And the chitter chatters are back

[Punky143]

And they talk all day and I have no clue what they're saying. And I'm at work trying to keep quiet and act "normal" but, but...

 

[Forgetful]

I've got no advice really, as I've got them too.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Antipsychotics helped tame them but I stopped taking them because of side effects.

 

[Punky143]

I know I'm under medicated and currently working on a new rx provider who specializes in my specialties. With the amount of anxiety I endure, only leaves me exhausted.

 

[FireSign8]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but did you ever consider the simple fact that these "chitter chatters" are just tired of being ignored & pushed back into the eaves of your mind with meds? Have your tried other forms of communicating with them? In the stead of talking aloud to them, how about keeping it simple & writing down a question or 2 for them to answer in silent communication back to you? I had really great feedback over my first "encounters" with the unseen who I thought were screwing with me & I realized they were just lost in the time of the unseen "other world" & searching for a little help. They helped me & I like to think I helped them because they no longer bug the hell out of me when I'm trying to sleep or get stuff done out in public. I guess I just lost my fear of the "unknown" & it was a therapist who first gave me the idea that these "voices" were not all bad for all of us. I tried the meds & hated the feeling of being alone. I felt dead inside. I wanted to get along with my "chitter chatters" & I finally was able to achieve that sense of inner peace & oneness with "them"! They are really great "helpers" when a person is in need of inspiration & creative assistance!:hug:

 

[FireSign8]

I just re read your question & I see I missed a few important facts. You say "they talk all day & you have no clue what they are saying". I would get a book of the world or a map & ask them where they are from. It is possible they are unable to speak English or adapt, so pointing would work for this. Try it & see. They could also be from a native American Indian tribe & your location could be an old sacred space. Don't get freaked out. They most likely just want to say HI! :playful:

 

[Forgetful]

@Punky143 if you decide to take meds to help them please research them before you begin. I didn't , but I wish I had. I had taken a few different ones over the past 20 years without realizing they were all antipsychotics. Added together for a total of only 2-3 years. I now have Tardif Dyskinesia (uncontrollable muscle movements). A lifelong gift because of them. Basically unless I'm asleep a part of me is always moving. My last mammo took 4 tries before they got a clear shot. Any dental work needs laughing gas sedation. It's exhausting and embarrassing!! It sucks! I now research ALL my medications.

After stopping the last med 9 months ago they're back. I call them whispers and they're only 1 of of many of my auditory hallucinations.

 

[Punky143]

I too have been on numourous rx and back then I had no idea what they were and trusted the Dr. I gained a ton of weight which feeds into my hx of eating disorders so. I'm guarded and have much more insight about psy meds. I will not be drugged out but more looking for something to help manage my anxiety level. I'm at a standstill in therapy until I get something. But, most of the parts are willing to give up at this point. Because, like always, no one will comprehend the extent to which I feel emotions and my hx.

 

[joeylittle]

Because, like always, no one will comprehend the extent to which I feel emotions and my hx.

Forgive me if I've asked you this....but are you doing DBT for your Borderline dx?

 

[Punky143]

Yes, I took DBT on two separate occasions but like everything, the information gets lost. School was rather difficult for me. Teachers would say I have a switch that goes off and on. Perhaps was that the first indication of dissociation?

 

[joeylittle]

Yes, I took DBT on two separate occasions but like everything, the information gets lost.

Were you in a full DBT program? The sort where you have therapy once/week, plus unlimited phone contact with your therapist, plus group once/week?

I can't speak to the dissociative issues you are experiencing - but when you wrote about no-one understanding the intensity of the feelings you are having, it jumped out at me that if you've not done a 6/9-month full-support DBT program, you should seriously consider it. It's much, much more supportive than just once a week with a workbook.

 

[Punky143]

I too was in individual therapy along with weekly DBT group plus available phone contact in between. 2 years of DBT round one and then retook it again for a year. When the emotional parts come out, I can go from a 6 down to negative often ruminating about suicidal ideation. I have mindfully tried doing many distress tolerance skills, but at that point I leave and others take over. Most of the time I feel like the monkey in the middle but being shoved back and forth from one side to the other. My hearing becomes magnified and every little noise pierces through my body. Then its downhill from there. The parts with rage send a shock from my toes to my hands. Maybe like the incredible hulk feels. And this happens all the time. There is so much splitting happening to use a skill because its sometimes minute to minute concentration. I try. I really do. And when it starts to work I enjoy all of it knowing its only going to last for a minute.

 

[joeylittle]

@Punky143 - how is your current therapist addressing your DID? Is that an actual diagnosis you have? And do you think your therapist is qualified?