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  1. I

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I'm feeling relieved that my pipe finally unfroze, hopeful that there was no bursting given that my neighbours downstairs are awake and there's been no shrieking or knocks on the door, uncomfortably hot and cranky because the heat is so high (to unfreeze the pipe), annoyed and frustrated that...
  2. I

    It Happened. Now What?

    Yeah, plan B will do that. It sucks. I hope the cramping passes soon.
  3. I

    Poll Provocation Poll

    I guess I think of this as something similar to "she was dressing provocatively." In my head, it's associated with the notion that one person is responsible for another person's feelings and (likely inappropriate) behaviour, which I've spent a lot of time in therapy learning is not true. I'm...
  4. I

    Scared/nervous About Therapy Tomorrow

    Sometimes I can open up and be vulnerable in therapy and sometimes I can't open up because I'll just fall apart. Some of my therapy sessions involve more tangible progress than others. Everyone, even non-sufferers, have off-days, where things just don't go as well as we'd like. You're allowed to...
  5. I

    Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, And Police

    mytai, you need those resources. They're there for you; you are allowed and deserve to use them. If you need more support than you're asking for, please ask for more. One possibility is meeting with a detective and talking about both the previous and current assaults without giving identifying...
  6. I

    How Can I Keep The Truth A Secret From Those Who Care About Me?

    Not wanting to disclose deeply intimate, personal trauma is not always about secret-keeping. Sometimes it's about I've got enough on my goddamn plate already without wanting or needing to deal with someone else's feelings about my trauma, especially in the early days of trauma processing. Even...
  7. I

    Please Help...child Advocacy Center Is A Bully?

    Definitely keep going up the chain of command. Also, are Roberta and Jan social workers? Can you report them to their governing body? In Canada (or at least in my province) we can do that, but I'm not sure how that works in the US. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
  8. I

    I Feel Like Nobody Can Help Me And Nobody Wants To.

    Your daughter's right - one step at a time, and sometimes that step is a really small step but every single step matters. My suggestion for a baby step is to think of one small thing that you can give to or do for yourself today that would make the day a little bit brighter for you and then let...
  9. I

    Having To Make School Aware Of My Ptsd

    I have no doubt that this whole process has been tough as heck for you and that it's going to be tough to attend classes and talk to your professors while you wait to hear, but no matter what happens, I really admire your hard work and I do think it's brave and impressive of you. I would hope...
  10. I

    Can You Get A Person With Npd To Value You Again?

    I'm sorry - you think he has npd but you know how to treat him better now?! From what I read in the above, it's not how you treated him that's the problem, and no matter how well you treat someone who has (untreated) npd, it's never, ever going to be good enough. You can completely deny your own...
  11. I

    Struggles In Getting People To Understand My Ptsd

    Personally, I would set really firm boundaries. When I was calm and clear, I would try to talk to my family and anyone else I thought I needed to talk to, about exactly how and why their behaviour is detrimental - something like "I understand that my illness is invisible to you, but it wreaks...
  12. I

    Bad Si, Husband Has Zero Empathy, How To Pull Through

    If 10 sessions were all it took to cure PTSD, none of us would be here and this site wouldn't exist. If only it were that simple. Your trauma and trauma responses aren't about your husband, and neither is your son's OCD. At best, he's being self-absorbed and inconsiderate, at worst, I don't...
  13. I

    My Mom Wants Me To Die.

    What I don't understand is how they can change the terms of the trust without your consent. Usually the right to revise terms belongs to the grantor, which I assume is you given that they need you to sign. If you do have the sole right to change the trust, then I'm not sure what they did was...
  14. I

    Self-harm, self-loathing, anger

    Oh, sorry, the black and white thinking is part of PTSD, which I have too. I can understand wanting an explanation, and to understand what's going on, but what makes you feel like PTSD isn't the right label for you? I feel you on the being overwhelmed part. When I'm in that place, even when I...
  15. I

    Self-harm, self-loathing, anger

    Both PTSD and OCD are pretty darn serious. And there are some mental health professionals who believe that BPD is actually a form of PTSD. Also, the way that you describe and constrast yourself with your girlfriend sounds like black and white thinking - she's all good, you're all bad. She's...
  16. I

    Tired Of Having My Guard Up. I Cannot Be Loved.

    For me, the second guessing and always being on guard was/is a way to try to control the situation. I thought being in control would help me avoid future hurts and pains, but when I was always on guard, I was always stressed which puts me less in control and more in reactionary mode. I was also...
  17. I

    I Just Want To Give Up

    I hate the dreaded "what do you do?" questions so I have a little list of possible answers I keep in my head: Nothing exciting, I'm working on my health issues, a list of hobbies (because I once completely missed the point of what they were asking, but hey, it worked), you could answer...
  18. I

    "they Had No Other Choice" Mentality

    I'm not quite sure how to articulate this, but I think feeling psychologically unable or incapable is sometimes or maybe even always being psychologically incapable. Something may be physically possible but psychologically impossible. My mom did not have to harm me (in the physical sense you're...
  19. I

    Compassion For Those Who Abused You

    Chances are that your grandfather had a strict/difficult upbringing of his own too. It's really crappy, but basically, if people don't work through the toxic shit from their past, they usually end up taking it out on themselves and/or other people. Personally, I don't always feel compassion for...
  20. I

    How Do I Develop A Positive Relationship With My Weight?

    My first suggestion is that if you have a home scale, ditch it. It is far, far too easy to step on a scale, see the numbers and then beat the everloving crap out of yourself. At least for me. Those numbers don't tell you all that much about yourself, really, but it's so easy to allow those...
  21. I

    Sufferer Emotionally Abused By Dad

    Yes, oh my goodness, yes. This is something I relate to all too well, but my brain is just too full of incoherent thoughts for me to write more at the moment. I just really want you to know right now that you are not alone in this, your response is perfectly normal and sane given what you...
  22. I

    Somewhere Between Psychotic And Iconic...

    I can only imagine how enormously painful it is to have to encounter two family members who so terribly betrayed you whenever you want to celebrate a special occasion with your family. That's so awful. You deserve to be able to be comfortable, relaxed and joyous around your family. I am so...
  23. I

    General Feeling Foolish

    Lil Bit, I had a friend who sounds a little too similar to yours for comfort. Everyone always left her, everyone but her was responsible for her feelings, she could/would not convey her feelings but I was somehow supposed to know them and respond the way she wanted me to without her even telling...
  24. I

    Self Acceptance - What Does That Mean And How Do I Get There?

    For me, self-acceptance means I am who I am, and that's okay. I have spent the bulk of my life attempting to achieve my own or other people's ideals of who I am or should be, even if it means cutting off important pieces or parts of myself. I thought I had to be some measure of perfect in...
  25. I

    The T Said I Am Frightening And I Am Affected Really Badly

    What really strikes me here is that your t is blaming you for her feelings. And it actually seems to be all about her feelings. Instead of telling you concretely what *behaviours* you displayed that frightened her and instead of acknowledging that your trauma might exceed her capacity to cope...
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