I feel chronically numb to the country I live in.

Fellow hardy souls,

Perhaps this a bit weird, but I don't like my country to the point of it being kind of traumatic.

I used to somehow relate it, and now I relate it zero percent. I dislike the culture, the mentality, the mindset, to the point where I just dissociate and feel nothing.
Perhaps if I didn't have trauma, I would feel more normal in relation to it, but I don't.

I don't suposse I'm the only one, since a lot of countries are engaged in some kind of intense turmoil, but I don't know how to handle it.
Like many here, for my own sanity, I have already decided to live under a rock and cut ties with everything that is traumatizing, including television.

So I'm not really sure what else I can do to make this any better. Moving is not an option right now (lack of funds).
I go abroad sometimes for a while, but it only helps for a very short while.

Seeing the positives of the country is not something I want to try. As stupid as that might sound.
I prefer somehow changing myself to feel more positive. Any suggestions as to how?

Eagle

I struggle with the same thing. I have gone as far as perfecting my New Zealand citizenship. I have decided moving when my head isn’t right isn’t a good idea sine such a move would certainly add more stress in the short term and quite frankly, I really don’t know who I am. I am not a TV person and I really feel out of touch with popular culture, at least I have that going for me. Anyway, you are far from alone.

Upside Down Eagle said:

Fellow hardy souls,

Perhaps this a bit weird, but I don't like my country to the point of it being kind of traumatic.

I used to somehow relate it, and now I relate it zero percent. I dislike the culture, the mentality, the mindset, to the point where I just dissociate and feel nothing.
Perhaps if I didn't have trauma, I would feel more normal in relation to it, but I don't.

I don't suposse I'm the only one, since a lot of countries are engaged in some kind of intense turmoil, but I don't know how to handle it.
Like many here, for my own sanity, I have already decided to live under a rock and cut ties with everything that is traumatizing, including television.

So I'm not really sure what else I can do to make this any better. Moving is not an option right now (lack of funds).
I go abroad sometimes for a while, but it only helps for a very short while.

Seeing the positives of the country is not something I want to try. As stupid as that might sound.
I prefer somehow changing myself to feel more positive. Any suggestions as to how?

Eagle

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Struggling myself. Very traumatized by shooting on Saturday. I don't know how to feel better. My husband is a veteran has ptsd never treated refuses to say he has issues. He believes in a second civil war. I can hardly cope. We got a new used car. Sold our old to wheelzy. Had issues with them regarding the lien although it was signed off paid off in October 2024. Been at this for a week. Finally filed complaint with NM attorney general FTC. Personal issues- calls bill pay etc taking forever to resolve if problem arises. AI taking over. I am so sorry for all of us in the US. We live in a rural conservative small area . They do not live in reality. I will not associate with anyone here any more. We have a veteran here - vietnam war- who drives around with AR 15s in his truck. People here whose spiritual beliefs exceed critical thinking. People here very biased judgemental. People on drugs overdosing. They are waiting for someone to save them. I am still looking at news keeping up with social security medicare. I don't know what to say. Read? Listen to calming music? Review psycho education in trauma? Cry? Grieve? I have 2 dogs- my legal ESAs. If you have pets hug them?

Lost in the Woods said:

I have decided moving when my head isn’t right isn’t a good idea sine such a move would certainly add more stress

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That sounds like 'sound judgement'. On the other hand, can't hurt to maybe go there for a while?

KA60 said:

Read? Listen to calming music? Review psycho education in trauma? Cry? Grieve? I have 2 dogs- my legal ESAs. If you have pets hug them?

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Sorry to hear you're also having such a hard time with it. I'm based somewhere else than US, but even then the whole thing feels bonkers.

So far stoicism is pretty much the best solution, although it does involve me "not feeling anything". I just go outside, pretend that it isn't there and go back home. It kind of helps to focus on green stuff; plants, foliage. Things that are "in flux" or that can be observed to be in some state of perpetual transformation. After all, they (trees, bushes) don't care. The leaves will continue to grow.

Upside Down Eagle said:

So far stoicism is pretty much the best solution, although it does involve me "not feeling anything".

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If stoicism speaks to you but you miss feeling things, maybe Camus would resonate? I see his thinking as taking the best of stoicism but also including the fullest beauty and deepest tragedy of the human condition. Like, you don’t have to trade feeling and living life to the full for reaching some kind of equinimity.

I am often outside too. I have resumed some diy home decor. There are radicalized people in our rural community so I will not associate with them. The other part of me emails and calls the senators and congress members in my state on behalf of social security. I don't do that all the time. I have resumed my psychoeducation and reinforced my trauma recovery guidelines. No doubt this is a mess in the US. One day at a time. The only way out is through. Early voting in my area in the primaries is May 5. I will be there. Oh. I got my RSV vaccine 2 days ago. Too many people have lost all respect for health care providers and treatment plans. Not me.

Freemartin said:

maybe Camus would resonate?

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Great suggestion Freemartin, never heard of him. I do tend to go into apathy where stoicism is concerned, so it might be good for me to read a 'human' approach.

KA60 said:

I am often outside too. I have resumed some diy home decor.

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I'm glad you're being proactive. Probably the best attitude.