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I have a problem with feeling attraction towards one of my abusers (or people who remind me of him) and then later feeling so ashamed that sometimes it makes me suicidal. I hope I’m not the only one who has felt like this because right now I feel alone and disgusting. For some reason when it...

You're right @Dergrosse, I am not a big fan of summer. Way too hot right now! I'm ready for things to cool down. I have kept a journal for as long as I can remember, although I'm not sure if what a six-year-old could write in a notebook would count as a journal lol. Mostly it was just pictures...

I've had fewer issues with this since I started using the Grammarly extension on my computer. Their program is better than any other autocorrect I've used when it comes to recognizing more complicated issues like this. It will even give me suggestions on how to reword a sentence so it is easier...

I was so stressed out over labeling my sexuality in high school until I eventually realized that it didn't really matter. What do I really need the label for? Just so other people can know who I'm into? I decided that I like whoever I like and the label doesn't matter. I think the label is...

I don't like having to do this game as an in-person icebreaker, but online I think it will be a fun way to get to know each other. We could share things about ourselves that we don't usually get an opportunity to talk about So the rules are: Share three facts about yourself. Two are true and...

That's a good idea to go back and reply to your journal entries. I might start doing that too. Journaling also helps me with calming down from freakouts. Another thing that I do is remind myself that I don't have to act on my feelings. Just because I feel depressed and want to lay in bed all day...

My visual flashbacks are typically similar to what @coraxxx described, semi-transparent visuals on top of real life, opaque with my other senses involved if I'm really far gone. The one exception is when I see someone who has facial features that are vaguely similar to one of my abusers. It's...

Recovery is incredibly hard, especially at the beginning, but if you keep pushing your life could be so much more enjoyable than it is now. I'm not sure of your exact symptoms, but I know that for many people pre-PTSD recovery, it feels like the past is determining everything about your present...

Have you talked to your therapist about how you've been feeling after your sessions? I've heard that with EMDR it's common to feel worse before you feel better. The couple of times I tried EMDR, I definitely had an increase in symptoms. Your therapist should know if your reaction is temporary...

Welcome :) The forum has been unbelievably helpful for my PTSD treatment. I hope it's the same for you. Is the ketamine treatment working? It's been recommended to me a few times, but the whole idea of it freaks me out

I ended up asking her if she was going to talk to her therapist about what happened. She ignored that question and sent me something unrelated. Pretty typical of either of us when we're talking about something serious that happened to us. We both decide that we'd rather talk about something else...

This made me really angry at first, but it's because you're right. If I had been in her position, I would understand if she had said no to coming to get me (probably after being very upset about it initially). She doesn't have to put herself in danger for my sake. I realize now that this is...

Recently, my friend and I went out of state together to go see a concert. For both of us, this would be the first time that we were planning a trip and traveling, on our own. We’re both 20 y/o. We both have PTSD from sexual assault/abuse. We’ve been friends for more than a decade. My friend made...

That is horrible. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I have heard that restraining orders are pretty useless, from the people I know that have them. I've also had personal experience with the cops refusing to hold their own accountable. It is a massive issue. I never personally tried to...

When I keep jumping from task to task usually it means that I'm avoiding my thoughts and feelings. I'm trying to keep myself so busy that no thoughts or feelings can catch up with me and make me upset. For me, it doesn't get better until I force myself to stop and ask myself "what are you...

My partner has this same extreme panic reaction to the news and he does have PTSD. It has been wearing on me recently when all he wants to talk about is how the world is ending. It seems like he can't be convinced to put. the. phone. down (!!!!!), so I don't know what to do at this point. But...

That cycle drives me crazy. Things are in the news and everyone is acting like they care. A week later, they find something else to pretend to care about and nothing has changed at all. Rinse and repeat

1.7%??? That is so disgusting and pathetic. What, do they need a video of it happening and a signed confession? It is bullshit that someone can only rape with a penis. I thought 50/50 was bad in the US but that really is abysmal. Might as well make it legal at that point for f*ck's sake

I think you're right that, as a society, we have the awareness part down, but we need to move on to the next step. I'm not sure what the next step is closer to acceptance. Maybe acceptance is the next step? I've never thought about the TV aspect before; that is interesting. I agree that the...

That makes sense. Ugh, I hope things don't get even hairier. I guess it's all worth it if things are actually getting better. I just wish I weren't in the line of fire. Also, it's disappointing what ended up happening with times up

This is absolutely okay. You don't have to forgive to heal, although a lot of people seem to believe that. There are people in this world who don't deserve forgiveness. For most of the people who have abused me, I don't give a shit about their suffering. With the teen girls that were involved in...

As someone who isn't British, I was losing it trying to figure out what this means 😆 Finally got it lol

This was my experience too, when my stuff was in the news. Well, it was mostly shock and pity and a lot of harsh names and disbelief on the side. The shock and pity are not much better, I think. Shock was on the edge of disbelief and pity from people who don't actually get it makes me feel like...

Is it really less stigmatized to disclose abuse than it used to be? Are victims treated better than they used to be? Is (your) society doing a better job of preventing, noticing, and intervening with abuse? I was a teenager when #metoo started, so I don't know much about what things used to be...

I've experienced childhood sexual abuse and I have similar issues with sexuality. For the past few years, it's been the thing that has caused most of my suicidal episodes. The shame is just so unbearable. Although, when I hear you describe doing and feeling the exact same things, it seems...