Search results

Thanks all, for your replies. And I want to clarify, that I would never take anything back and not tell people. I believe that not telling anyone continues to give your once abuser power - keeping THEIR secret. Having said that, it's not like I tell everyone either. .... "Your groceries come...

Does anyone else feel like people in their life just don't want to know about their PTSD? I've been diagnosed for maybe 7 or so years. In my life, it's like there was this period when first diagnosed when it was ok for it to affect me and although a lot of people still didn't want to know...

@gizmo - my mother didn't actually abuse me, but condoned it and would constantly tell me that if I told then I would make her and my brothers homeless... if only cancer was contagious and she would catch it too!!

Today I learnt my father who abused me as a child, raped me and broke my arm, (among other things), might have cancer. My husband and I are celebrating with a bottle of champagne.

I understand this must be such a dreadful and frustrating situation for you, but please, try and hang in there. It can be terrible when you are not listened to and frustrating when you feel that way, especially when it's something so important. However, please remember that these events such as...

I guess, the only thing I can suggest, thinking on it further, is using other stress related strategies, without going into the memories. I recently had a string of new flashbacks but due to the fact that I'm working fulltime and have a 4 year old, I couldn't really delve into the memories as...

That really sucks. I wish I had some advice I could give you that would help. But all I can think of is to say that I empathise. My trauma too was very dangerous to delve into, for me. It almost killed me many times. I hope you are able to get the help that you need eventually.

Just found this, which I found interesting in possibly explaining my issues when falling asleep, don't know if it might help others... "(Those with PTSD) might feel the need to maintain a high level of vigilance, which can make sleep difficult." "Hypnagogic jerks refer to involuntary bodily...

Yes, I suffer issues as I'm drifting off to sleep also. There's this absolute terror, but no flashbacks. It seems to be just as I'm falling into an unconscious state - just as I'm about to enter sleep and lose control. I've always theorised about it but never really known exactly what it is...

I haven't forgiven my father and I never will. In fact, I hate him and I am well justified in hating him. I don't and will never let that hate be a driving force in my life or a dominant emotion. It's very healthy to be angry and we all have a right to be angry with our abuser. Forgiveness...

Oh, hell yes! I not only couldn't talk about my trauma with my T unless he asked a direct question, I didn't talk about anything unless he asked a direct question, even if I wanted to. It took me a long time to figure it out, but for me part of my fear was that of saying the wrong thing and...

Yes, hugely so. Although after 5 or 6 years of therapy it is significantly better. I don't fear the abandonment of my husband really, but I am still not good with female friendships. I always think there will be abandonment there and tend to distance myself because of this. I think to a...

Well I am quite a talented writer and I'm not bad at painting also... although it has taken me approximately 5 years in therapy to be able to say that because my self esteem was so low I became exceedingly anxious to even think I was good at something! It's nice now to feel I am good at...

Mine has actually varied between the Ts I've seen over time. My first private psychologist, especially during the beginning stage allowed email and some phone contact between sessions. He would reply to my questions via email regularly and was often available for crisis help. As I progressed...

Hi all, So, here is the background to my story... shorthand. I've PTSD and DID. I was abused by my father and grandfather as a child. My mother knew about the abuse by my father, but blamed me for it and called me a 'slut' and was angry with me basically for taking my fathers attention. She...

It certainly takes a huge toll on your body. If you consider that even normal levels of work stress etc. is really your body in fight of flight mode - then add PTSD on top of any other issues your experiencing, you are probably quite constantly in this mode. Your body is constantly in...

No problem. I hope that it gets you somewhere. I wonder if your protector part, that keeps the secrets, sees it as her job not to feel, because the idea of feeling all of those things she's stored away and kept from the other parts is just such a horrible thought. At first I used to hate my...

I don't know if it helps much, but I can say in my time I have had tests for nearly everything, from heart conditions to cancer to chronic fatigue to asthma. I have been through huge periods of being soooo exhausted and I too was not depressed at these times. What I do feel a lot of, as all of...

I know your confusion and your confused entangled of emotions well. So much of what you wrote reminded me of situations and feelings I have felt so many times before. I too, have DID. I guess, there are a few things I can suggest and then you just have to see which might work for you and...

I don't think of suicide as 'screwing the world', more of a 'f*ck this, I'm outta here'. Having said that, I don't think of actually acting upon my suicidal thoughts at all anymore. We must, however, remember that 'angry' is not a negative emotion, but rather just an emotion. It's quite...

Thanks guys. No worries about actually following through on the suicide here. Probably didn't explain myself very well, too emotional. Just in the moment wanted to indulge my anger at the injustice of it all, but in the morning, back to normal - whatever that is! The "that's the suicide story...

So, tonight, for the what-seems-like the billionth time in my life, I'm having the thought that I want to kill myself. After years of therapy, I know it's just that - a thought - a well ingrained, well learnt, patterned reaction to stress and triggers born from a time when killing myself really...

Great explanation @anthony . I agree with most of what you say here, and I do think that triggers and stressors get confused and although it's hard, we must try to remember not to use them as a way to avoid those things that challenge us, as we all know avoidance is detrimental to healing. I do...

Thanks @macbeth . It is hard. It's not like we can help our issues, but you're right - you can't help but feel guilty when your hubby is so patient and understanding. They are only human, after all! Don't get me wrong, I am blessed to have my man, I just wish I could give him more in this...

Hi all, So, my PTSD generally makes me, what I like to refer to as 'asexual'. It's such a huge thing for me and so full of triggers, it doesn't happen very often. Last night I had sex with my husband (sorry for the overshare!). I felt so happy and close to him last night. It was nice to...