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Nothing is wrong with you. You went through a traumatic experience and have unpleasant lasting effects because of it.

The worst thing thats going to happen is you dont get the job, which would put you in exactly the same situation you were in before you knew they were interested in you/that you had an interview.

Thanks. I guess I can tell myself good job for being mature with her and stuff, but I don't feel like oh I'm so far along in my recovery etc. I mean I guess I've come a long ways and I'm proud of that but its not like I get to just bask in the glory of that, it still just feels really lonely to...

Well I did it. It was really not that bad. She is harmless now. Weak and unhappy and not capable of being honest with herself but she has little to no power to hurt me. We talked for a couple hours. I gave her the sugar coated version of why I don't feel close to her, basically just told her I...

I think maybe you need a vacation.

This felt like something I should and could do when I made these plans. Now that its this afternoon I am feeling far less capable of dealing with it. My emotional state is ugg this is going to suck. I know I can do it though. I do feel like I owe her at least a conversation.

Thanks for the replies. I'm doing pretty ok right now, just kind of torn, part of me wants to really be honest with her about how messed up she was to me, and confront her about the weird sexual things. THen I think that won't do any good and I should just state the fact I felt she never seemed...

Thank you gizmo. I guess you're right and I should pat myself on the back and be proud of that. I have been processing things since seeing her this morning and I just feel sad. I don't feel angry at her any more because it really wasnt her fault she was born with NPD, but it just makes me feel...

On the surface, to a strangers eyes, my mother would of seemed a normal caring mother, but she is an actress, I believe she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is the woman who was emotionally and sexually abusive towards me. The sexual abuse was not THAT bad as far as I can remember...

I am so sorry that an adult that you trusted did this to you. It was not your fault.

You're not taking tramadol are you? That is a side effect. Try not to stress about it I guess. Easier said than done.

OK its not easy at all the hit that off button. The first step is just reminding yourself every time you notice that you're doing it, just tell yourself, ok, these are my issues, its not my neighbors, its my hypervigilance, etc. It sounds silly but I've found if I just take a step back and look...

Ya. Maybe. She wasn't good for me in some ways but she was so amazing, so gorgeous, good at so many things, funny, I really enjoyed interacting with her for the most part. Even if I never meet anyone as alluring and exciting to me as she was, thats life. All I can do now is look forward and do...

Yea I've had some neighbors that didn't like me either. Maybe it isn't cus you're weird, maybe its just because they are unfriendly? Or maybe people are standoffish at first and take time to warm up to someone? Other people have issues too you know. Maybe your desire to interact with them on a...

Identity issues like gay or straight will sort themselves out with time. For now, just make healthy choices. You have identified habits that are not healthy, for now just try and make healthy choices and take things one day at a time. I really think the gay/straight thing really isnt that...

I hope this doesnt come off as insensitive, but you do realize they have every right to behave as they are right? It kind of sounds like you do realize that, I just wanted to check. Nothing wrong with putting up a privacy fence, it surely won't hurt your neighbors at all. I would, however...

I think crying, like really truly deeply bawling, releases a lot of toxins stored up in your body. At least thats my best guess. I can't remember for sure but I think I've had that happen.

Yes it is, but that accomplishment won't hit home until a relationship actually happens. Until then I mostly just can't help but feeling that I will never meet anyone else like her. I guess thats ok. Even if I never meet anyone, I am more at peace now as a person.

Just having a hard time accepting that a relationship that was very important to me is done because I couldn't stop sabotaging and pushing her away. Its the truth, its done, there isn't much doubt left, its just hard to accept. Hurts. I can't blame her though, if I were in her shoes I would be...

I don't think a therapist is going to send you to a mental institution just for saying you were thinking about suicide. I think they would need to think you were at least thinking very serious about attempting it. If you tell them that you are thinking about suicide, although not seriously...

I have had these thoughts too. If you want to be able to enjoy the peace and solitude that comes from being away from other people and not having to deal with them at all, I would suggest following through on those thoughts. I would also suggest though, that before you do something that will...

I often enjoy cooking and eating, but sometimes they both just seem like a chore I would rather do without.

That is called an emotional flashback. The memories and sensory stuff doesnt come back fully in the flashback, but the emotions sure do.

The loss of the relationship is painful but what is so much more painful is the knowledge that I am always me greatest enemy, she tried so hard to love me and I just couldn't let it happen. Its so done though. I've been working hard at driving a stake into its heart for two and a half years...

Still doing this. Still do it allthe time. When I have active thoughts I recognize as being negative towards myself I am working to challenge and overcome them but this is different because the desire to push everyone away is uncontrollable the fact that those who might like or love me will...