Recent content by Fallfox984

It's not that I think the affair was my fault as much as it's the way that everything was affected in the aftermath. It was really complex. My parents both took their anger out on me instead of each other. When my mom found out about the affair, she kicked me out with my dad. Made me pack up all...

In therapy I've been focusing a lot more on CPTSD and a specific relational trauma in my childhood that had probably the biggest impact on me. I did my first EMDR session on it a few months ago and I just felt this massive feeling of grief/loss. At first we thought I was grieving the parent I...

I have a lot of trauma from my parents' separation when I was a preteen. My dad had an affair and left our family, and my mom kind of just lost it for awhile after that. Before my dad's affair, he and I were really close, and I could feel that he loved me a lot. Afterwards, he became really...

Oh wow, that's exactly how I feel. My therapist is a little more neutral and I worry she thinks I was an awful kid and that what my parents did was justified. In my logical mind, I know that's not true, but deep in my core, I believe it fully. Trauma is so tough. Sending you love on your healing...

Thank you all for all of your support. You all are so wonderful and definitely make me feel less alone ❤️

Whenever I talk to my therapist about things that happened when I was little, I feel embarrassed and ashamed later. One of the biggest times was when I talked about being slapped really hard when I was a toddler. It does feel exposing, but it doesn't seem like it's just because it feels too...

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your mom. My mom attempted suicide while I was home when I was 10. That messed me up pretty bad, I think. I decided not to have kids because I was scared that one day I wouldn't be able to handle life and I'd follow in my mom's footsteps. I didn't...

I've been in therapy for the past year and have had lot of realizations that have mostly just felt heart-shattering. I have CPTSD and the depth of not feeling loved/cared for/seen, even in my adult life feels awful. I've always had SI to some extent, in the sense that I've always kicked the...

The more my trauma comes to the surface, the more pain I feel and I realize how overwhelming it has been to hold it all inside for my while life. Sometimes the thing that makes me feel better is imagining I'm on a beach alone just wailing. I imagine that I just scream and scream until I don't...

What a great idea for a thread! I realize that being around people who don't "see" me is a huge trigger for my emptiness/loneliness. I always just thought my loneliness was a part of me and that I was broken, but actually it's just a sign that I still need to heal.

She just says that EMDR is gold standard treatment for trauma and the conversation doesn't really go far from there

I've been with my therapist for 8 months and have a history of complex relational trauma. I initially came to my therapist because her website said she does brainspotting, somatic therapy, psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, among other things. I was hoping we could do some somatic work, but she let me...