Strategy During Suicidal Thoughts?

[ms spock]

Fighting for my life now means I engage with the below:

The 10 primary cognitive distortions are:

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.

That is me fighting for my life.

 

[kona355]

@Nikie - Ms Spock's message to you is that it takes an act of willpower to use the list she copied. Using this list is not easy for anyone. We all have different instincts, true. Everyone has different circumstances, some similar, some very different. But also, we have to decide to fight the poison in our minds by putting in truth. This process is the only way to know freedom of any kind.

This list helps to use truth to change how we think about ourselves, our families, and the life we are forced to live at this time.

The key is to decide what truth is best for you now. From what I've read you are in a tough place right now. But you are strong, because you have survived so much hard life. But you must use your strength to be free. I know this is easy for me to say to you, but please know I hope only to encourage you in your fight to be free.

 

[Nikie]

How do you use the list... ?... I have read it a million times before.. But I see no answers on the list.. Only facts..
Yeah my head is losing me .. Right now.. Will it even help to say why? :cry:

 

[stillstanding2]

I Blame my English vocabulary

@nickie, I doubt you'll say anything "wrong" or "rude" English vocabulary is a nightmare to untangle, and you are courageously using it effectively. It confuses all of us at times, particularly myself.

An example is that I completely misread @Ms Spock's message to you at first and had to start over to understand it. She said she "engages with" the 10 types of thinking and behavior which she offered. On first reading, I misunderstood her to be saying that she uses (the 10 items) as her weapons against..." And I couldn't have been more wrong, since she was saying that she "confronts" or "fights" threats to her survival by using the list of things NOT to do. It is a good list. Yet I almost rejected it by misinterpretation.

 

[kona355]

How do you use the list... ?... I have read it a million times before.. But I see no answers on the list...

stillstanding2 explains the use of the list very well. It is a guide how to avoid the kinds of thoughts that hurt us. If you can find just one thing on the list that speaks to how, about how you think or react, then start with that one thing on the list and begin to avoid doing that one thing. Will it totally change your life? No, but it will begin a process of changing. You can do this even while struggling with your circumstances.

It makes me think of being in a hurricane. There are things we can do to protect ourselves, to take shelter, even while the storm rages around us. We can't change the storm, but can change how we protect ourselves. Does this make sense?

When I first started learning about what was going on in my mind, not too much made sense in the early days. But the more I read and thought about what the books were teaching, I slowly began to understand a little. I know because you are seeking, that if you keep trying, you will learn and grow, and you will begin to change your life, slowly. Many people say this same thing here on the forum, how hard it is getting started.

 

[stillstanding2]

How do you use the list... ?...

Learning to use the list is a matter of conscious, patient practice. It is the process of recognizing which of your behaviors and thoughts are on that list, and finding ways to avoid thinking and behaving that way.

For example, #4 on the list is "Disqualifying the positive" We have seen that you are entirely too apologetic about your command of English. Yet it is not your native language. You are not fully crediting yourself with the courage and persistence you are showing.

 

[Nikie]

I feel so cornered... :nailbiting:

about the English i use wrong words like virgin-version embarrassing!!!
Their - there I never know the right one
Wish - witch...which ???? witch one is whitch urghhhh and then I dunno the one to use "watter een" for
Latest one was
Reagent ---> region
And on and on and on.... but translate is permanently open now so its better..

And I can asosiate with all of those on the list ...
And i realy see nothing wrong with nr 1its good to be right or wrong there is no in between..
But the others I feel ashamed of . but if there is a list like that and me feeling like this I need the oposits of it.
Thanks for the advise... And the effort you have put in .. I feel rely rely rely bad today.. Tomorrow will be one of the worse days in my live .. And I believe there is a lot of errors in here cos I am sweating of anxiousness .. Thanks for spell check :)

 

[Gadgie]

Yea! the English language is hard to understand, quite a lot of words have double meanings, example..........There,...means a place, like .....over there

Their,..means belongs to them, (plural, means more than one.)

Whole.........as in, complete, or they liked the Whole of it.

Hole......as in, a hole dug into the ground.

The list could go on for ages, but the spell/grammar checker does a "great" job.

Grate..........meaning a fire grate.

 

[stillstanding2]

I feel so cornered... :nailbiting:

@nikiie, you are NOT cornered. Keep talking. We're listening. Can you tell us what it is about today and tomorrow that is so frightening?

We don't care about formal English here, so forget about your unfamiliarity with it. You are making yourself very well heard. You are tough and compassionate enough to seek help from the other side of the planet for yourself, your kids and your husband. We admire that, and I hope we can help you. Please keep our well-wishes in mind.

And do not lose hope.

 

[Nikie]

Yea! the English language is hard to understand, quite a lot of words have double meanings, example........

Gadgie thànk you. You made me smile :) and not the one to "flous" people the real one ..

 

[Nikie]

@nikiie, you are NOT cornered. Keep talking. We're listening. Can you tell us what it is about...

Just feel cornered it's okey thanks stilstanding I do appreciate those words. Just so you no I said something in my diary ...( i use to said dairy lol). I am learning a lot

 

[stillstanding2]

Just feel cornered it's okey thanks stilstanding I do appreciate those words. Just so you no I said some...

Hah! It's one thing to try to learn the spellings of English words. It is another to try to understand all the different ways they are pronounced. I'm in Texas, where we are notorious for how we pronounce things. There are parts of Texas where you almost wouldn't be able to tell whether a person meant "diary" or "dairy"! Keep writing, dear, and thanks for the note.