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@Miss_Understood , You really sound exhausted to me. I've been where you are, assuming your words have the same connotations for both of us. if you accept them(((((((((((hugs and gentle breezes))))))))

About severe longterm back pain, I have a friend who has arachnoiditis(sp?) It means he has a tangle of spinal nerves outside the spinal column from an injury which is continuing up his spine. He has a subcutanious metered morphine pump that goes directly into his spinal column. It doesn't cure...

Welcome. It is good that you found the forum. There is a lot of support here. People here have pulled me out of the pit many times. SI is all used to I think about. Now my SI has reduced quite a bit. Myself worth has changed with time and Therapy and the caring concern of the people here. There...

Hum-m-m-m. I think we would like to be in a place that is safe and where properly cared for as children. Diassociation work wonders when we are in real danger. Do you really find that is useful in the present? My experiences of disassociation have left me with a full basket of laundry. I putt...

Me too. :unsure::hug:

I have existed for years, sitting on my porch steps, planning my suicide.....I've tried it once as a adult and several times as a teen. When I am bad shape, I can not even think of my daughters 25 and 35 yrs old as a reason to stay alive. Unsually it is their verbal attacks that throw me in the...

Welcome, Bien Venu. Uli, there is really at lot of good information in the section Articles found at the top of your screen. And also we are many members. I can reassure you that though our traumas differ, the PTSD symptoms seem to be the same for most of us. Have fun browsing throught the many...

I am a female sufferer from childhood until I was 13. I handled my PTSD because I didn't know I had it. I feel that God put up amnesia walls so that the sorrows and pain could be compartmentalized and I wouldn't be overwhelmed by it. I've been in Therapy for a while. It has taken time and...

That state of being is so hard. Many, many people who go through a divorse or the death of a mate feel at sea, rudderless and lost. I am sorry for her leaving. Are you able to figure out why she felt the need to leave? Sometimes Therapy around the marriage break up may kick up your...

Your post is very moving. You are right. Police suicides isn't something we, on the outside. hear about. That's too bad. If appropriate help were manditory for the 1st 6 months afer retirement or after a life threatening incident, there could be much less PTSD and its symptoms. The solid blue...

Just below the inhaled breath are hiding massive waves of grief, ready to collapse me to my knees,drag me, and overwhelm me. Each time I breath in, I am aware of pushing down this inner tsunami of sorrow, mind shattering sorrow and raging grief. I am frightened by it.

You are so right. A Pet Scan study done in England showed that the amydala( an instinctive part of human brains that reacts to danger) lights ups up 45 to 60 seconds before our thinking brain even knows something is wrong. The biochemical cascade of survival hormones has already started...

Are there places like soup kitchens where you can eat for free? I encourage you to keep looking for a PTSD specialist healer or healing place. Your life can and will get better, maybe not tomorrow,or next month. I do know. like Lionheart above, that hard work on your traumas does bear fruit. You...

Welcome, Queen Jitters, Thanks for being able to post your sorrows and pain here. You are very clear about the consequences that came after your near death experience. There are lots and lots of PTSD symptoms the people here have and know well. As you read other threads, you will find...

Welcome to this forum. We all have experienced something aweful and have PTSD. Though the events can be different, PTSD symptoms are very similiar. I think you will find a lot of support here. May I suggest you make a Trauma Diary here on the PTSD forum. Diaries are good places to write out...

Great observation! :rolleyes: One of the most healing things I have done along the way is to stop calling myself names. They are not originally my thoughts. They belong to the abusers. You deserve to be treated kindly, gentlely, and patientally especially by yourself. It may take some time to...

Yes, I think so. I have also thought, in the early years of therapy, that I didn't deserve to be happy, or giggely with my children. I like smiling at a tree for no good reason, except I liked the way the wind made the leaves move. It is really ok to let the good stuff in however fleetingly.

You have a lot of determination, courage and direction. That will take you far in healing. You whole post is like a manifesto for most of us. I will be coming back to your post to inhale the sweet scent of strength and determination. I'm agoraphobic too.

Yes, of course, you are hurt and confused. I guess he is too. Don't be too hard on yourself. Many people can't speak about a rape for 10 or more years. I'm sad for you that speaking up has turned you fiance away. Although speaking your truth had a sad effect, it is still important to speak...

You can dilute essential oils in almond oil. It makes great massage oil. You can make your own mix of what works for you. I also mix oils that remind me of being with me Da. ...cedar,lavender, germanium,lemon. I know there a scent missing.....essence of cigarette LOL. I can't afford massages...

Aromatherapy is so full of natural wisdom. I have a friend who has been using and teaching about Aroma therapy for 30yrs. She is from England and the south of France. I remember a wise thing she said one day. If an oil smells good to you on a certain day, it doesn't matter what the defined use...

Lighting a candle for you KP. I will pray for you on thursday. I need help sincing up the time zones. I'm on Eastern Daylight Time in the USA.

I suggest that you might like to write down what you want to say to the police. You can check it with your T over the phone if you won't see her soon. Reading it to her will be practice for reading it to the police. Picture the police station where you have been before. See yourself calmly...

Validation is a strange odd subject to me. I guess since I knew I was worthless, not entitled to the air that I breathed or the space I took up in a room, I never looked for emotional support from any one. Any sense of value had to come from inside me, one tiny piece at a time. It has been...

Great introduction, Tim. Welcome to the forum. This is a very supportive place also with many people who have been where you are now. It does get better but I must say that it is hard work and it takes time.You may have to live through the anniversary of your accident each year for a while...