First Time Getting Help - Feel Abandon By Doctor After 9 Months

[Ocean5]

What was the point? So hard to get help for first time and to trust...now this.... after 9 months. Total opposites of previous visit.

Maybe she was having really bad day, but seeing psychiatrist that does psychotherapy. I really don't understand this, and very frustrated.

I've been a mess since last visit (but it maybe klonopin withdrawls ) Feelings still the same. Frustrated and venting.

First told to get off all medicines for several months to try to figure out cause of possible side effects ( 3 medicines - only 2 daily.) Told i needed to see ptsd/trauma specialist 2-3 times a week to get stable. That medicine were not the answer for me because i'm too sensitive to medicine, and I have too many triggers

(mom passed away last year and so many triggers from childhood since. yes i have triggers - i didn't do this to myself, and my life has been falling apart.)

after 9 months she doesn't remember basic things like my living situation i've been trying to get out of
("Main reason I went to her!!!" - to get stable and out of this situation!! Main objective since meeting one!)

I think she was having bad day, and wasn't herself. But later in meeting (after I had to "reexplain" my situation "yet again" she was sympathetic and understanding again... ) This is after 9 months (normally every 3 weeks.)

Then opposite told. Stay on medicine, and adjustment myself as needed, or reduce. Up to me.

(ok maybe she doesn't like I research online, and I ask a family member whom has experience this these medicines. I suggested a new "Very Serious" problem was side-effect of new medicine she gave me previous month. I think that's when she went off.)

But I'm frustrated, and feel like I've wasted all this time to get help (even thought she did schedule next appointment and was supportive in end.)

Plus realized I think I might be in benzo withdrawl since she said I could just stop since wasn't on that long. 4 months daily? Past few days of hell (her file is not always accurate and I have to correct her.).

 

[Born to Run]

It does not sound like you getting appropriate help from her. You are darn right in that you need a ptsd/trauma therapist, and 2-3 times a week is the best. How old is she? Alzheimers an option? I think not remembering your history, situation is very bad, especially for people with trauma. It feels that you are once again alone again. She either does not focus or has Alzheimers. When my therapist has a bad day I notice, BUT it is never to such a degree that he does not function as he should. If she had such problems herself she should have cancelled. You see her every three weeks? You need much more than that. Benzo withdrawal always extremely slow, never go cold turkey. What did she say about the Zoloft?
I have had 12 therapists, and 11 were for depression as I did not know I had ptsd. Two of them were psychiatrists, but older people and trained old school. They simply are not trained in trauma specific therapy, and Freud does not do trauma. New school psychiatrists can be different, and usually they will make it specific with their details that they did extra training in trauma specific areas. I would suggest to get what you know you need and that is help from a ptsd/trauma therapist and forget about this one. Yes, you have wasted time, it is frustrating as hell. I wasted 20+ years of therapy on depression, which never got better to only be diagnosed with ptsd 3 years ago, after I had brain surgery that triggered ptsd. Of course, it was not a total waste, as some stuff does not need to be addressed in current therapy anymore. Accept is all we can, and keep moving towards our shared goal, which is getting a life for yourself in which you can be free of the past.

 

[Friday]

Just to clarify... I'm a little confused.

1)

Your first meeting was 9mo ago... And this is your 2nd meeting?

Or you've been seeing her for 9mo... And today she remembered nothing of what you've been discussing (weekly, biweekly, monthly?) for the past 9mo.

2)

Have you been seeing a trauma therapist 2-3 times a week? For how long?
How many months have you been off all meds?

 

[KwanYingirl]

You should not cold turkey benzos. Four months on them is plenty long enough to be addicted. Best thing is to find a trauma specialist and get some intensive therapy. The word therapy is derived from the Greek word thera meaning help. If she's not helping then replace her. She sounds scattered. You need a steady Eddie who can help you develop skills for coping. I think Psychiatrists are only good for prescribing meds. I've never told my shrink any of my story and have no intention of doing so. He doesn't even call me by name. They're all weirdos. I've had probably seven shrinks. The current one is tolerable, but he's not a therapist. Good luck with your search. Do you know any trauma therapists in your area? I found mine by word of mouth. I had his name and phone number for a year before I finally called. And I was a mess. He's a genius and remembers every conversation we've had.

 

[Ocean5]

@Born to Run

How old is she? .

I think late 50s or 60s. I wanted an older experienced doctor. She is progressive (genetic testing for medicine, low doses for me.) But she forgets, or has inaccurate notes. She told me she had taken me off certain medicines (that I took myself off of due to side-effects.) Yet her notes say she did. Reason I think she thought I could just stop Klonopin (inaccurate notes.)

Yea she's been telling me I should be seeing trauma specialist very often. But first I need life to be stable first.

Extreme trauma from youth.

She said she's never heard of Zoloft, or Klonopin, causing a person to struggle so much to get out of bed morning (yet I can go on 1 hour walk in evening?! ) I get out of bed several times over hours just to start day (and I use to be morning person all my life!) Yet can go for 1 hour walk evening and not feel tired, or 30 minute walk to her office from train? Then back after..

(I never asked for increase dose of Klonopin.)

Your first meeting was 9mo ago...

Yes. And if she doesn't take time to read notes doesn't remember much after seeing her every 3 weeks (i stopped for holidays because I feared it would me worst.) Besides that there very often. In past 9 months.

Last meeting told to get off medicines - same visit told to adjust them as I saw needed.

 

[joeylittle]

Besides that there very often. In past 9 months.

So, you have been seeing her every three weeks since last June, except things got a little off-schedule during the holidays?

seeing psychiatrist that does psychotherapy.

Seeing someone every three weeks is a fairly normal psychiatric schedule. But really engaging in the psychotherapy side of it takes more frequency, in my opinion. I don't see how you could be getting any meaningful work done on a current life issue causing real problems by only seeing someone once every three weeks. You'd have to be given very detailed homework assignments and even then, probably also doing a group for some support in the between-times.

Every three weeks sounds like maintenance therapy. Med maintenance, psycho-maintenance. Try more frequent sessions, or switch to someone else for therapy.

 

[Ocean5]

You should not cold turkey benzos. Four months on them is plenty long enough to be addicted. .

Hard lesson learned. I can't agree more (past several days awful). Why tell a person sensitive to medicine they could just stop. She's the one that told me I was sensitive to start with. Even if on 1 month being sensitive to meds why not reduce to avoid problems?

He's a genius and remembers every conversation we've

This would be so welcomed!

 

[Ocean5]

Every three weeks sounds like maintenance therapy. Med maintenance, psycho-maintenance. Try more frequent sessions, or switch to someone else for therapy.

Yes she was trying to get me stable (and I was getting better - until several triggers.) But with her schedule it's booked out 3-4 weeks. She can't do every week, but had 45 minute sessions with me. (was told those where also therapy sessions.)

Joey I'm new to all this...medicine, therapy, etc. But her reaction was opposite to any other visit. Last time she was very happy to see making progress - "even if small steps." More thinking progress than medicine.

 

[Friday]

Last meeting told to get off medicines - same visit told to adjust them as I saw needed.

Whoops. This sounds like a miscommunication. If my doctor told me that? I'd begin to taper. Lowering and adjusting them as I saw I needed. It's sounds like she thinks you're more familiar with medications than you are?

 

[KwanYingirl]

OK so what's next? A search for a trauma specialist and perhaps a second opinion on meds. What's really therapeutic about therapy is the repetition of skills I am just learning and are effective coping mechanisms that aren't automatic. Yes, it helps that my therapist remembers everything because I forget!!! He's especially good at defining triggers that cause me to dissociate, when I'm not aware of drifting off.

 

[Born to Run]

If a therapist does not remember it becomes a significant aspect of therapy, while it should not belong in a therapeutic relation. It should be about you and not about her. All depending on your trauma it can evoke feelings of being not important enough, neglected, unseen, not cared for, plain hurtful, unheard, left alone, disrespect and so on. In a way it is retraumatizing, because you are truly not treated well.

My therapist never takes notes, and I am so glad, as in the past that always made me feel like a study object. Yet, he remembers everything and I see him 2-3 times a week. At the end of the day he dictates his mental notes for all patients he saw that day, which are typed out by a medical typist. It makes the therapeutic relation very human taking away those notes.

 

[anonymous]

It can literally take YEARS for someone to find the right meds/combination of meds that stabilize them. I don't think I would rely on becoming stable on medication alone as you are med sensitive which means it will likely take you longer to find the right meds than a non-med sensitive person.

The other thing is that psychiatrists aren't generally trained in therapy. A small percentage of them do therapy as well as prescribe, but its generally to the patients advantage to have a psychiatrist who knows their meds and a separate therapist who knows how to treat trauma. At this point I'd advise finding a new psychiatrist and a new trauma therapist.