I Need To Tell My T Something But I'm Afraid

[Punky143]

I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way. Every two months or so something terrible happens. This time I might of hit bottom. I don't want to be in the hospital, and I can't be without my license either. In a nutshell the following has taken place in 18 months: Discovered my husband having a texting relationship but once that stopped I kept finding charges on the bank account. Adult websites. After, a good friend announces she's moving and maybe a month later, another close friend. After, my grandmother fell ill and spent 1.5 weeks in the hospital dying. I was with her most of the time and its something I would never change. Right after was the tipping point. Discovered my child was sexually assaulted at the community center along with 7 others. My husband wanting to deny anything happened leaving me to head this war alone. Then not too long after was in a vehicle accident. And hit a child. I developed gallstones from the stress and required surgery and 1 night stay. The triggers were horrible. Then my cherished coworker tells me she gave her notice of retirement. The same night, I flipped my car. I walked away with a superficial bruise and thats it. But I was literally delirious blaming the bad parts for wanting to kill us. I'm still convinced. I blacked out. Bad this time. But I don't want things taken away either. She's been so nice dealing with my hell called life. We're going to loose it if and when we tell her....

 

[mrsmegan]

Oh I'm so sorry - it looks like you have had SO MUCH going on in your life. It is understandable that anyone, even a "mentally healthy" person, would have some seriously emotional/mental impacts of all of that - layer on PTSD, I can imagine it must be terrible.

I also understand your fear of letting your T in, but you also know that this person is there for that very reason. They are there to give you space to talk through your hell, and to see you through to the other side. Any T who is worth anything will not abandon you if you are honest about where you are at - chances are they will admire you for being brave.

 

[Punky143]

Oh I'm so sorry - it looks like you have had SO MUCH going on in your life. It is understandable that...

Thank you, I needed to hear that. I'm hoping and can only think she'll respond that way.

 

[FauxLiz]

@Punky143 You have been through a significant amount of stress and challenges that I agree with @mrsmegan would have been hard for a mentally healthy person. Remember you are strong and your T is there to support you all of you. Take your time maybe write it out you can do this.