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I struggled a bit with being honest with my therapist about my comfort level with her early on in my therapy. For example, I often convince myself people are trying to manipulate me, but when confronted by this I would say I didn't feel that way about my therapist. This wasn't true at the time...

I struggle with putting on the persona of having everything in my life together. A friend of mine has recently asked me to be his best man and he texted me to ask if I would be comfortable giving a best man speech. I had originally planned to do it and it's been causing me a great deal of...

When I was in middle school (where a lot of my trauma was worse), I would wear hooded sweatshirts or sweaters to feel comfortable. In 9th grade, I was known as the "weird kid" who wore hooding year round. I remember sweating my ass off and people would ask why I didn't take my sweater off. I...

I've always been the first person to finish eating. I attribute this to having to sit at the table with my family and my mother not allowing me to return to video games until I finished all my food. So, I would eat ridiculously fast. Now it's so ingrained that I have to pay attention in social...

So, I'm supposed to be on my way to a work event with my coworkers and I can't help but sit here thinking defeating critical thoughts about all the things that will go wrong. I'm trying to remind myself that I have control of the situation, and that I can choose not to go if I prefer (a lot of...

@tori0718, I don't blame you. Dealing with a sufferer is not easy, and it's not something you asked for. As far as his response goes, that could be something we refer to as dissociation, where a part of our brain basically disconnects us from reality is some capacity as a defense mechanism...

I don't know what it feels like in your chest but I've jerked (physically jumping in my skin) awake suddenly being completely out of breath and completely terrified, takes a long pause before I'm even aware of where I am and start breathing again. Once this happens it tends to keep repeating all...

Are you prepared to be woken up at 3 AM by someone who's irrationally terrified? I lean on my girlfriend in this way from time to time and I find it very helpful. I bet if you let her know she can call you at any hour just to talk that would be very soothing. I know in my experience late...

I share this, although I often don't get up and check, then let my thoughts race as I imagine someone breaking into my house to attack me. This of course leads to full on panic attacks, and the process just spirals from there. Not terribly fun.

What a great thread, I find listening to songs I relate to helps me actually feel sad without shutting down. I have an entire playlist on Spotify just for this: Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends Rise Against - Make It Stop (September's Children) If you're not familiar with the...

Welcome to the forums. Eye contact is something that has become difficult over the years for me. This is something my therapist has focused on, and I think I'm improving on. If you're not seeing a therapist, I can't recommend enough that you start. I put it off for 2-3 years with all sorts...

I'm sorry you had to go through all that and it sounds like the toughest part is ahead. The world's a sick place, but I'm sure you will find comfort and support here, there's a lot of good people and information on this board. Welcome.

Amen. I agree with an earlier poster who said something like "why are you trying to explain it to someone"? Honestly, if they've never been there I don't want them to understand, I'll leave them in their ignorant bliss and get on my not-so-merry way until my moods improves. That last bit is...

Jacnic, Welcome to the forums! I know exactly what you mean when you say you think you should feel angry or sad, but you don't, or maybe you catch a glimpse of it. In my year in therapy I've managed to get to a point where my sadness or anger stays with me long enough to cry twice, and it...

So it's been a few days, but I thought I'd share my story as someone may relate or have some helpful advice. Let me give a brief background of myself, since I've been quiet lately. I'm 26 years old and I've been living with my girlfriend for 8 years. I'm a survivor of childhood abuse. I've...

I remember thinking the exact same thing when I went in after way too long. I went in with a self-diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, never having suspected my past. After a few visits she explained what PTSD was, and started asking the uncomfortable questions that made is quite clear I...

Welcome to the forums! I know how you feel, I hate myself many days. I also spend a lot of time hating other people. I've read about the science of being happy (The Buddha's Brain is a great book) and it starts with being positive inside and out. It's very difficult and I think I'd be lying...

Welcome to the forum, you'll find you're not alone here. Today has been an emotional day for me full of resent for my life. The struggle to understand why we were subjected to this is a painful one. @Autumncolors: I cried alone in my car a few weeks ago. It felt very freeing... I'd like to...

I'm trying to come down from what feels like an oncoming panic attack. Hoping that writing this down and knowing someone who understands will read it will help. I've made a lot of progress lately. I've enjoyed times with friends and even seeked them out for company and companionship...

Panic attacks can manifest in a lot of different ways but are usually known by how they escalate. It took me a while to accept what was happening to me was a panic attack. I'm sorry you've gone through that, they are very frightening and confusing... ((hugs)).

Welcome to the forums. I, too, once had a reaction to a penicillin. Not as bad as yours, but I can relate to that is a truly terrifying feeling. Good luck on the road to recovery!

Thank you, intothelight, I was hoping that while I read this someone would agree with me. I don't support increasing or decreasing taxes on the "rich", because that's classism. Why should they suffer because of their success?* Instead, put a flat tax on consumption. People with money will...

Awesome story, thank you for sharing!! What is this risky treatment called? You've sparked my curiosity. I probably won't use it, but I'm interested in reading about it.

Thanks for sharing your story in such detail. It's so good to read these long, detailed success stories when you're still fighting day to day to survive. We may not share the same story, but your success means I can do it too. So, thank you for that!

I faced the same thing on my mother's side, it's frustrating. Nice work, Ice_Fire!