Recent content by cupfish

This thread is mean-spirited. We are supposed to be a fellowship here. I had the virus, I am not getting the vaccine, and my entire family has shunned me. They will not be in the same room as me. You want to talk about a super trigger? I come here for support from people who do not JUDGE...

PTSD wants everything inside of you, all the time. Sad mad guilty shameful regrets anxiety, you name it. It wants to own every moment of every day and night. PTSD tells you there is no end to your suffering. This is true. But your identity is not your sickness. This is a hard reality. You...

Why can't my emotions be sized to my something I can try to handle? Why are my emotions overwhelmingly huge? I shouldn't feel this much pain and sadness and loss and suffering, it's too much for one soul. I am so tired of the pain. Every day of my life has been like this. Im 56 years old...

no, we are trying to sell our house (his giant trigger) and relocate 1,000 miles away - when we get settled we can invest in our Ts.

My husband remains suicidal, probably more so now than in the 15 years I know him. What's hard is to hear the blame hurled my way. I don't listen, I want him smiling all the time (no, I just don't want him DEAD), if my job was more successful he'd feel better, and I badger him, and and and...

I am 100% with you. It's the hardest part of PTSD -- you don't want to live but you can't die. Prayers, I have to be careful with minor self-harm when I'm down in the hole.

It's a hard way to exist, I am there too. I want to fade away....leave no trace like a footprint in the surf. But I can't. So pray for that giant asteroid or a pandemic, because that's our best play. Or risky behaviors like drinking yourself to death. Look, it is possible to wish for death...

My husband is like this. He can compartmentalize anything until it's down to a black/white decision. It's a selfish coping technique because you force everyone into your analysis/coping mechanism routine who wants a relationship with you. Husb clings to concept of benefits of being raised in...

giving up hope is freeing in a weird way. you stop pretending.

not going to happen. It's one of our best arenas. Always mutual, respectful, superior. (hey you don't marry a headcase without some really good reasons to stay with the guy)

Solving or not solving the problem that he has created is also 100% his, isn't it? I am listening. Tired of being cowed. Tired of secretly fuming.

I am not hopeful any longer. Why bother? The facts of my life are X, my options are Y. That's what I got, it is not changing, it never does. Last weekend I began to recognize this feeling as grief. So. Much. Loss. Loss of friends, family, security, support, loss of any kind of meaningful...

Husb is CPTSD with social anxiety. I am CPTSD too. He went off his meds without warning, cold turkey, and didn't tell me. SSRI, so he emotionally soured almost immediately, told me after 2 weeks (of being nasty and having episodes again) he booted the pills. Here's where I am at: Forward...

My husband and I are both C-PTSD. I think you two should have right-sized ambitions for your relationship, meaning don't look for the white picket fence and 2.2 kids and happiness and normalcy. A lot of PTSD is the isolation of mental illness, and getting out of that is possible when your mate...