Structural Dissociation?

[shimmerz]

@Kaia's posting about time.

In people with dissociative disorder, certain parts are compelled to focus on the perception of danger. Living in trauma-time, these dissociative parts immediately perceive the present as being just “like the past” and emergency emotions such as fear, rage, or terror are immediately evoked, which compel impulsive decisions to engage in defensive behaviors (freeze, flight,flight, or collapse).

How about we start with this? As far as the statement of the present being just like the past, idk, but with my version of dissociation I have a foot in both the present and the past, a concept of both, but no concept of time and my senses dragged more into a 'parallel universe' kind of feeling.

 

[Ronin]

Overwhelming feeling of 'not applicable' here... now, figuring why that one though IS what has a chance to move me somewhere <grin>. (Part being it's not a non-emergency / emergency switch with me, more like the opposite if it makes sense; boredom and nearly no danger and joyful things all around? Totally triggering dissociation and unreality. All the opposite? Not a stressor.)

 

[Hope4Now]

Time...
This will not cohere but I'm throwing it out anyway...after a troublesome morning.

ANP(s)= Danger if you don't do it NOW. Do what has to be done. Do it all. Do it NOW. Constant rush. Never enough time to do things. Too many things to do. Take care of others. Take care of business. Do what's expected. Be happy about it because that's expected too. Keep trying even if it seems impossible. Don't give up on trying to get it right even though you know you can never be good enough to relax. Relaxation comes when you're dead. Don't ever ever ever let anybody know how hard it is.

For ANP(s) there is never enough time. It moves WAY too fast.

EP(s)...I'm going to die if I don't escape from all this NOW. Help. Please help!

For EP(s) time moves far too slowly...to the point of stoppage. Like animal time--now=forever.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

Would anyone watching this thread be willing to pop over and offer some help with my recent post: Dissociating During Sex (pls Keep Pg13)

I would VERY much appreciate your thoughts!

:inlove: :hug: :)

~S2B

 

[shimmerz]

For EP(s) time moves far too slowly...to the point of stoppage. Like animal time--now=forever.

Yes. I can tell EP outage when time gets messed up. Can't tell if it has been 5 minutes or 5 years.

 

[shimmerz]

Had an interesting message from a member here who spoke about what her T's take on parts.

Parts seem uncontrollable in their responses. Like they are stuck in a time warp that isn't quite helpful in the moment. But they think they have a job to do - and that is to keep us safe. Due to the lack of time sense, they are misguided in their jobs. So his answer was to help them figure out a new job; a more helpful 'in the moment' job.

I can relate to this with my 'turned in foot' EP. I asked it to let me know what to do, she actually had no idea. So ANP clicked in to 'take her away' from the situation, although I didn't know what the situation actually was (still don't). Foot turns in, ANP gets her out of there until foot corrects itself. ANP is conversing with EP the whole time with no chaos involved.

So what is EP's job? To remind me to look at feet....to help me see her. Feet rarely turn in these days. Any thoughts on this? Can EP's be asked to warn rather than react?

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

*whispers* (a moderator updated title of abovementioned post to Dissociating During Sex (please Keep Non-graphic))

*quietly exits to keep from hijacking this thread*

 

[Ronin]

So what is EP's job? To remind me to look at feet....to help me see her. Feet rarely turn in these days. Any thoughts on this? Can EP's be asked to warn rather than react?

Don't know how helpful or not this will be, but asking to watch out rather than jump in situations and taking control is basically what I've done with particularly uncooperative group of insiders. Still working on this; they basically read people and communication going by old details that are so not applicable and simply aren't. there., headdesk inserted.
So yes. Give out new jobs, establish you're the leader of that pack, establish communication that works for them and doesn't interrupt your current interactions.

 

[sun seeker]

I've never paid attention to what happens to my concept of time when dissociating. I would suspect it slows down, but... I don't even know whether I'd be able to remember to pay attention next time I'm there.

What I do know is when people have tried to tell me that the trauma isn't happening now when I am triggered, it definitely doesn't feel true. It's real to the part of me that's experiencing it now.

with my version of dissociation I have a foot in both the present and the past, a concept of both, but no concept of time and my senses dragged more into a 'parallel universe' kind of feeling.

This is interesting. Perhaps as well as what happens to the sense of time, we could also discuss where we go? My sense of dissociation is that I don't know where I am, like being lost in a maze that separates me from myself and myself from the world, if that makes any sense. Probably not, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either. My awareness isn't really anywhere, it's just "gone".

 

[Hope4Now]

So what is EP's job? To remind me to look at feet....to help me see her. Feet rarely turn in these days. Any thoughts on this? Can EP's be asked to warn rather than react?

Hmmm. I think the EPs job is trying to capture our SELF attention (not the ANP) so that we (in SELF) can heal them...allow them to see who we are now, in time, that they are safe, and that the burdens of fear and grief and anger, etc. that they are holding can be released so they can be children again. Our inner children, but untraumatized ones. I think ANP has to make space for our SELF to communicate directly with EPs. ANP protects and will go on protecting (even in what seem to be self-destructive ways sometimes) until the EPs are healed. The ANP's is to protect the SELF from emotional overwhelm/annihilation. The ANP needs to learn to trust that the SELF can take care of the EPs without resorting to what we had to do during traumatization. Life is different now. The traumas that started this are over. We need to forge new patterns.

So, perhaps as you get to know EP with her feet turned in, that's a sign that she needs your SELF attention before she hijacks you? I have some physical tells for parts that I recognize. If I ignore them, they get more intense. I end up in flashbacks of some sort, or dissociated, or totally numb/auto-pilot etc.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

I think the EPs job is trying to capture our SELF attention (not the ANP) so that we (in SELF) can heal them...allow them to see who we are now, in time, that they are safe, and that the burdens of fear and grief and anger, etc. that they are holding can be released so they can be children again. Our inner children, but untraumatized ones. I think ANP has to make space for our SELF to communicate directly with EPs. ANP protects and will go on protecting (even in what seem to be self-destructive ways sometimes) until the EPs are healed. The ANP's is to protect the SELF from emotional overwhelm/annihilation. The ANP needs to learn to trust that the SELF can take care of the EPs without resorting to what we had to do during traumatization. Life is different now. The traumas that started this are over.

Oh dear, this sounds just right, and is very easy to understand, thank you for this synopsis ... (!)

:hug:

~S2B

 

[shimmerz]

SELF attention (not the ANP)

And what if there is no sense of SELF? Can the EP's work with the ANP until a sense of SELF is tangible?