these two @The Albatross . Their accommodation was the direct result of my selfishness. Can you expand on this as I feel like I am not seeing it properly.

self-care is inherently a solid buzz word

Right, not selfish but self-care. Yikes! Explain the difference again? lol. You, my friend are a keeper! Shall we tap sabers?

(Not sure why quotes didn't come through for you @The Albatross . They show in my edit post screen. Sorry if it is as confusing to you as it is to me. lol. nvm.)

 

[sun seeker]

I know enough about this stuff that if all those bad things are coming to me it is a script of some sort that I have bought into but I seriously cannot figure out any good or even neutral word that I can use here. Help!!!!

I'm trying, and you're right, our language is lacking in positive words that describe someone needing protection. That says some sad things about our cultural priorities. The closest to neutral I can come up with is "fragile". Makes me wonder whether there are some less antagonistic societies that have a vocabulary for this.

Because I am especially bad. Beyond hope, beyond redemption.

Negative specialness. That belief system that says you alone are so messed up as to be unable to heal. I'm not making fun of this by the way, I know exactly what you mean because I often feel this way too. You know what? Almost everyone who has been abused has this black and white belief system. Darn it all, we're not so negatively special after all! John Bradshaw has written a lot about overcoming this way of thinking. You might get something out of his work if you haven't tried it already.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Explain the difference again? lol

Perhaps, as we sit around a camp fire, our hearts can speak of the sacrifices made in love and honor of others someday. Until that time, reflect on how many times you chose the high road, how much of your heart you give/gave despite the inherent risk because you believe in love.

Now, it is time to honor yourself and offer that gentle compassion for forging a path based on love. We would do it again, if it rang true for another. Now take the greatest risk of all and learn to fully embrace yourself...flaws and strengths. No shame, no guilt...just rest in the beauty of you.

Consider yourself an endangered species...what care is needed for protection? :hug: A lot of TLC and planning for the preservation, yes? That is self-care.

 

[RussH]

my inner critic, gives me these words - uncaring, weak, helpless, idiotic, troublemaker.

I can tell you this; PTSD is a liar, and when you hear your inner critic say things like this; it is lying to you. I don't, for one minute, believe any of this about you.
Does PTSD make you selfish? I think it makes you self aware that something is wrong. It makes you want validation, and we each seek validation in different ways.
I myself tend to focus outward instead of inward. I reach out to others in need, and thus find validation for myself. Does this mean I am ultimately operating in a selfish way? I don't know; I just know that more often that not the needs of others are more important than my own needs.