Fire phill
Bronze Member
Hi, I'm new here.
I apologise for the long blog but this is my story and I have to vent.
Ok where to start. I met my wife 10 years ago , she had been married before and had four kids between Ages 21-10. The marriage was abusive physically, sexually and emotionally.
I knew only what she had told me. I got on well with her kids mostly, apart from teething issues from a new relationship.
Well we fell in love so deeply and for the next few years relative bliss. We also were raising my wife's biological Grand-daughter as or own child, for the rest of this thread I will refer to her as my daughter. She has grown up happy bright and I am so proud of her.
All of my wife's kids from her previous are pretty screwed up and her mother is what could only be described as an engulfing narcissist, her father an enabler, if you get my drift.
I have always been a kind loving father and husband and we were so happy and in love.
Had a problem with her son when he was 16. He attacked me (he was 6ft tall) he had also been abusive physically and verbally to my daughter, even threatened her with a cigarette lighter saying to her he was going to burn her. This all happened 2 weeks after we got married. Now I've never been a violent man but when he attacked me (I was 55 at the time) I felt the fight or flee thing only I couldn't flee as he had my arms pinned and wouldn't let go. Sorry to the meek but I used the only thing I had to hit him to make him let go.
Unfortunately the thing I hit him with was my head. Not hard you have to understand just enough to make him let go. I think him being hit in the face by a football would sum up the impact. No blood or broken bones just a bruised ego. His mother was furious at me and believed her son's side of the story he played to her emotions almost had me arrested. After about a week things calmed down.
Then he started the psychological warfare on me and my daughter whenever his mother wasn't present. This lasted for 2 years until he finally attacked his mother one night. We called the police and he was arrested. The police convinced my wife to drop the charges. His behaviour didn't improve and both my wife and I decided to exclude him from the family home.
2 years followed marital bliss. Then last Christmas there was talk from the family he had changed and wanted to make amends. He started to talk on the phone with my wife. I said if my wife wants to see him, that wouldn't be a problem but she would have to go to him as he wasn't welcome in the house. I was protecting my daughter and myself.
Now the C-PTSD bit. My wife has had horrific nightmares for years. 3 month's ago she went to her GP who diagnosed PTSD and referred her to a mental health unit for assessment.
2 weeks after diagnosis. It was like someone flipped a switch not helped by the fact her mother and father were visiting and stayed for 2 weeks.
My wife said out of the blue that she didn't love me or like me anymore. No discussion no warning.
She claims that I systematically alienated her children from her, I was just like her ex husband, her children all hated me as did her mother and father.
She has hardly spoken to me for 3 month's. Last week I got a letter from her solicitor saying she is filing for a divorce.
Last night we spoke for the first time in month's. She said that at the assessment she was diagnosed with extreme C-PTSD and that I had no idea what she was going through. She has no feelings for me, never wants to be intimate again and that she wants to go it alone.
After the initial diagnosis from her GP I read as much as I could on PTSD to get a better understanding of what she is going through. She just pushes me away wont let me help yet she is ok with her family and everyone else.
I love my wife, I miss her, I want her back. My daughter wants her mum back too
I apologise for the long blog but this is my story and I have to vent.
Ok where to start. I met my wife 10 years ago , she had been married before and had four kids between Ages 21-10. The marriage was abusive physically, sexually and emotionally.
I knew only what she had told me. I got on well with her kids mostly, apart from teething issues from a new relationship.
Well we fell in love so deeply and for the next few years relative bliss. We also were raising my wife's biological Grand-daughter as or own child, for the rest of this thread I will refer to her as my daughter. She has grown up happy bright and I am so proud of her.
All of my wife's kids from her previous are pretty screwed up and her mother is what could only be described as an engulfing narcissist, her father an enabler, if you get my drift.
I have always been a kind loving father and husband and we were so happy and in love.
Had a problem with her son when he was 16. He attacked me (he was 6ft tall) he had also been abusive physically and verbally to my daughter, even threatened her with a cigarette lighter saying to her he was going to burn her. This all happened 2 weeks after we got married. Now I've never been a violent man but when he attacked me (I was 55 at the time) I felt the fight or flee thing only I couldn't flee as he had my arms pinned and wouldn't let go. Sorry to the meek but I used the only thing I had to hit him to make him let go.
Unfortunately the thing I hit him with was my head. Not hard you have to understand just enough to make him let go. I think him being hit in the face by a football would sum up the impact. No blood or broken bones just a bruised ego. His mother was furious at me and believed her son's side of the story he played to her emotions almost had me arrested. After about a week things calmed down.
Then he started the psychological warfare on me and my daughter whenever his mother wasn't present. This lasted for 2 years until he finally attacked his mother one night. We called the police and he was arrested. The police convinced my wife to drop the charges. His behaviour didn't improve and both my wife and I decided to exclude him from the family home.
2 years followed marital bliss. Then last Christmas there was talk from the family he had changed and wanted to make amends. He started to talk on the phone with my wife. I said if my wife wants to see him, that wouldn't be a problem but she would have to go to him as he wasn't welcome in the house. I was protecting my daughter and myself.
Now the C-PTSD bit. My wife has had horrific nightmares for years. 3 month's ago she went to her GP who diagnosed PTSD and referred her to a mental health unit for assessment.
2 weeks after diagnosis. It was like someone flipped a switch not helped by the fact her mother and father were visiting and stayed for 2 weeks.
My wife said out of the blue that she didn't love me or like me anymore. No discussion no warning.
She claims that I systematically alienated her children from her, I was just like her ex husband, her children all hated me as did her mother and father.
She has hardly spoken to me for 3 month's. Last week I got a letter from her solicitor saying she is filing for a divorce.
Last night we spoke for the first time in month's. She said that at the assessment she was diagnosed with extreme C-PTSD and that I had no idea what she was going through. She has no feelings for me, never wants to be intimate again and that she wants to go it alone.
After the initial diagnosis from her GP I read as much as I could on PTSD to get a better understanding of what she is going through. She just pushes me away wont let me help yet she is ok with her family and everyone else.
I love my wife, I miss her, I want her back. My daughter wants her mum back too
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