Has A Date Ever Pushed You To Do Something You Didn't Want To?

[Lakaci]

Oh the old Netflix and Chill. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

 

[Ebas]

Oh the old Netflix and Chill. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

Thanks. At the time I thought may be I'm overreacting in freaking out over it, but the more time passes, the less I find excuses for how he acted. Not only then, but after. It was scary. And worst of all, I'm not sure he really understood that whatsoever, that the way he act wasn't okay.

 

[Akowe]

Yes, this has happened to me.

Addendum to Laurie's "No" statement... Only yes means yes.

 

[Givu]

You did what you had to do to survive. It seems like fight or flight mode kicked in. When it kicks in for me, i freeze. like i literally don't move because i am scared that if i move, i will explode. Sometimes even saying no or being resistant can bring about more problems.
I know how this feels. I have done things sexually that i really didn't want to because i didn't want to be a prude or because i felt obligated to give them something for all the things they were doing for me. It was like a performance i put on like an actress. I now kick myself for acting the way i did at the time, like someone else had taken over my body. this is why i don't want to date anymore.
Just hang in there, it's going to be OK and you didn't do anything wrong. He was the one who went too far.

 

[Cobul]

This is how I ended up in a domestically violent relationship for 13 years....only I did go to the second date...thats when things got real bad and my entrapment happened. It is good you recognize this. If I could go back and talk to my past self I would advise me to wait for a relationship or date of any kind until I am strong enough to defend myself.

 

[Idune]

They've tried and I flipped the f*ck out that they never came back. Consent is consent no matter what and don't feel pressure to do anything you don't want to do OR feel bad about that person; he was a little shyte.

 

[Amegi]

This is why I avoid everything. Guys don't understand the word NO!

 

[Jage]

That's when you throat punch them ;)

 

[Holi]

I'm gonna buck the trend here and say the guy may have thought he was totally in bounds. You don't kiss on the first date? How old are you? I mean this respectfully, but in the Tinder age where people are going to bed on the first date, if you can call it that, he may have thought you were pulling a demur act, and fully expected and wanted him to kiss you.

Not only did I not stop him but I actually used my best kissing techniques.

Also this suggests on some level, you really did want him to kiss you, and he read it. I say this because I was surprise kissed on a date with a guy I wasn't that into, and to say I didn't kiss back would be an understatement. It must have been like kissing a corpse for him.

So I'm thinking maybe the real problem here is being out on a date with a guy you don't want to kiss in the first place. No?

 

[Bewut]

I agree with one of the other people who post about not dating until you are ready. Unfortunately the social dating norms are different and a lot of people don't value the idea of taking their time to get to know each other first.
Speaking from a place of having sex with a man and regretting it later; I have learned that my emotional bounds tied can be very blurred so I have been very careful to guard my heart.
If you didn't want to be kissed that was your choice.
I think as women since a lot of us tend to equate sex with love it's hard to determine when we are truly ready to give that special part of us to a man.
I have been in a borderline abusive relationship with a man who was ten years older than me.
Sometimes I didn't want to have sex with him however I would go along with it. Although I didn't regret our encounters what used to be a *trigger* for me was his control issues especially over my answering the cell phone.
So now when a man even makes a joke about answering the phone I will literally snap.
Currently I have men attracted to me however I am working on my relationship with my sweetheart. He will be moving closer to me by the end of the summer.
I would just say to everyone out there take your time to get to know the guy; it's very important.
This world is instantaneous with social media and I don't think it matters how old we are sometimes people feel like if they don't keep up with the times they will get left behind. So sometimes we do things to stay current.
I have been there and done that but now I choose to take my time especially when it comes to men.