Recent content by hope4us

i just cannot function anymore. i cant think straight. i cant remember anything. im always distracted by everything. if i get started on one thing, within the first minute im already distracted by something else, than something distracts me from that. my mood swings are completely crazy. i have...

i notice it mostly when im sitting in my car. i cant do anything ever without the constant anxious feeling inside me that someone is going to sneak up on me, and than stand there and watch me, and when i turn my head towards the window ill suddenly see them standing right right there beside me...

this past year of my life has been the worst part of my entire 25 years that ive been "alive". i found a guy who i really liked, but he became abusive, he forced me to stay with him by threatening me, strangled me til i blacked out daily for months, constantly screamed at me and degraded me and...

what if i dont have money to see a psychiatrist? and there is a thousand more crazy things going on with me, this is only a very small part of it all. i write about it more in my next post if your interested

i stayed at a hotel one time, and got eaten alive by bed bugs, i woke up with literally 50 bites all over my body, they itched like hell, it was horrible, and the hotel wouldnt do anything about it. sometimes after someone experiences something like that they might develop a phobia of them...

sometimes when i get extremely overwhelmed with negative emotions especially anger, i have really bad outbursts where i lose control of myself and yell and throw things and break things. sometimes i dont remember saying certain things that i supposedly said. or ill find certain things are...

i have complex ptsd from an abusive relationship, and i have specific phobia too, but im not sure if the phobia has anything to do with the ptsd, because there are some things i think i remember happening, but im not sure if they actually happened or not. and i am too scared to go to exposure...

i just moved into a new place and whoever lived here before me brought roaches in here and i am deathly afraid of them. ive done everything to try to get rid of them. ive taped and calk glued all the cracks, taped up the air vents, sprayed eight hundred thousand different sprays, covered...

i had an episode of extreme time loss today, it was so bad that it literally freaked me out. i looked at the clock around 5:00 pm. than i texted some friends, took a shower, and went outside to smoke a ciggarrate. when i got back inside it seemed like about 20 minutes had passed since i checked...

but its all day all the time im like this like i cant even funtion and it seems like nothing ever gets done, ive known some people who have ptsd who are still able to function, everyone has days like this but for me its every day all day long yes and thankyou for bringing it to my attention...

i know memory loss can be a symptom of ptsd for some people, but mine is like to the point where i cant even funtion, and i feel like im losing my mind. i forget major things, like somoene sent me a lot of money and i completely forgot about it for a few hours until something reminded me of it...

for example: there were a few times when something happened which reminded me of things in my past and i ended up in a dissociative state for hours after that. but yet, there are other times like this morning when i was way more overwhelmed and stressed out, but i didnt dissociate this morning...

for example i was talking to someone yesterday and i thought he said something about his friends brother was threatening him with a knife an gonna stab him. and than i was asking my friend about it and told her i wasnt sure if the guy had actually told me that or if my mind had made it up. she...

a few times i woke up screaming, but not only that, but i was also covered in goosebumps, and drenched in sweat , even tho it wasnt even hot. i was having nightmares, but they didnt relate to my past trauma in any way. ive heard that goosebumps, or "chills" are a sign that something is up. like...

I survived long term ongoing trauma. and i feel like a part of who i use to be is now dead. sometimes when things got too overwhelmed to cope, a part of me would leave myself and shut down. i didnt care as much, and i didnt feel as much emotion when this happened. than i would come back to...