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I know what others will say, been there. "If you really love yourself, you wouldn't do it." Or, "It's a sign that I'm hurting deeply inside." Yup. Good connection. Maybe the way I've done it varies from how others think. Off and on for 20 yrs I've engaged in it and at times it was out of anger...

I find that I hum a lot quietly though trying to not draw attention. I also pick at my fingers, wrap my arms hugging my body, and I always have my blanket nearby that is very soothing. Seldom do I like being touched when I'm like this but every once in awhile I like my head massaged and to be...

My T and "us" are working on accepting my multiple psych dx and more general, me. It's hard. We don't understand how it's even possible. Some parts can consider it while others want to fight it. Or its more of a black and white view. T says that the more focus on trying to fight the system, it...

Me too...the thoughts are rampid but fail to be verbalized...

Same here but its a silent one(most times). But, I guess I'm "falsely" fighting it because I'm dissociating all the time. Some want to fight in the productive sense while others fight to go backwards. Little do others know, how many times a day SI plays through my minds. Death has cheated us...

I am the same way right now and just walked in the pouring cold rain. Despite some relief, the dissociation goes up and on those two nights every week I'm lucky if I get 2 hours of sleep. My T knows but it is what it is.

I can only hope but I sense its an area of wonder vs knowing from experience. It scares me to think about your statement. I can't imagine going to anyone else. I'm one of those who care and love deeply aand have lost so many along the way. Years ago when I very first started therapy I was placed...

Yes, I'm in "treatment" with the qualifications needed from T. Yes, I have the official dx of DIDnos on top of mdd recurrent and severe, GAD, ADHD, borderline personality, ptsd, and DID. I'm being monitored and see her 2x a week.

The latest symptoms: GI distress, stomach aches, hot flash followed by dizziness and dripping with sweat. I'm also in a lot of pain in my legs, lower back and shoulders. The weight of the world right on my weakened shoulders. Then add all the usual PTSD symptoms like dissociation, flashbacks...

The last few sessions I've had with my T, I end up wanting to end early and run out. There are different levels of severity; sometimes I've dissociated so badly I "wake" up and have no idea what's going on and the room becomes very small and someone inside is telling me to get out. My T knows...

I too was in individual therapy along with weekly DBT group plus available phone contact in between. 2 years of DBT round one and then retook it again for a year. When the emotional parts come out, I can go from a 6 down to negative often ruminating about suicidal ideation. I have mindfully...

Yes, I took DBT on two separate occasions but like everything, the information gets lost. School was rather difficult for me. Teachers would say I have a switch that goes off and on. Perhaps was that the first indication of dissociation?

I too have been on numourous rx and back then I had no idea what they were and trusted the Dr. I gained a ton of weight which feeds into my hx of eating disorders so. I'm guarded and have much more insight about psy meds. I will not be drugged out but more looking for something to help manage my...

I know I'm under medicated and currently working on a new rx provider who specializes in my specialties. With the amount of anxiety I endure, only leaves me exhausted.

And they talk all day and I have no clue what they're saying. And I'm at work trying to keep quiet and act "normal" but, but...

As if it can't feel more horrible than I do today got worse. At work. I have given my best to preserve my integrity but no one wants to listen forcing my collapse. The dissociative parts can't hide. No longer

Well, at least this time, this spiral downward, was one that could of been prevented. One trauma after another for the last 2 years on top of a hx of childhood trauma has officially kicked my butt. Each one so totally different from another leaving no time to even get my head wrapped around what...

Thank you for the kind words. My best friend, the only friend, is retiring next week after years of hard work, and I'm crushed-again. I failed to mention I was in an accident on Halloween and hit a child and since then other trauma has happened and I can't keep having one after another. The...

The dissociation is has engulfed every part of whoever I am and the body. I can't hide it. I can't enjoy it. I can't do it anymore. This has been my entire life and I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I should not be here after a car accident that should of killed me.

I can't even write my thoughts I'm so messed up to say the least. And it's so scary;again

Last Fri I was in a rollover and walked away unharmed. But why?

Thank you, I needed to hear that. I'm hoping and can only think she'll respond that way.

I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way. Every two months or so something terrible happens. This time I might of hit bottom. I don't want to be in the hospital, and I can't be without my license either. In a nutshell the following has taken place in 18 months: Discovered my husband having a...

There is no future. We live minute by minute in survival mode. And our world just got flipped upside down. My only coworker, but more of a treasured friendship, the only felt friendship in our life. Told us she's done. 2 weeks. And now, literally there is no one. And every feeling of abandoment...

I don't know at this time. Isolation. That's whats working to find relief from the world. I'm not certain its working for the actual people around me. I have no idea who "I" am or who I ever was. Its heartbreaking