Recent content by 7lonewolf7

This is my first diary, so I'm not sure of the etiquette or expectations. I'm starting one to help with processing and therapy. Today was okay. I talked to Andrew and he confirmed for me that even externally I seem like I've given up. I experience every symptom of PTSD, and depending on the...

Of course you can share! That's why I really like this place; it lets you know you're not alone when other people share. I'm still very much struggling. I had to create some boundaries with my SO, because he has been exhibiting some toxic behavior. He is going through his own struggles right...

It has been awhile since I've been here. I've had someone close to me to share my ptsd experience with, so I have had help managing some of my symptoms. But this is the month I was sexually assaulted so I'm having a really hard time just existing. I'm struggling with my negative emotions being...

I have fallen in love with someone unavailable and I don't know how to let go. They mean so much to me so I don't want to lose them, but I don't know how to sustain our unorthodox relationship. I have been putting up with so much to keep us close, and a part of me is ready to cut ties, but my...

I'm currently struggling with this too. I'm discovering there are new fears and anxieties I have in me that are making really hard to feel safe around people I consider friends. I'm having to relearn how to express my boundaries because I never had the chance as a kid; growing up in a...

So one of my closest friend, if not my closest, called me last night to talk about some drama at her work because it relates to my manager. We work at 2 different companies but my manager volunteers at hers. My manager and I have gotten pretty close and that makes her weary so she does her best...

I have this same problem too and right now it's 5am and I haven't been able to fall back asleep in the last 2hrs cause I had a pretty emotional day. The day was filled with positive emotions but because they remind me of my source of trauma, I'm having a hard time processing them

I do everything I can to compartmentalize my life because privacy and safety means so much to me. My family is the root cause of my anxiety disorder, and my ex is the direct cause of my PTSD. So I need to separate the two lives as such, in order to not self-destruct. And in the process, I must...

Yeah I need to find a therapist that I feel comfortable talking to but I have to wait until I get on my own insurance, which unfortunately could take another 12weeks. So at the moment I'm struggling being my own therapist lol shit is exhausting and draining

I'm discovering that I'm just not good about sharing my emotions if they feel negative. I internalize a lot so it actually feels uncomfortable talking about my emotions and thoughts, even with therapists (well really only one). But I need to over come this because I want to retry being in a...

I'm the complete opposite. When I feel scared, which happens off and on I'm the complete opposite with how I react to fear. I internalize it cause that's how I had to grow up. Cause of my ptsd and how closely it relates to everyday life, I struggle with panic attacks on a daily basis. But...

Everything hurts and I feel so consumed with pain. A part of me feels like it's due to my birth control that I feel so worthless right now (i take the 3 month one so it's a lot of hormones), but I also feel like I'm just still so broken and any feeling of intimacy terrifies me where I just...

I started this new job a few weeks ago and I've been hitting it off with a fellow employee. We talk pretty often throughout the week and we've even gone bar hopping together. I think I'm developing a crush on him and he on I. While outside of work we flirt and it's nice but I've noticed I've...

Thank you so much for the tips and advice!! I don't think I'm even there yet, where I can feel comfortable being in the same bed with another guy with full on clothes. I'm just frustrated with how far behind I feel I am. I'm fine with a quick hug but anything more freaks me out and I can feel...

Like why I'm a like this? What happened to me? Why/how I have ptsd? These kinds of questions is what I'm afraid to talk about. I feel like they'd abandon me out of frustration and lack of patience due to my ptsd. I think I might also have abandonment issues that link with the rape so I'm also...