Busy Weekend...

[user17231]

I'm trying to come down from what feels like an oncoming panic attack. Hoping that writing this down and knowing someone who understands will read it will help.

I've made a lot of progress lately. I've enjoyed times with friends and even seeked them out for company and companionship. Sometimes I'm afraid that when things are going well I bite off more than I can chew.

Last night I went to my uncle's house to play drums with his friends (who each play guitar/bass/sing). I was terrified that I wouldn't be good enough, but they're really just messing around. It went really well for 2-3 hours then I started getting anxious as I got tired (and my back began to hurt). I spent a lot of "emotional energy" on that night and I'm worried I'm going to have a hard time with the next three days.

I planned 4 days of activities in a row. Tonight a half-dozen of my friends are coming over to watch a movie. Part of me is looking forward to it, but also already looking forward to it being over. I don't like the feeling that things are coming up -- it gives me the sense that the end of my life is coming. Events sometimes feel like death.

Tomorrow night I'm going to a charity rock show headlined by a band lead by one of the girls coming tonight. It should be a lot of fun, but I'm worried about driving into the city, finding a place to park, drinking too much (and feeling the need to do so). Needless to say everything is running through my head at 100mph... :arghh;

Then finally on Sunday my boss invited me to a football game with some colleagues. They're good folks, but I'm nervous about the vendor who's taking us out. I don't like being put on the spot, it takes an active amount of energy to reassure myself that people are just trying to have a good time, not trying to pick on me. This goes back to my childhood, where I was picked on relentlessly, then got to go home to a crazy home life that was unsupportive and unreliable.

In the past I've used a ton of avoidance to get out of these situations, and I'm trying not to think about that as a possibility and get through this. Also trying to have fun.... :cautious:

Thanks for reading... wish me luck.

 

[Katz2]

I wish you luck :hug: I understand and feel some of the things you've just mentioned.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think you are doing good living your life. I think it is very healthy. I wish you the best. Good luck.

 

[discarded]

I don't have much advice other then to do some breathing exercises to calm down if you can and then break it down into just focusing on one event at a time, again if you can. Write it all down, then you can focus on the things that are setting you and finding a solution. A great start writing it above. Perhaps you could get a lift to the concert so you don't have to stress about driving in or parking. Hope this helps and good luck with it all. You are being very brave.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Kyle))), breathe, breathe and breathe.

It is overwhelming when a lot is happening like that. From experience, all I can say is allow yourself time out. I always know the fastest way out of a place, either to the toilets or outside or somewhere quieter.

I do a body scan at regular intervals to assess how my body and mind are feeling and if necessary, I remove myself for maybe 5 minutes and I go do some breathing/grounding exercises.

I also fine essential lemon oil on a tissue very grounding and calming.

Let me know how you do and try and have a great time.

If possible allow yourself a few quiet days to recover as you will feel mentally and physically drained.

 

[Britt.f7]

I tend to get panicky with any gatherings, even with my family. For days I have this panicky feeling. Once I get there, it takes me about twenty minutes or so, I eventually stop being panicky and enjoy myself. I realize people are not focused on me. I do try to calm myself down mentally before hand and remind myself that I do end up enjoying myself once I relax.

I wish you luck and that you actually have a good time. It sounds like it is a weekend full of fun and friendship. And, like everyone else mentions, breathe.